Ball and chain|| Sasusaku

Chapter 19

It's a hot summer morning. Sakura leans back in her seat, the hot air from the open window hitting her face. Watching the shops go by in a blur, muted colors mixing into each other, she lets her mind wander. For some reason, her heart feels heavy. Everything that transpired in the last two days leave her feeling disoriented. She has plenty to accept. Even more to question. An empty stomach doesn't help, but at least her mountain of thoughts is enough to keep her mind away from it.

Sakura has... mixed feelings. She knows she should be happy, and she is. Really. Sasuke stood by her over his own family, even his own mother, and very few people in her life have done that for her. That Sasuke is on her side, that he is one of her people, despite having no reason to be, is enough to give her steps a little jump. But she still feels unsure. She can't help but wonder: was he upset because his parents tried to use her as a replacement, or because they tried to replace Karin? The thought leaves a churn in her throat and a stab through her heart. The throbbing in her stomach has been signalling the impending start of her monthly cycle and the hormones add to her sour mood. Turning her head, she takes in Sasuke's profile, eyes skimming to find a trace, a hint, the faintest trail to put her mind to rest, but it makes her feel worse. A part of Sakura tells her she is the bad person for thinking of herself on the side opposite to his family. There is another which fills her with self-hatred over Sasuke standing up for her, over his mother. Mikoto looked confused and heartbroken. Sakura was disheartened by the revelation, yes, but had she wished to cause a rift in the family? She isn't sure. The satisfied part of her feels foreign and unnatural, as if trying to invade and pollute her.

"What's on your mind?" Sasuke's voice interrupts her thoughts. Despite him looking straight ahead, eyes focused on the road, she can sense all his attention on him and it makes her feel the tiniest bit ticklish. Restless, she shifts in her seat, crossing and uncrossing her legs, fully aware of which part of her will win. She hates it.

"You were too harsh on mother," she tells him softly.

Sasuke sighs, brows furrowing, taking a slow turn she knows doesn't lead anywhere near the hospital or the headquarters.

"Are you not upset, then?"

"I am," she admits, looking down on her lap before facing his side, "but I don't hate her."

Sasuke looks displeased, so she elaborates, "Sasuke, I'm not saying I will forgive them. But you can. And I think you should. Your mother seemed heartbroken, and to be honest, your family has been there for me in a way I didn't realize I needed. It felt like I had found something I didn't know I had lost." She takes hold of his shirt in her pinch as a last plea, making him peer into her eyes. "They make me happy."

Sasuke holds her stare, and she feels she can continue.

"We can eat with them at the very least."

The car comes to a stop after he finally breaks away from her hold. As he clicks open his car door, Sakura feels ashamed. Maybe he thinks she is a pushover. Maybe she came off too desperate. Her mind fuzzes and she wants to scream, cry, barely knowing why she feels like this when he pops his head in.

"Sweet or spicy?"

"Huh?" Sakura flinches, catching up a bit late. "...Sweet?"

"Got it." He takes a considerate pause, studying her. "Starting tomorrow, meals at home. Today, I'll take you to a good place for dinner."

When he leaves, Sakura finally feels like she can breathe. The haze in her mind lifts, and her heart feels lighter. For that, she hates herself a little more.