Unconditional

Important Author's Note

How do I start this Author's Note?

I'll guess I'll start by explaining my situation.

Well...

As some (mostly my older readers) of you know, I'm 17 and entering my senior year of high school.

Yay! Class of 2016 Unite!

Anyway, I'm sure many of you can relate to this, but as a high school student entering your senior year, the summer of your senior year is going to be your busiest. Now unlike most seniors, I'm a little late on just about... Ev-ver-ree-thing. And I don't mean deadlines, I mean in general.

1. I don't know how to drive
2. I have never had a job. Still don't have one.
3. I didn't start paying attention to my GPA until the beginning of Junior year (but surprisingly, I'm higher than more than half of my class, wtf?)
4. I have to make up a fucking MATH course!
5. I haven't really volunteered to many organizations, besides T.O.P and as a sports manager for my school's JV basketball team.
6. I haven't saved up for anything concerning college.

So, with all those things taken into account, I'm a bit stressed.

Sorry, 'bit' is a HUGE understatement.

I am stressed... and kind of depressed because of the mistakes I made. But, it's no one's fault but my own (sort of). It's just the way the cookie crumbles.

Now, on to why I have not been updating...

I've been job hunting... a lot. Like, I've applied to Walgreens, Wal-Mart, Target, Wendy's, fucking Starbucks, Journeys, Babies/Toys R Us, Dunkin Donuts, etc. I basically applied to a shit ton of places, I wasn't just listing those for fun.

And so far, Journeys seems alike my best bet out of all of these places. I actually have to go back to the store today to speak to the hiring manager.

I'm seriously praying he's not going to be a thundercunt because honestly, I'm so damn shy when I first meet people, like, it's not even funny.

But, I know that in the working environment, I'll have to overcome that shy shit eventually.

Anyway, not only have I been job hunting, but I've been college hunting. I've been searching for as many colleges as possible that would accept me with my GPA, SAT/ACT test scores, and the limited amount of volunteering that I've done.

I've been so engrossed in college hunting that I would spend HOURS on my tablet reading information on numerous colleges. I know I should've been doing all this college searching my junior year, but remember, I was not thinking about this stuff until recently.

In addition to college and job hunting, I've also been studying for my SAT/ACT.

TIP: If you were given an SAT fee waiver, please, please, please make sure you use the SAT Online Course that is given to you. I wasn't aware of this online course until after I took the SAT for the first time. I feel that if I did, I would've gotten a higher score.

So yeah, that's my life right now. College info, job hunting, studying for standardized tests, and barely anytime for writing.

I really do feel bad for not updating, trust me, I do. But when it comes to the priorities, I believe that doing what's better for me comes first.

I am not trying to sound self-centered but it's true. Think about you before you think about others.

I learned the hard way that I had to think about myself for myself. You know how some parents are very involved in their children's academics? My parents are not like that. At all. They've never asked me about my report cards, interims, or how I did on tests. They were never involved in my education so I never really cared about getting not so impressive grades. My mom never went to college and my dad dropped out during his Spring semester of freshman year, so I guess they never really saw college as important. They say that they want us to go to college but where is the moral support?

The first time I realized that my GPA was important was when I actually looked at it the summer of my Junior year. I had an F as my final grade for Algebra 2 and a 2.5 GPA. That day, I just... cried. I cried because I was so damn sad, knowing that I had to repeat that class. It even depresses me today when people talk about their 3.8 or 4.0 GPAs. All I could think is, 'I could've been in the top 15% or something if I would've just focused'. But I didn't and part of that is due to the lack of motivation and knowledge of how college admissions work.

Say what you want about how I shouldn't blame my parents, but I don't care. Parents/guardians are the first role models in a child's life, before Nicki Minaj or Miley Cyrus, or any celebrity for that matter.

______________

With that being said, I appreciate anyone who took the time to read this entire rant thing. As I said, I'm going through a lot so I would really appreciate it if you guys didn't pressure me into updating. I'm aware that I haven't updated in a while, there really is no need to consistently remind me.

An update for Blind Desires will be posted later today. As for the other stories, I started on the next chapters but I am not finished, or anywhere near, for that matter. So bear with me, please.

I'll be uploading this to all of my stories so that all of my readers are aware of my situation (in case some of you would be questioning it)

XOXO

~Kira