I hesitate to write this entry, unsure if I even have the energy to recount everything happening in the past few days.
My mind feels foggy—overwhelmed by countless activities, performance tasks, reports, and final exams.
My body, once so resilient, seems ready to give up on me.
I can’t even remember the events of the past weeks anymore, so I decide to focus on today alone—the moments unfolding here and now.
This morning, I am already at our university campus.
We are having a program—the final event of the semester—because Christmas break officially begins this Monday.
Truth be told, I don’t want to be here.
I have no interest in programs like this. They seem dull and draining.
The thought of sitting through something I don’t care about, just watching and listening, feels more exhausting than lying in bed all day.
I long for sleep, for silence, for peace.
But I have no choice.
I have to show up for the sake of attendance, or I’ll end up with community service when clearance signing begins.
Reality snaps back the moment I see a familiar face in the crowd—my classmate.
I stand up and walk toward her.
She notices me almost instantly, waving cheerfully as I approach.
Without hesitation, we hurry inside the activity center where attendance is being taken.
The moment we enter, we are greeted by a sea of students.
The room buzzes with chatter and movement, a flood of faces all queuing up to sign their names.
“Dae, there are so many people here,” my classmate mutters, pouting slightly.
“I know, but don’t worry. This won’t take long,” I reply, forcing a smile as we join the long line.
As we stand there waiting, I let my eyes wander around the room.
Suddenly, my gaze lands on a group of students wearing the Engineering organization shirt.
My mind immediately whispers his name.
Rizal.
I know he is here.
He is just around.
“Dae, why are you smiling?” my classmate asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.
Me? Smiling? Wait—what?
“Oh, nothing!” I reply quickly, trying to act casual.
She shrugs and turns her attention back to the front of the line.
Goodness!
What is wrong with me?
Why am I smiling like a fool?
I shake off the thought and try to focus on what we are here for.
After what feels like forever, we finally finish with the attendance.
Relief washes over me, and while waiting for the rest of our friends, my classmate and I decide to head to the restroom.
Inside, I stare at my reflection in the mirror.
My face looks… different. I am smiling again.
What is this smile?
My own expression unsettles me.
I start to wonder if I am still normal—if I am still me.
It feels strange, unnatural even.
Once I fix my hair, we step back out and stand off to the side, waiting for the others.
My eyes roam over the lively scene around me.
The campus feels alive.
Students pass us by, some laughing loudly, others chatting animatedly, while others shout playfully across the area.
It is pure chaos, but it is the kind of chaos that makes this place feel alive.
Then I notice it—the building in front of us. It’s the Engineering building.
My eyes instinctively travel upward, scanning its windows and hallways.
And that’s when everything seems to freeze.
The noises around me—laughter, chatter, shouting—all fade into a distant hum.
Time slows.
The world stands still.
And there he is.
Rizal.
He is looking down.
My heart drops, and in an instant, I snap my gaze away, pretending to look anywhere but in his direction.
My heart pounds in my chest, my ears burn hot, and it feels as if I have been drenched in ice water.
What’s happening to me? I think, clutching my bag tightly.
It’s just Rizal.
He’s not a bad person.
But why is my body reacting this way?
Why can’t I breathe properly?
Unable to resist, I glance at him again.
Thankfully, he isn’t looking anymore.
I exhale softly, feeling a tiny bit of relief.
This time, I notice his appearance properly.
As always, Rizal looks neat—almost too neat.
He has this clean, put-together aura about him that makes me feel like standing too close to him would somehow make me look like dirt.
He is wearing a white T-shirt, his glasses sitting perfectly on his face.
And… wait—did he get a haircut?
My eyes linger a little longer.
He looks even more handsome now.
I can’t help but wonder what his classmates think about him—do they see him the way I do?
Before I can think further, my classmate nudges me.
“They’re here,” she says, motioning toward our friends who just arrived.
I nod quickly, tearing my eyes away from Rizal and following them as we leave.
Even as we exit the campus and make plans to go to the mall, his image refuses to leave my mind.
His face keeps flashing repeatedly in my thoughts, and I groan internally.
Here we go again.
And yet, despite the exhaustion and reluctance I feel this morning, the day unexpectedly turns out to be one of the better ones.
It’s as if the universe flips everything around and offers me a small, quiet gift—one I didn’t ask for but am grateful to receive.
Time moves in a blur today, but it leaves me with something precious: warm memories with my classmates and friends.
Shared laughter, little conversations, and yes, even that brief moment when I see him.
These are the moments I will hold onto as we part ways for the break.
After today, we will all return to our hometowns, and it will be a long while before we see each other again.
Before this night ends, I want to pause and thank God.
For guiding me, for protecting me, for loving me even when I struggle.
For giving me the strength, knowledge, and wisdom I need to survive this semester.
I wouldn’t make it without Him.
Thank You, Lord, for always being with me.
YOU ARE READING
POV
NonfiksiLife often presents itself as a series of hurdles, each one taller than the last. These hurdles, though daunting, are not meant to break us but to shape us into who we are meant to be. It is through our darkest nights that we gain the strength to fa...
