saudade | s.j.

forty-two

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Y/N's POV

The ride back to my place is full of chatter. Rose sits snugly in her car seat, animatedly recounting her adventures in France.

"And Papa took me to see horses!" she exclaims, her words coming out in an excited jumble. "They were so big!"

I glance over at her, a warm and loving smiling adorns her face. "Did you like riding the horse?"

Rose nods vigorously. "Yes! But Papa says I'm too little to ride by myself."

"You'll get there one day," I assure her. "You're very brave."

Rose beams at the praise, and I can't help but grin. Her energy is infectious. I nudge Scarlett realizing she hasn't said a word this entire time. "Are you okay?" I whisper.

Scarlett nods and places a hand on my thigh.

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When we get to my apartment, Rose bounds inside like she's been here before. She immediately starts showing me her favorite toys, including an elaborate art set Romain had bought her.

"Y/N I'm sleepy," Rose declares, rubbing her ears, a clear indicator that she is ready for bed. "Do I have a room?"

Scarlett smiles as she leans against the doorframe of our room, watching us. "Just got off a nine hour flight and already making demands."

I pick Rose up and carry her over to a door on the opposite side of the living room. "You do have a room. Although it may need that Rose touch to it, to really make it yours."

The bedroom is smaller than mine but super cozy. The bed is pressed up to the windows with grey and cream bedding. The soft glow of fairy lights helps me get to the bed and lay Rose down. By the time I make it to the bed, Rose is fast asleep on my shoulder. I feel Scarlett behind me as I tuck Rose in.

"You're amazing with her," she says wrapping her arms around my waist.

I look at her, my expression softening. "Thank you. It...it feels natural."

Scarlett leans up kissing me, and then slowly exiting the room. I follow behind her, closing the door to Rose's room softly. I walk into my room quickly, closing the door. I want to ask Scar about why she was so upset leaving the airport. What happened with her and Romain. But before I can open my mouth, her lips smash into mine. Scarlett's kisses are rough and she pins me to the door, I hear the lock click as she pulls us away toward the bed. I fall backwards onto it and watch as she yanks her shirt off and pounces on me.

"Scar...Scar...where is this coming from?" I ask as she trails her tongue down my neck.

"I can't want to have sex with my girlfriend," she says sarcastically as she tugs at my shirt.

"You can...you can I just wanted to talk first." I sit up, holding onto her so she doesn't fall back. Scarlett huffs out in frustration, "Talk."

I roll my eyes at her attitude and continue, "What happened at the airport with you and Romain?"

She pushes me back down and bites my ear, "Nothing," she whispers.

Before she can start attacking my neck or lips again, I flip her over and pin her arms down.

"What happened?" I ask in a stern matter.

"Jesus nothing Y/N, damn you know how to ruin a mood don't you?" She pushes me off of her and storms off. I follow her to the closet where she is throwing her clothes into the hamper and getting ready to shower. I stand in the doorway between the closet and bathroom as she gets in the shower. A look of confusion is splattered across my face.

"Scar, I just want to make sure you okay. What did we talk about, we have to try, that includes the difficult stuff. I know it's not my place to be in your business with him because you've had this co-parenting thing down since before me, but I just want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm okay. I don't want to talk about it right now," she responds in defeat.

I nod and make my way into the bedroom. I lay down, waiting for Scarlett to come to bed. After what felt like an eternity she comes out of the bathroom in one of my t-shirts. Without saying a word, she walks over and lays right on top of me. I wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly as if she will float away if I let go.

"Romain...told me he still would like to rearrange are agreement on how much time we get with Rose. He will be stateside for a while and wants her to spend more time with him."

She covers her face and begins to cry.

"Hey, hey, hey...it'll be okay. Scar, it'll be okay. He just wants more time with his daughter. He has probably seen how much she's grown being with her this summer and doesn't want to miss it especially when he is in the same country as her." I try to reassure her but I'm not sure what to say.

"I'm just worried he's going to want to take her away. He's tried before."

I nod in understanding. Romain and I made up, but that doesn't make us friends. I don't know how I would handle him taking Rose away from us.

"He's not taking her. You all know how to make this work. You know Rose's homebase is with you. He's not taking our girl."

Scarlett begins to calm down, I wipe her eyes and continue to hold her until we fall asleep, the sounds of the city a lullaby for our slumber.

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Scarlett's POV

The sunlight streams into the kitchen the next morning as I finish setting up breakfast for Rose. She sits at the table, her small legs swinging back and forth, babbling about how excited she is to start school soon.

"Look, Mommy!" she says, holding up her plate proudly. "It's happy!" Rose made a smiley face on her pancake with blueberries.

I grin, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "It's perfect, sweetie. Just like you."

Rose giggles, but her attention quickly shifts as Y/N walks into the kitchen, still a little bleary-eyed from sleep. She's wearing a hoodie, which is too big on her and hangs down past her thighs. I can't help but smile.

"Good morning," Y/N says, her voice soft and warm.

"Good morning!" Rose chirps, waving her fork at her.

Y/N slides into the chair beside her, pretending to examine Rose's pancake. "Wow, you made that? That's a masterpiece."

Rose beams, her cheeks puffing out with pride. "Do you want one, Y/N? Mommy made extras!"

"I'd love one," Y/N says, looking at me with a small, grateful smile.

I move to the stove, my heart feeling inexplicably full as I plate another pancake for Y/N. This feels... normal. Easy. Like we're already a family.