Love Begins at Jeju

17-One step at a time

As they sat at the breakfast table, Seokjin’s mind was still heavy with the events of the previous night. His thoughts were a tangled mess of confusion, regret, and concern for Jungkook, yet he had no idea how to approach the younger man. The distance between them felt suffocating, and every glance in Jungkook’s direction only made his stomach tighten with guilt and uncertainty.

Jungkook, on the other hand, was doing everything he could to avoid meeting anyone’s gaze. He picked at his food, trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy, but inside, he was falling apart. The exhaustion was taking its toll, and his chest felt heavy with the unspoken words he wanted to say but couldn’t find the courage to voice. His mind raced with confusion, caught between his feelings for Seokjin and the turmoil they both faced.

The silence in the room was thick, almost suffocating. Seokjin could feel it too—the weight of the unspoken tension that hung in the air. Though he knew he had to break it, he didn’t know how. He opened his mouth once or twice, but each time, the words seemed to die on his tongue. Today, it felt impossible. Every word he wanted to say seemed too fragile, as if it might shatter everything they had built between them.

Yoongi and Hoseok continued their conversation, seemingly unaware of the undercurrent of discomfort in the room. But Seokjin noticed. He could feel it in the way Jungkook fidgeted with his food, in the way he avoided eye contact, in the way his shoulders slumped under the weight of his thoughts. Seokjin’s heart ached as he watched Jungkook’s silent struggle.

After what felt like an eternity, breakfast finally came to an end. Everyone stood up, gathering their things, and Seokjin felt a sudden urgency to speak to Jungkook, to get him alone. He couldn’t stand the silence between them any longer. It was suffocating him.

"Jungkook," Seokjin called softly, his voice steady despite the storm raging inside him.

Jungkook stopped in his tracks, his body stiffening as if bracing for something. He turned slowly, his eyes filled with uncertainty, and for a moment, neither of them spoke. It was as if the weight of everything that had happened hung between them, thick and heavy, making it difficult to breathe.

"Can we talk now?" Seokjin asked quietly, his gaze gentle but firm, the sincerity in his voice unmistakable. "I know you’re not okay, and I was reckless in what I did. I just… think you're not ready for what I’m trying to show you."

Jungkook swallowed hard, his throat dry, and for a brief second, it looked like he might protest. But then he sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat, his eyes refusing to meet Seokjin's.

"Why not?" Jungkook’s voice was barely above a whisper, almost too quiet for Seokjin to hear. "You’re treating me like a child."

Seokjin’s heart dropped at the hurt in Jungkook’s voice. "No, baby, of course not," he said gently, reaching out to take Jungkook’s hand. "Let’s settle this in our room, okay?"

Jungkook nodded slowly, his eyes still downcast. They walked side by side in silence, the halls of the hotel feeling eerily empty. The soft lighting cast long shadows as they made their way to the room, both of them lost in their thoughts. When they finally reached the door, Seokjin closed it behind them, his gaze never leaving Jungkook, his heart racing in anticipation of what needed to be said.

"Jungkook, I—" Seokjin began, but Jungkook cut him off, his voice trembling with emotion.

"Hyung… I don’t know what’s happening." Jungkook’s voice cracked, and his hands trembled as he clasped them together, as if afraid to let them fall. "I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Why did you do that? Everything feels wrong. I just—"

"I love you, Jungkook.. It's just that -—
You're too fragile for me"
Seokjin took a step forward, his own heart aching for Jungkook. He wanted to make everything better, to hold him and protect him from the turmoil they were both feeling. 
"All this time, I’ve had eyes only for you. But I’m afraid it will leave us broken. You’re too young, too driven, too ambitious."

Jungkook’s heart broke at the sight of Seokjin so vulnerable, so open with his feelings. He could feel the weight of the older man’s words pressing down on him, but he didn’t know how to respond. He wanted to say something, but his own emotions were tangled in a mess of fear and longing.

Seokjin took another step closer, closing the distance between them. He gently placed a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder, his touch soft but filled with unspoken emotion.

"But I lose my sanity the moment I realize.. I can’t hold it in any longer. I was so hungry for you. You have no idea how much you’re driving me crazy."

Jungkook’s eyes filled with tears at the sincerity in Seokjin’s voice, and he looked away, biting his lip to hold back the sobs that threatened to escape. The weight of everything—his feelings for Seokjin, the uncertainty of their future—was too much to bear.

"I… I don’t know how to deal with you anymore," the younger admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, his emotions raw and exposed.
"You're so confusing."

Seokjin’s heart ached for him, but he held his ground. "I know, Kookie. I was caught off guard, right?"

Jungkook shook his head slowly, his expression crumpling as the tears spilled over.
"I love you too, hyung—
I know you, you know that." His face contorted in anguish as the dam finally broke. He leaned into Seokjin, his head resting against the older man’s chest, and allowed the tears he’d been holding back to spill freely. Seokjin wrapped his arms around him, holding him close, and for the first time in what felt like forever, he could finally breathe again.

They stood like that for a long while, the silence between them no longer uncomfortable but comforting. It was as if the weight that had been pressing down on both of them had finally lifted, even if just for a moment.

When Jungkook finally pulled back, his face flushed and his eyes red from crying, he looked at Seokjin, his expression a mixture of apology and gratitude.
"Don’t do that again, hyung," he whispered, his voice shaky but sincere. "I’m not getting any younger. Please don’t be confused about this. If anything, I’d give myself to you, it would happen because I want that."

Seokjin shook his head, a gentle smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "Jungkook, I’m not confused. I’m just worried that you’ll regret it in the future. I also want it—so bad... it’s killing me more than you know."

Jungkook’s eyes softened, and he reached up to gently cup Seokjin’s face, his thumb brushing against the older man’s cheek. "Trust me, hyung. I know what I want. And I’m ready to risk everything for you."

They stood there for a few moments longer, the air between them filled with a quiet understanding. The tension had eased, and though they still had a long way to go, Seokjin felt a sense of hope blossoming in his chest. They were in this together now.

"Isn’t that what all that matters?" Seokjin said softly, his tone steady but filled with warmth and reassurance. "But for the meantime, until this whole situation is over.. We’ll take this one step at a time, this time, Kookie. Whatever it takes."

Jungkook nodded, a small, exhausted smile forming on his lips. "We will, just—please Hyung..  stay with me tonight"

Seokjin squeezed his shoulder, feeling the connection between them grow stronger, a bond that couldn’t be broken. "I won’t go anywhere, baby, I promise"

When the younger smiled, Seokjin leaned closer, and Jungkook closed the gap between them in a soft and gentle kiss. That was all they needed right now.