saudade | s.j.

twenty-nine

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Y/N's POV

I miss her. I shouldn't have lashed out like that, but I didn't want her to see me in that state. She deserves better than the mess I've been.

It's now a week before Christmas, and the ache in my chest hasn't lessened. The only time I've seen Scarlett is when we've crossed paths on set, and even then, it's like we're strangers. She smiles politely, but her eyes tell me everything. She's hurting, and I'm the cause of it.

I've been doing better, though. Evans and Lizzie have been by my side almost every day, keeping me on track and out of my own head. Lizzie and Aubrey even got back together after I sat Aubrey down and explained-yet again-that there's nothing going on between Lizzie and me. Honestly, I missed having Aubrey around. She's hilarious and has this way of making the room feel lighter.

But no amount of laughter or support from my friends can fill the void Scarlett left.

I pace my apartment, the quiet driving me insane. My phone sits on the coffee table, taunting me. I pick it up, scrolling through old photos of Scarlett and me, the ones where her smile could light up a room and her laugh could drown out all my worries.

I can't take it anymore. Before I can talk myself out of it, I grab my keys and head for the door.

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Scarlett's POV

I'm trying to stay busy, but it's not working. The house is too quiet, too empty without Y/N.

The kids are asleep upstairs, and I'm sitting on the couch with a blanket draped over me, staring at the twinkling lights on the Christmas tree. Normally, this time of year fills me with so much joy. But now, it just feels... hollow.

I thought I was doing the right thing by giving Y/N space, but each day apart makes it harder to breathe. She's everywhere-in the smell of her cologne lingering on my scarf, in the half-finished puzzle we started weeks ago, and in the memory of her touch when she used to pull me close after a long day.

A soft knock at the door pulls me from my thoughts. My heart skips a beat.

When I open the door, there she is, looking as lost and tired as I feel.

"Y/N," I whisper.

"I'm sorry," she blurts out, her voice trembling.

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Y/N's POV

Her face crumbles the second she sees me, and it breaks my heart.

"I'm sorry," I say, stepping inside before I lose my nerve. "I've been a coward, Scarlett. I didn't want you to see me like that because I thought I was protecting you, but all I did was hurt you. And that's the last thing I ever wanted to do."

Her lip quivers as she closes the door behind me. "You didn't have to protect me, Y/N. You just had to let me in."

"I know," I say, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'm trying. I really am. But I don't know how to stop pushing you away when all I want is to be close to you."

Tears stream down her face as she steps closer. "Then stop running," she says softly.

And just like that, the walls I've been holding up crumble. I pull her into my arms, holding her like my life depends on it. Her hands clutch at my jacket, her sobs muffled against my chest.

"I love you, Scarlett," I whisper into her hair. "I'm going to keep fighting-for you, for us. Just... don't give up on me."

"I won't," she says, looking up at me with tear-streaked cheeks. "I love you too much to give up on us."

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Scarlett's POV

Hours later, after we've talked through tears and confessions, Y/N gets ready to leave.

"Stay," I say softly, not wanting the night to end.

She hesitates, her eyes full of regret. "I can't. Not yet. But I'll be back tomorrow, I promise."

I nod, forcing a smile. "Drive safe, okay?"

She kisses my forehead before stepping out into the cold night.

I watch her car disappear down the street before locking the door. My heart feels lighter, but there's still a lingering ache. I head upstairs to check on Rose, before I could open her door I hear my phone ring, but as I descend the stairs to grab my phone, a noise from the kitchen stops me in my tracks.

Frowning, I slowly head toward the sound, my hand gripping the banister.

"Hello?" I call out softly, my voice trembling.

The creak of a floorboard sends a jolt of fear through me. I lean forward to peer into the darkness, but my foot slips on the edge of the step.

The world tilts.

I tumble down the stairs, my head slamming against the hardwood floor. Pain explodes through me as I lie there, struggling to keep my eyes open. I feel liquid pooling around the lower half of my body.

The last thing I see is a shadowy figure rushing over me before everything fades to black.