Just let me sleep!

Chapter 12

Chapter 12 : Threads of Longing

Why do people keep on aggressively opening the door? Did the door do anything to them?

I raised my eyes.

A tall young man came to view. Exuding quiet confidence. His short midnight-black hair, carefully styled back, caught the light with a subtle gleam, enhancing its almost inky depth. His piercing blue eyes were striking, reminiscent of a calm yet powerful ocean, with a gaze that seemed to see right through to the one's soul. His build was almost impressive, with broad shoulders tapering to a strong, well-defined frame, evidence of discipline and physical dedication. His overall appearance balanced sharp sophistication with an undertone of rugged strength, making him approachable but still mysterious.

Or for shorter, Duke's son.

I wonder if he always looked at me like this.

His eyes were wide and his pupils trembling until they landed on me. He cleared his throat, as if it would help with his short breath. He stretched his fingers around his tie and slightly loosened it. Taking a step in, he moved his other hand to smooth his unruly strands back to the rest of his neat hair.

[ Did he run? ] I averted my gaze the moment he rose his.

" Theo." Duke's son's voice was soft, hesitant. It was strange to hear it like this, without the usual edge of mocking or disdain. It made my stomach twist.

My breath caught in my throat, but I didn't move. I didn't want to face him. Not yet. Not when so many questions weighed on my mind.

" What are you doing here? " The words escaped before I could stop them, sharp and bitter, just like the years of pain that haunted me till death in my previous life.

[ It's okay. I'm okay. ]

" Sir Trumane." I added as I made eye contact.

Alistair paused just inside the room, his figure framed by the doorway. His usual confident posture not existent anymore.

['Sir Trumane'?] Alistair repeated in his mind, but carried on.

" I heard from father.. " He paused, speaking in a weak voice. More fragile, as though he was second-guessing his every move.

"I ... I wanted to check on you." There was a long pause, and then Alistair took a tentative step forward as if the space between us might break at any moment. "Are you .. okay?"

My chest tightened. I could feel the weight of the question, the way it hung in the air, yet it felt so out of place coming from the man who had once made me feel small and worthless. The man who had cut me down with every word, every action, until nothing was left but bitter, empty silence.

" Don't. " The single word trembled from my lips, throat tight.

Alistair didn't react right away, but I could hear the shudder of breath he took, the sound too raw to ignore.

[ Don't pretend. You think you can just show up and act like you're what... concerned about me? You have no idea what it was like. ]

My heart hammered in my chest as my eyes locked with Alistair's.

[ Do you even remember what you did to me? What you put me through? ]

Alistair's expression twisted with worry. "The-"

" Don't say my name. " I spat, taking a step forward, closing the distance between us. My hands shook, but not from fear. No, it was something deeper. Rage. Pure, unfiltered rage.

[ You don't deserve to say my name. Not after everything. Everything you did! ]

A flinch, a visible wince passing over Alistair's features. It should've been satisfying, but it wasn't. It wasn't enough. It could never be enough to undo what had been done.

Don't let him see you break. That was the rule. But does it really matter now?

[ It's okay. Im okay. I'm okay. I'm okay!!!!] I took a sharp breath, eyes blazing before I bit down on my tongue to calm myself down.

" You." I called out, moving my gaze to the servant who was forgotten on the side. The servant flinched and deep down wished he hadn't come to work today.

" Take Sir Trumane out. I wish to rest." My voice came out sharper than I intended, guarded and cold. Well, not like I minded much. My fists clenched at my sides. I had no idea how long they were clenched, but small wounds were created on the palms. Not like the pain was important now.

I turned to face the silver bathed room.

The mere presence of the duke's son, the very man who had destroyed me in my past life, was enough to make my blood run cold.

Alistair's eyes widened, about to protest, outstretching his hand to reach out to me, but stopped the moment my cold eyes met his. For a moment, there was nothing but silence. Alistair's expression crumbled into something raw, something desperate before he averted his gaze. " It seems you are tired. " A voice too forced to be calm, came out from between Duke's son's lips.

" I will leave you to rest then. " Alistair's face twisted with a mix of concern and sorrow. His hand lowered, falling to his side as he stepped back, visibly shaken by the rawness in the small child's face.

_______________________________

The room felt suffocating, the air thick with tangled past. My chest rose and fell in shallow breaths, hands trembling with the weight of everything I was feeling. My ... Duke's son had done unspeakable things to me, and yet, here he was, changed, repentant, desperate?

Please. Spare me the dignity.

But I was not the same person anymore. I couldn't be.

" Enough of this already .. I've already died once, what more do you want from me .. I'm tired .. " My body sank to the floor.

A/N : Angsty Valentines 💌