since our eyes first met - Minsung

챕터again...

Jisungs POV again:

I can feel the heartbeat in my chest. It beats like a throbbing bass, faster and louder. It's as if my body refuses to change its rhythm, as if everything around me is wobbling and I can't hold on anymore.

My hands are cold, shaking. I try to calm them by pressing them against my knees, but it doesn't help. Breathing – deep in and out – isn't working. It feels like the air is leaving my body. The walls of the room seem to be closing in, and all I can hear is the rhythm of my own pounding heart.

»Not again,« I whisper softly, as if saying it could be some kind of spell to make everything normal again. But it doesn't. My vision blurs, and I try to focus somehow on the floor. The floor is solid, the floor is safe, I tell myself. But my body disagrees. It trembles, relentlessly, as if it can no longer control itself.

Yesterday was the same. But I wasn't alone then. Atleast nor all the time. Chan and Hyunjin had helped me, they were quickly by my side, calming me down. But today... Today is different. Today, I am here, alone.

I swallow as cold sweat appears on my forehead. My thoughts are racing, and suddenly, a memory flashes in front of me. It's the image of Minho, sitting next to me, looking at me with a calm gaze, as if he could have freed me from all of this, from everything that is tearing me apart. But now he's not here. No one is here.

I close my eyes, trying to think of something else, but the pressure in my chest remains. The silence in the room feels unbearable, as if it's suffocating me.

Then I hear the door open. A soft creak, and I feel the room shift.

»Jisung?« Minho's voice is soft, but also steady. Just like it always sounds when he looks out for me, when he helps me. The sound of his voice has something calming about it, and for a moment, I don't know if he's really here or if I'm imagining it. But when I open my eyes, he is actually there, with a look that instantly recognizes that something is wrong.

»Hey,« he says, coming closer. »Are you okay?«

»I... I can't... breathe,« I stammer, my breath still shallow and frantic. I want to say more, but the words won't come.

Minho comes closer without hesitation. He carefully sits on the edge of the bed and places a hand on my back. »Look at me,« he says softly.

I do. Slowly, very slowly, I meet his gaze. His eyes are calm, firm, and yet there's something in them that tells me he understands. That he knows what's happening to me right now. That he can help me, without words.

»Breathe with me, okay?« he says, as he gently strokes my shoulder. »Slowly. Inhale, exhale. Come on.«

I don't want him to touch me, to see how fragile I am right now, but in this moment, it's what I need.

Minho takes a deep breath, and I try to follow him. At first, it's not working, but then, after a while, when I stop fighting against it so much, I manage. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale.

»Good,« he says quietly, his voice still soft and reassuring. »Now, again. You've got this, Jisung.«

And then it works, somehow. Slowly, I start to come back. The panic that had overwhelmed me like a landslide is slowly fading. The room, which had felt so cramped, is expanding again. The air is no longer so thick and heavy.

»Thank you...« I finally say, as my voice sounds more normal again. »I don't know what I would do without you, Minho.«

He looks at me and then shrugs. »That's what friends do, right?« A small smile plays on his lips.

I can't help but smile, even if it's still a little hesitant. But it feels good, this little smile. And it feels even better that he's here. Just here, without asking, without pushing me.

»Come on, let's get something to drink,« he says as he stands up. »I think we both could use a break.«

I nod and stand up, even though I still feel a little shaky. But Minho is by my side, he doesn't let me go. Step by step, we walk to the kitchen, and the room suddenly doesn't feel as empty as before.

I know it's not a nice theme but I wanted that Minho is making up for what happend the day before.
I also had a few panic attacks before so I was really able to write it like panic attacks are, at least when I have one... 
Words count: 777 (🌺◕‿◕)