Hacked | Jaspar

~16~

••••CASPARS POV••••

I pulled Joe's hand off the keyboard and linked it with mine.

"Caspy, now I can't type." He whined. Joe has been on the computer for two hours, searching through Tumblr, Twitter, and YouTube. He has been replying to comments and tweeting and searching through his and my tags.

I, on the other hand, am just watching him, rarely opening my own laptop. I see what they are saying. I'm just choosing not to act on it.

It's not that I don't care what my fans are saying, I do, it's just that I am so happy with my life just being me and Joe right now, that I don't feel that it's necessary to drag people I have never met before into my relationship. Everything is going so well.

I'm listening to what Joe said; we are happy, so why should it matter what others think?

Why did he even say that if he isn't listening to himself? He's so wrapped up in his computer and all his fans right now that he isn't even paying attention to me!

Crap. I'm being jealous again. He's mine, and I'm his. And I'm happy.

I look at him. His eyes are locked in the bright screen, the white light being the only part of the room lighting up his face.

"Caspar?!" Joe was snapping his fingers in front of my face. I realized I had just zoned out thinking and staring at him. I also realized this was not the first time he called my name.

"Yeah?" I look at him again. This time, his eyes are focused on me, with a hint of concern in his voice when he said my name, and in his eyes.

"You just totally zoned out. You ok?"

"Yeah." I said again. Was that the only thing I was capable of saying at the moment? Seemed like it. "Just thinking."

My heart skipped a beat. I knew what came next.

"About what?"

Knew it.

How could I tell him I was jealous of the fans because he has been paying so much attention to them? I couldn't. He will think I'm so desperate. Like I said, I've never even met them, and nether has he.

But I had to tell him. We promised each other that we would tell the other boy our feelings and we could always trust them.

"Just thinking about us." Regret flooded through me instantly. That wasn't what I meant to say!

His eyes widened impossibly larger and he stared at me, face filled with concern.

I didn't mean it like that! "Joe, what I meant to say was..."

He kept staring at me, and it was so quiet I could hear his heavy breathing.

How do I say this without making things even worse? I know. And it will be the truth.

"Joe, I didn't mean that. Joe, I love you. And that's not going to change."

His face remained the same, but the heavy breathing slowed down and became calmer.

"I love you. What I was thinking about is... This is gonna sound really stupid but... I'm jealous of all the attention you have been giving our fans when I'm right here, sitting about one foot away from you. I'm wondering why you said, 'we are happy so why does it matter what others think?' to me when it's obvious you do care what they think. I just wish you would be happy with me without worrying about what people thought about us and our relationship. You only live once, right? Let's make it count. I'm sorry for being like this, Joe. I don't mean to be an attention whore."