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"You think you're different to me, don't you?" I tilt my head, staring at each other's lips.
Without breaking eye contact, he slowly stands, making him in control with the advantage in height. I'm the one looking up at him now.
"And you...
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There are things that happen in everyone's lives that changes them. Most of the time it happens in their childhood and sure, there are things that build up inside of a child that then releases into their teenage years but what if you just absorbed all of that trauma and bottled it up for so long? What happens then?
You either change yourself because you know your future self would hate who you would become if you remained average, or you let it take over your entire life and become the product of that trauma.
My mother and I are examples of both of those things that happen.
"Anna, I'm so close to convincing you, I can feel it. Just hear me out." My mothers usual look of complete perfection reflects in the sunlight as we step into the house.
In a way, I hate it how she remains to look beautiful while being exhausted. I know I'm the main reason for the exhaustion part but sometimes I feel like I have to be to knock some scene into her.
There's a reason for everything I do and everything I feel. Could it have to do with what I witnessed as a child? Possibly. Could it have something to do with my so called "daddy issues"? A therapist would tell you so. But I say I'm the way I am because I can read a room and I have the confidence to trust my instincts and follow through with just that feeling.
I don't need anyone or anything else. Im all I can trust.
"Your dad- he called me and he apologized to me, I know I said I wouldn't ever hear him out or forgive him and I'm not saying I am. I just-" She pops a hip and leans on the kitchen counter as she blows a strand of hair away from her face.
"Stop. There may be something seriously psychologically wrong with you." My hands move when I speak, I can't take her bullshit any more.
Ever since that other day at the mall as soon as I arrived home, she sat me down to speak nonsense. She's been trying to convince me to agree to go to this Spain trip with dad and Giselle. She must be insane. Nothing she says could convince me. I rather die and I mean it with every fiber in my body.
"Anna!" She yells my name in surprise at me.
"Do I have to remind you what this man did? It seems like I do." My voice starts to rise.
At any mention about my father, I have no control over my anger and what happens afterwards.
"I understand. Why must you always act like we're all against you? He hurt me too and I'm not letting him into our lives so easily but Joseph says that forgiveness is the first step in moving on from the past and Joseph-"
