I Would {A Harry Styles and Niall Horan Fan-Fic} (Completed!)

Chapter 13

Harry and I ended up talking the whole time. It wasn’t because we felt guilty – in fact, I felt better than I had ever felt before – but because we knew so little about each other. I learned that he loved chick flicks, idolized the Beatles, and that his parents divorced when he was young. When he said that, I looked away, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. I didn’t want to talk about divorce, or anything that involved parents at all.

Harry noticed my discomfort.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, leaning in and taking my face in his hands.

“Nothing,” I said, forcing a smile. “I want to hear more about you.”

Harry watched me for a second before saying, “I want to hear about you. I know so little about you. I mean, I’ve seen interviews of you, but you’re so mysterious. It’s like you hide yourself behind this mask.”

I tried very hard not to cry then. Harry had no idea how hard I tried to keep up my façade. I never let my persona go in interviews. When asked why I became an actress, I always said the traditional response of an actress: “I act to inspire people,” or “I want to contribute to the world.” When asked about my past, I always smile and say I was a normal teenager before I discovered my acting skills and tried out for Castle in the Clouds. I never let anyone into my life, not even Niall. Adrian knew a little bit, but I kept him at a distance as well. I didn’t trust anyone.

I shrugged and tried to smile.

“What is there to know?” I asked, half-joking, half-serious. “I’m nineteen, I’m an unemployed actress, I’m dating Niall Horan….” I stopped there when I said that. I didn’t mean to say it, but I was so used to saying those exact lines to reporters.

Harry barely flinched.

“I mean, your past. You never reveal anything about yourself,” he said. “There’s so much more to you when I get to know you, but I don’t understand you and why you do the things you do. You’re so hard to understand. I want to understand you.”

I lost it then. I started crying, giant, heaving sobs that made me look so attractive. I buried my face in Harry’s arms and wrapped my arms around him tight.

“Sh…it’s okay Lisa…what’s wrong?” he asked softly. He was so caring towards me. I wondered if I started crying in front of Niall what he would do. Would he hug me back like Harry would? Would he stroke my hair like Harry would? Would he whisper that it was all going to be okay like Harry would? Somewhere in the back of my mind, I doubted it.

“I try so hard,” I sobbed. “And I’m sick of holding back all my feelings and my past! But I can’t talk about it! It hurts too much.”

Harry hugged me tighter and stroked my hair. He was so soft and gentle, and I knew he was trying hard, but it only made me cry more.

Harry let go and looked me in the eyes.

“Tell me your favorite song,” he demanded.

“What?” I asked, stunned. It was so random, and I didn’t think it related to the topic at all.

“Your favorite song usually relates to your life. It’ll be the window into your life, and then maybe it’ll be easier for you to talk about it,” he said.

I smiled. I actually liked the idea. Though I didn’t think my favorite song related to my life at all.

“My favorite song…” I trailed. “My favorite song is…Sukiyaki.”

Harry gave me a funny look.

“I’ve never heard of that song before,” he said, frowning lightly.

“Um…it’s Japanese,” I stuttered. “From 1963. It’s…it’s a pretty song. But it’s really sad…or at least the translation is.”

Harry smiled softly.

“Can I hear it?” he asked.

I nodded and picked up my phone and went to music. I selected “Sukiyaki” and pressed play.

“Ue o muite arukou…Namida ga kobore naiyouni….Omoidasu harunohi…Hitoribotchi no yoru…” the song began. We listened to the entire song silently, without saying anything between us.

When the song finished, Harry looked at me and smiled.

“That was so beautiful,” he said, smiling softly, dreamily. “I love it. What’s it about?”

“It’s about a boy who’s in love with this girl, and he’s taking a walk after she’s just told him goodbye. He’s remembering all the good times he had with her, but he realizes he’s alone, so he looks up at the sky and whistles so the tears won’t fall down,” I said. “It’s so sad.”

Harry processed this.

“It’s bittersweet,” he concluded finally. “The song, the melody, and the lyrics. It’s like goodbye, but remembering that at least something happened.”

I nodded. I had always thought the same, but never on such a deep level before.

“How does this relate to your life?” he asked softly.

I shrugged and laughed sadly.

“It doesn’t,” I said, but as soon as I said it, I knew I was lying.

I turned to Harry, and he leaned in and whispered in my ear, “It’s alright, you can tell me.”

I leaned back, looked at the window, and began to tell my tale.

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Hey everyone! If you want to check out the song Annalise talks about, I'll put it on the side...sort of like a trailer. Sorry for such a short part, but I needed a sort of transition phase.

Love ya'll

~HungryHungryHippoC