UNPREDICTABLE ✞

Maybe you were cut out for Candor, because you're a terrible liar.

It's been a full month. A whole month since we broke up. A whole month of pain. I have slowly healed, but my heart is just an empty hole. I went through different stages of the break up, the scariest part was when I never said a word to anyone, I refused to eat, and all I did was sleep. Since the break up with Newt, Rose and Four had broken up, I was currently staying with Minho at the time but when they broke up, me and Rose switched places so I was staying with Four. Their break up was cleaner than mine and I was envious, she said she could relate but how could she? she had nothing to compare to, their relationship was petty compared to mine and Newt's, we were inseparable. Where he went, I went. When I ate, he ate. When we both slept, it was together. 

To go from never being  on your own to having to be independent was a blow to the heart, I was void of any emotions for a while, like an undead zombie. At some point I kind of enjoyed that idea, being dead. Then I scolded myself, told myself how stupid and selfish that was, no matter what the Dauntless said about being a hero if people committed suicide, It's still selfish. My mother wouldn't be proud. 

So I changed the way I went about life, I started eating again, I actually got up, dressed and went about my jobs. I started exercising and socialising again. I was being human, when I saw Newt, I didn't go running off screaming which I would have done a while ago but now I just smiles and say a simple 'hello' before going about my business again. 

I was currently eating a slice of leftover Dauntless cake when the doors open and In walked Minho and a shy Rose, hands intertwined with each other. I gave them an encouraging smile and I continued eating. Four kept on staring at me over his plate of cake and after a while, I caught him and he turned scarlet red and looked away.

"Four? what's up?" I ask him.

"I-I forgot how pretty you were." He rushed out before placing his hands over his mouth like he regrets ever saying it. I smile at him as I noticed his gorgeous dark blue eyes widen, his hair sticking up since I had just woken him up after his long day in the maze with Minho. 

Four looked exhausted, and not just because he was running the maze day in and day out. We were both emotionally exhausted, Minho (without thinking about it) constantly bragging about Rose and how amazing she is and with me all I hear is 'Sorry to hear about you and Newt' or 'Sorry you and Newt didn't work out' or better yet, 'can I have a go at you next?' with the last one, I sent the Pansycake to Alby who set him on slopper duty for a week.

"Come on, let's get some sleep. We both need it." I tell him. He smiles weakly and in unison, we both stand and leave the room after waving Frypan goodbye. We walk to the homestead  with the calm warm breeze blowing through our hair, we make small talk and we were laughing in minutes. It feels like we were never apart, we were back in Dauntless or the Bureau together, happy. 

We settle ourselves into bed, we decided that we should share the bed since neither of us were practically thrilled at the thought of sleeping on the floor. I rest my head on his chest and I can hear his heart pounding. I fall asleep to the unsteady rhythm of his heart beat. I start to have a dream, or a memory. 

Me and Four we're sitting in a box, my back against his chest, the box was closing in on us and Four's heartbeat and breath as racing like the wild coyote after the roadrunner. I self consciously put his hand above my heart. He makes a comment on how my heart was nearly beating as fast as his and I simply reply with "Well, that has nothing to do with the box." I try to calm him down, I make a stupid joke that I inwardly cringe at. I try to get him to talk but he was focusing on slowing his heartbeat down.

"Okay. Then. . . I can talk. Ask me something."

"Okay." He laughs shakily in my ear. "Why Is your heart racing Tris?"

I cringe and say. "Well, I. . . I barely know you. I barely know you and I'm crammed up against you in a box, Four. What do you think?"

"Maybe you were cut out for Candor," he says. "because you're a terrible liar."

I wake up and coincidentally, so does Four. We both stare at each other in the darkness of the room, I can make out his silhouette and then, as I look more carefully, I can make out his full facial features. His eyes, his nose, his mouth. His soft and inviting lips that keep drawing me in. Before I realise what I'm doing, I find myself leaning towards him. He leans into and before we both knew it, we were kissing.

And It felt amazing.