| Chapter Four |

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Chapter Four - 7 years ago 

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Chapter Four - 7 years ago 

"They say, kids have big dreams, but what happens, if my dream had nothing to do with a job I wanted when I was older or a team that I wanted to play on in the future, but rather only wanting a hug from my mom? How is it, that you may never meet someone, but you miss them like they had been part of your entire life?"

Walking into the house, I knew that it would be empty. I knew that it would just me and my dad. It had been like that for years now, and I knew that nothing would change. I knew that there was no hope that my brothers would magically come back and want anything and everything to do with me. It had been 5 years since they had left, and I missed them just like I missed my mom. 

I had never met my mom, but Jack's mom was like my mom, if that made sense. If it wasn't her doting on me, than it was Beckett's mom, but I felt like I understood Jack's mom, as she did me, more than Beckett's mom did. Don't get me wrong, I loved them just as much, and I knew they loved me, but it didn't feel real. 

Nothing felt real, when I felt my body still, seeing my father waiting on the front porch steps. Seeing him sitting there, with a beer in hand, I felt all color drain from my face. This happened more and more regularly this year, for some reason. I think he had relapsed, but I wasn't quiet sure, as I had grown up with him being an alcoholic, so all the signs looked the same. 

He looked like an average dad from the outside, but only I knew the real him. Somedays, he would help me with my homework, but like I needed the help, or it was the time to time help around the yard, where he would mow and I would take the horses out. Other than that, he could be drinking his life away, and nobody would ever know that I had never had a father or a mother. 

I had never had a brother or a sister. I had nobody besides Jack and Beckett, and that was okay. I knew they had more people around them, and that was fine. Nothing mattered when it came to me, and that was fine. "Your late" my father murmured, and I knew, that in fact, I was not late. If anything, I was on time. No matter how many times my father would say that I was late, I was always on time, if not, a fraction early, as I had learnt my lesson as to not be late, ever.

This would feed into my later decisions in life, and I would never know how bad such treatment from my father could affect me in the future. "I need the house cleaned, from top to bottom" her father huffed, before he pushed her into the house, giving her leg a rough clamp of his hand before he let go. I shuttered at the action, before I dumped her bag and shoes in my room, before I was cleaning the house, just like my father had asked me to do so. 

---

"WHAT IS THIS?!" a voice roared, and I shuttered, almost dropping the mop that I was holding in my hand. I had no clue what the person was talking about, nor did I want to find out about it, any time soon. Even at the age of 10, tears still pricked at my eyes knowing the footsteps that were thundering down the hallway, just like my heart was rattling in the pit of my stomach, where it had dropped down to protect itself from what was about to happen. 

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