Charred //ZUTARA

Chapter 53 - Pain and the Promise.

Chan remained silent for a long time afterward. She couldn't bear to look him in the eye, afraid to find the pity that she didn't want; didn't need. So she continued washing her body until it was red.

Katara refused to think about what happened tonight any longer. She'd just push it down the well within her as she always did, and she'd burrow in it later. If there would ever be an appropriate time.

Deciding she spent more than enough time in the lake, she took one last breath, looked to the Moon and then emerged from the water.

With a sad smile on her face, she dressed up quickly. Chan didn't as much as flinch through it all, standing guard like he promised he would.

Katara was ready to go. To go back to the suffocating cave and her friends in it. But the Captain remained standing solid as a rock.

Her brows furrowed. ''We can go back now, you know?''

The firebender slowly turned. She swallowed hard, but she found no pity in his eyes. She must've really lost her mind because what she saw there was close to... admiration.

But his face slowly dropped.

''Do you want to talk about it?''

His hands on her hips, digging into her skin, his movements painfully sliding into her very soul.

She took a step back. Her hand shook.

Could she talk about it? The horrible things he's done to her body against her wish? The very things she once enjoyed with Zuko? Spirits, it seemed like a lifetime ago.

''Not yet,'' was all she managed to say.

Chan merely nodded, his expression grave. He offered up his arm to her but she shook her head violently.

''I'm not ready,'' she tried explaining, willing her voice to sound strong. ''To be touched, that is.''

''Understood,'' the Captain exhaled. He looked away and then back to her. ''But I need to know what you want to do next. What's the plan?''

Katara burst into laughter.

The sound sent a shiver through him. Spirits, perhaps she really did lose her mind. She couldn't seem to stop laughing. Clenching her stomach, she leaned forward, tears pressing at her eyes.

''Katara, what is going on right now?'' Chan asked terrified. He walked closer which sent her on alert, causing her sudden outburst to end.

The painful smile remained on her lips though. She exposed her hands to him. ''He's the Avatar, Chan. There is no plan.''

For she could really do nothing against him. She was powerless. Katara couldn't explain it to him though without revealing how scared and hurt she really was now. So she maintained the eye contact, hoping he'd understand. That he wouldn't pressure her to do anything. That know that nobody would believe them; that there was nothing they could do.

Spirits, no one would ever think to punish the Avatar after all he'd done for the world.

It took a moment but she watched as Chan's jaw unclenched and a perfect portrayal of devastation presented itself upon his face.

It seemed both of their hearts sunk deeply.

''Then let me at least be there for you,'' he hesitated and did not approach her, like she wished. But his hand stretched between them. ''Whatever you need, whenever you're ready to talk or do something about it, I'll be there. Once you're ready, I'll hold you in my arms and I'll let you cry all those tears you're fighting back now. And then, when the time comes, we will punish the Avatar.''