INTERNAL CRIES - COMPLETED

Kabanata 35

Kabanata 35

Wedding 

My hands were shaking, and I felt dizzy. I can’t hear anything. What I saw set me in a deafening silence.

I don’t know how I should feel. All I know is I can't handle this at this time. No. I’m not ready for this, and I don't think I can be ready at all.

I can feel my tears slowly streaming down my face. Even if my body was shaking, I slowly walked towards the frame and tried to familiarize myself with it. And yes, some blurry images tried to emerge in my memory. But they're too blurry for me to recognize it properly.

Hinaplos ko ang picture gamit ang nanginginig na kamay bago ako nagpasyang lumapit sa mga cabinets sa loob ng kwarto.

Clothes after clothes were inside of the cabinets. It's for a petite woman, so I bet it's mine. I also saw more pictures of us from our wedding, but none of them I saw Kheeno smiling. That does mean he isn't happy with that wedding.

I rummaged the bedside table’s drawers for more information, and I saw more pictures—more candid shoots of Kheeno.

What the fuck is really happening!?

The longer I searched in this room, the more pain I felt in my chest. It feels like something was twitching a knife on it.

But one picture really got my attention. Kheeno and a very beautiful woman kissing each other.

I checked the picture’s back and even found the words written behind—the man I wished to have and the woman he loves the most. This is my penmanship.

My heart hurts even more, and my breathing becomes hitched. The dizziness, the deafening silence—it's getting worse. And if I don't get out here now, I might collapse in no time.

With still shaking hands, I rushed out of the room and went to Kheeno’s room and grabbed my things.

I don't care where he is. I don't care what he's doing right now. All I care about now is myself... and my health.

I got a taxi as fast as I could. Dumiretso ako sa mansion at agad na kinuha ang importanting mga gamit at nilagay iyon sa backpack ko.

I need to get out of here. I don't know what games they're playing with me, but I'm not up for it. I haven't gained my memories back yet. And as much as I wanted to remember again, I just couldn't.

“Fuck!” I shouted and threw my things on the floor and sat down.

After I woke up from the operation, I didn't remember I had cried since then. But today is the first time and the worst so far. I was betrayed by the man I had trusted and loved.

“Fuck you, Kheeno!” I whine.

My phone rings, and I see Kheeno’s name flashing on the screen. Imbes na sagutin ay hinayaan ko lang itong mag-ring hanggang sa mamatay. 

I stayed in my room for, I don't know, many hours. I just got the courage to stand up and get out of my room, together with my backpack, when I stopped myself from crying.

Agad akong dumiretso sa garahe at kinuha ang Jeep ko. I was in the front yard, near the fountain, when I saw Kheeno and Daddy's car coming over.

Padarag kong tinigil ang sasakyan sa harap ng fountain at agad na lumabas sa sasakyan. I still have my backpack on my shoulder and didn't even bother to leave it on the passenger seat.

Tumigil ang sasakyan ni Kheeno at kaagad itong lumabas.

“I called you, Arden.” Kheeno rushed into me, but I didn't bother to glance in his direction.

“Yeah, I know. I stared at my phone while it was ringing,” seryoso kong saad.

Napatigil si Kheeno sa paglapit sa akin. I saw my father get out of his car right away.

“McKenna, what happened?” agad na tanong ni Daddy at lumapit sa akin. “Joshelle called me that you're packing and threw things inside your room.”

Tiningnan ko si Daddy. “You two, we need to talk in the office, now,” utos ko.

Nauna akong naglakad papasok sa bahay. Iniwan ko lang ang backpack ko sa hood ng Jeep ko at agad na dumiretso sa loob ng opisina dito sa mansion.

I heard them sigh behind me but didn't say anything.

“Am I still married to Mr. Urzua?” diretsong tanong ko nang makitang nakapasok na sina Daddy at isinara ni Kheeno ang pintuan.

I saw my father sigh and bow his head. Sinipat ko si Kheeno. Seryoso lang ang mukha nitong nakatingin sa akin.

“Kenna—”

“Answer me, Dad!” putol ko sa sasabihin pa niya.

“Yes, you are still married to me, Arden—”

“Then I’ll call Rhomisor Adam now to prepare our annulment paper now,” I cut him off.

Kheeno sighed and jotted his hands in his pocket.

“You don't need to do that.” I glared at him. “I-I... I still have the annulment paper you prepared three years ago. I haven't signed it.”

Galit ang mga matang ipinukol ko kay Kheeno dahil sa sinabi nito. My father, on the other hand, remained silent.

“Then you should sign it now!” galit na saad ko. Kheeno shook his head and looked at me.

“I can't...” He shook his head again; his eyes were pleading. I can feel my anger growing. “I can't do that, Arden.”

“Bet me you can, Mr. Urzua. If I handed you the annulment paper before I undergo an operation, then it was the best reason I did it before I forgot all of you! Now, sign that fucking annulment paper and get lost!”

The pain that strikes my heart feels unbearable, but I need to be strong. What I saw and discovered today was enough reason why I should cut ties with him.

“I know you don't want that wedding. I know I wasn't the woman you want to marry for. I know I wasn't that woman you love, Mr. Urzua, so what’s stopping you from signing that fucking paper!?” singhal ko. 

I was so pissed that I wanted to just disappear from here now. But I know running away from this will just hunt me wherever I go. So, instead of running away, I’ll face it now. Three years ago was a long time for running. I won't be a coward now. I'll face my past, even if I wasn't ready.

“I saw the pictures of you in the other room this morning. I don't need to explain everything to you, because I know you already knew it.”

I'm trying to stop my tears from pouring so hard, so I need to act cold towards the man whom I thought was real to me. I feel so betrayed. I feel so stupid.

“Yes, I admit. I didn't want that wedding, Arden. But that was in the past—”

“Well, that past that you're talking about is part of my present and future, Mr. Urzua! You can't just tell me that I'll forget it because it’s in my past. Maybe you forgot? I don't remember anything from my past yet, Mr. Urzua, but I can feel that what was between us was chaos.”

“I wanted to start a new life with you, Arden. I wanted us to start over. I'll make things right—”

“All I want you to do is sign the annulment paper,” I said angrily, gritting my teeth.

“Please, Arden...” Kheeno pleaded. I shook my head, nagmamatigas.

“Sign it, or I'll be gone. And this time, I'll make sure that I won't come back here, ever.”

“A-Arden... p-please...”

Tumango ako. “You made your choice,” I said and turned my back and walked towards the door.

“The wedding isn't registered.” I stopped because of what my father said. I turned to face him.

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