𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 || 𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐰𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐬

chapter 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 - times like these

Having moved the entirety of their gear into another executive suite for a week, but now there was significantly less rooms for each of them to sleep in. Only five this time.

As everyone was getting acquainted with roommates and whatnot, Taylor was letting Emmalyn lay down in their room, having a nap as he sat at the kitchenette table hitting his sticks on the back of a cushion.

"Hawkins!" Dave emerges from one of the doors, being the only one to have his own room despite Rami's arguments. The man wasn't one to take advantage of his power, but Dave sure as hell wasn't sharing a bed with anyone other than a supermodel.

"Hey man!" Taylor tried to put on an enthusiastic tone but deep down he was exhausted. It had gotten to that point on tour where everything they did was mentally and physically taking its toll on him. Drained was one word to put it.

"Look I don't want to put a downer on anything but I got a call this morning from Silva," Taylor's eyes uttered Dave to continue, his pace not fast enough for Taylor's whirring brain to not find a worst case scenario, "We gotta head back to the US for a bit."

The last month had been an absolute dream for Taylor and he hated the idea that it was about to be ripped from underneath his feet. Cherishing every moment on stage as he shared it with the people he'd grown so close with over the past few months, especially that someone special.

The girl he'd been used to falling asleep next to and kissing her goodnight before they dozed off, then to wake up beside her the next morning wasn't going to be there. That was a routine Taylor didn't want to give up.

"What, why? There's still a 4 months left of this tour? We can't just back out?" Taylor's tone was immediately defensive, almost as though it were Dave's choice.

"Dude, I know," Dave replied, almost as mad as Taylor, "We gotta play Cali in two weeks, Silva signed us up months ago. And then we have the UK tour starting July."

"So we can come back in between?"

"Taylor, don't be naive. Chris and Pat have wives to spend time with, we gotta rest man," Dave's sympathetic hand rested on his band mates shoulder as he spoke, trying to soften the blow of his words.

"What's all the racket out here?" Emmalyn appeared from their door, wearing simply a bralette and Taylor's swimming trunks as her hair was arranged messily over her forehead showing she'd clearly just woken up.

"We have to leave, Linny."

. ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

It was now July and the days were longer than ever, especially without Emmalyn. Taylor's mind was constantly whirring and life was more of a bore than ever. They were in the UK now, well Scotland, and Taylor hadn't seen Emmalyn in two months.

Their goodbye was bitter and upsetting, Emmalyn's tear rolling onto Taylor's tongue as they kissed at the airport. "Come on, dude."

"Okay," Taylor said, to himself, Dave and Emmalyn as he pulled away, still cradling her sad face in his hands, "I really do like you Emmalyn. Like a lot."

"I love you Taylor."

"I love you too."

Time apart from Emmalyn had been weird, he felt sort of cold when she wasn't around; like she'd been a light Taylor had spent his whole life searching for and now that she was gone and the light was out, he was constantly cold and in the dark.

"You good man?" Dave asked Taylor as they walked off stage after playing their 3 hour set at Tunes in the Park. Scotland was cold and gloomy at this time of year, like Seattle, Dave had said.

"Yeah, I'm gonna head out tonight I think," Taylor set down his chipped drumsticks as Dave followed him into a dressing room.

Taylor's skin was red hot and soaked in fresh sweat but inside he felt freezing cold. Perhaps it was the mixture of winter air and exasperated lungs, or the fact that he was desperately in need of something he was without. And in Taylor's mind that was either Emmalyn... or something worse.

"I thought we were staying in tonight," The man's expression confused as he consulted his drummer who was clearly spaced out as he removed his damp socks and threw on new ones, "We went out last night and you were well beyond shit-faced T. What's going on?"

"A couple of the guys from Type O Negative are heading out and wanted me to come," Taylor's words were clear but quiet, his eyes dilated as they constantly moved between being blurry enough that Taylor couldn't tell his hands from his socks, to being too clear that he saw things differently.

Dave recognised the glint in his eyes immediately. The one that he'd spent so motherfucking hard to get rid of as Taylor's life spiralled down the wrong path. He knew what was going on and he didn't want to face it again.

"Are you on drugs again, Taylor?"

"So fucking what if I am? Life's too short Grohl."

"And it'll get even shorter; it you keep going on like this..." Dave sighed, knowing he was too far gone this time.

      ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ . ♫⋆｡♪ ₊˚♬ﾟ.

"What's up, Grohl?" Emmalyn asked, picking up the phone as she lay under the sweet Spanish sunlight, soaking some colour into her painfully pale skin and life.

Times had been tough for her too, but not so much that it affected her day to day movements: going out for drinks with her band, settling back down into their tour routine and planning fun days out when they return back to their now, shared-home state.

The time she had spent with Taylor, she's sort of fallen into an ethereal state where she was no longer part of her regular routine but sort of constantly having an out-of-body experience when she was around him.

He was like a narcotic to her, however Emmalyn was able to control herself when without him. She was about to find out that Taylor was unable to restrain himself as well as she could though.

"I'm okay, just checking in to see if you've heard from Taylor recently?" Dave sighed as Emmalyn could hear his body crash into some piece of furniture, his breath relaxing as he fell against the backrest.

"Uh not for a couple of days, why? Has he gone rogue or something?" Emmalyn laughed, her mood reflecting the beautiful weather around her as she finally felt freedom from her burdened life.

It was the 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 where Emmalyn and the band were having a few days off, feeling like they'd escaped to a new country just to settle back down once again, and lying there in a bikini under the scorching hot sun, she definitely was starting to feel the benefits of some distance from home.

"He's using again, Linny."

Her stomach dropped.