Obsessively yours

Chapter 18| The slipped mask

NITYA

We're sitting at the dining table, while I'm still bearing with the aftershocks of what I just realized.

She knew.

And she said nothing... why?

I'm her daughter, what about what I went through?

If only my mother had helped me if only, she had got me through it all, if only... Maybe then I wouldn't have gone through what I actually did.

Maybe then everything wouldn't had felt so... fake.

I wouldn't have been so, fake.

I wouldn't have led my life thinking what'll happen if they knew that they'll feel disgusted, that was just a child's thought until I grew up and I couldn't just say it anymore.

She was my mother; she should've helped me. And now I see it she tried, she tried her best to do so without me knowing she asked me several times, maybe she wanted me to tell her but, if she'd just given even the slightest hint that she knew then everything would've been so much more... bearable.

18 years, I acted as if I'm fine when I'm everything but.

18 years of thinking I'm alone and suddenly one day I wake up and know that the people I was faking myself for knew it, they knew every single thing but never said anything to me about it.

And now I think that maybe the child, me, was right after all.

They were disgusted of me, weren't they?

They felt ashamed, didn't they?

I wish I could tell her that I failed her that everything, everbody we worked for knew, they all fucking knew I thought I was the one lying but they were the ones being the imposters.

"Chiya?" I flinch at my name being called.

"Hmm?"

"You okay bacha? Did something happen?" and then I realized that I was being zoned out that the layer of self-faking was chipping off.

Once I realized my surrounding, I see that my father and my brother are glaring at abhimaan while he's trying to soothingly touch me to bring me back to reality.

That while everyone is seeing him, he's seeing just me. while, i was in the state of shock, he was the one, conversing and making everybody think everythings fine. he understands me, respects me, my feeling;  loves me, so much that i dont think ive ever felt this loved before from anyone except my parents.

he loves me enough to kill a man for me, and i love him enough to live for him.

match made in somewhere between heaven and hell no?

but why does he love me? i mean- i dont have anything to be loved maybe i'm pretty but thats not enough for a man like him to choose me so why? is it just cause of our past? the promise? why does he even want me?! i have nothing!

Everyone has been faking to me while he's been everything but, he's been my everything since the very start and it just took me now to realize it.

And then he whispers to me,

"Tiya, baby, are you okay? Should we leave?"

And my eyes are filled with unshed tears thinking how much does love me that while everyone was busy being the imposter, he was the only one being real to me.

he was the only one knowing the real me, oh how i love him.

"No, I'm okay" I say while looking at him.

But something sets him off as he stands up and says

"we're leaving" I too stand up shocked, he knew something was off, again my eyes filled up with tears.

"But why-" my mother asks,

"No, woh kahi nhi jayengi" my brother interrupts his face contorted with anger, obviously cause of his presence. 

"woh jayengi, aur hum kisi aur ke muh se kuch nhi sunenge, rani sa ko yaha acha nhi lag rha hai, hum jaa rhe hain"

(she will and I won't hear anything from anyone, rani sa is not feeling good here, we are leaving.)

"Abhimaan-" my father proceeds to say, anger clear on his face but I interrupt him before he says anything.

"Papa, its fine I really do wanna leave" he looks at me resigned and with that abhimaan takes me away.

. . .

ABHIMAAN

I bring cherry inside my house, and just as we enter my mother's worried gaze washes over me and her,

"Nitya? Beta, are you okay?" my cherry still lost in her thoughts, which I know are regarding her mother knowing, how I wish I could read her mind.

"Yes aunty" she said with a slight forced smile,

She's in pain, mental pain, and right now all I need is- her, to speak.

"Don't call me-"

"Maa, abhi nhi" that's all I say before I pick cherry up, and walk towards my room.

Once we're inside I settle her down on the bed and go off to close the door, she follows behind me.

Once I lock the door and turn around, she...

Hugs me.

Her sudden action leaves me flustered for a second, then I hug her back. Patting and running my hand over her head with my one hand while the other holds her close.

Then I hear sniffling sounds coming from her, and I immediately go into panic mode.

What happened?

Did I say something? What did I do wrong? Is it about what I told her earlier?

"Cherry, bacha? Whats wrong? Aap ro kyu rahin hain?" I have no control over my emotions right now

"Why do you want me!?" she says while crying.

"Look at me" "I said look at me nitya"

She does and then I tell her,

"aapse pyaar krte hain hum aur aapka humara bachpan ka sapna pura kr rhe hain"

(i love you and i am making yours and mine,  childhood dream to come true)

"Toh ab bilkul shant ho jaiye aur bataiye ki kya hua hai?"

(so now totally calm down and tell me whats wrong)

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soo hey guys how're you sorry chapter thoda late ho gya but this week double update pkka next chapter is week ke sunday ko aayega so stay tuned and make sure to vote and comment your thoughts. jaldi jaldi okki?

chalooooo byeeeeee guysss

i love yaaaaaaaaaaaa