Song of the Britannia Seas (1D fanfic Parody)

The Vampire Goldfish Lestat

"You can stay here," I tell Niall, leading him into the flat above Saucy Boy's.

Niall takes in his surroundings quietly.

"Do you want anything to eat?" I ask. "There's not much food here since no one normally stays here, but I could go get you something."

I see him watching the fish in the bowl. 

"That's Lestat," I inform, eyeing the large goldfish. "Louis and Zayn have joint custody of him," I joke. "We were at a carnival and Zayn won it but Louis paid, so they both claimed it theirs. Be careful with that one. He bites." 

"A goldfish that bites?"

I pause. "He takes after Zayn in that matter," I smile. "He accidentally turned it into a vampire."

We look at each other and laugh. Poor Niall probably doesn't realize I'm dead serious. His smile makes his face light up. 

"Would you like me to fill up the bath for you?"

"Bath?"

"There's a bed too, but I figured you like being in water."

He nods. "I'd like that. I'm dry as beached seaweed."

I laugh, pushing his wheelchair into the bathroom.

I sit on the rim of the tub and turn the water on. I put my hand under it, the water beads cascading over my fingers.

"How do you like your water temperature? Warm or cold?"

"You can control it?"

I chuckle. "Of course."

"Humans have more magic than I'd ever realized," he remarks in amazement.

I smile.

"So what is the event I got you out of anyway? You never told me," I say, as I help him in the bath.

He looks at his tail sheepishly. "Well... let's just say, if I ever show my face under the sea again, my father will roast me with his trident."

"Trident?" I look at him.

"My father is Neptune."

"I forgot you're a prince."

He smiles shyly. "Unfortunately."

"Unfortunately?"

"Being the 86th of 87 children doesn't exactly get you much recognition. All I am to my father is a throwaway child."

"What do you mean by that?"

"My only purpose to him is to marry Princess Anala of Ishlantia so our kingdoms will be united."

"So that's what you were running away from?"

He nods gravely. "I just... I don't fancy marrying a stranger. I've met her once a few days ago, and she seemed nice enough... but I just... didn't feel anything for her. I don't want to be bound with someone I don't love for the rest of my life."

"I'm sure I'd feel the same."

"She's just... well, I guess you could say she's not my type."