inner core

chapter 10

Dedicated to AJMonjr for all the votes!!!!!

Jace pov***

My wrists were tingling. I look at them. I see the scars that remind me that I need to cut. I have been clean for a whole week. No cuts. Josh lay beside me on the bed. Lips parted slightly. I smirked and slowly slipped out of bed. I went to the bathroom and locked the door.

I found my razor and cut 6 slits on each wrist.

Ahh.

The pain showed and I relished it. Hot blood bubbles up to the surface.

I heard something in the other room. I quickly bandaged myself and covered the bandage with a long sleve shirt.

And ran out.

I bumped into josh whiched caused pain to jump through my arm like a tidal wave.

"Oh sorry.......do I smell blood?" He asked his brows furrowed.

Oh shit.

"Uh ya. I picked myself while shaving." I say. And pointed to my chin.

Josh laughed. "You didn't have hair in the first place." He laughed.

"Hmf yes I did." I said stomping my feet in mock anger. I shot up my eyebrow.

"Well...whatever you say. I have to use the bathroom." He says and brushes past me.
Once the door shuts I sigh. I run downstairs to start making pancakes. I get down the pan and a bowl then the mix. I measure mix and start to pour the stuff onto a pan when a voice says, "What is this?" I jump and splash a little mix on me.

"Dammit! Josh DONT scare me like that I almost spilt all the batter. Ask me later." I say not even looking up. Whatever it is can wait.

"No......what is THIS?" He growled the last word. "Oh my gawd! Josh it can wait-......
........oh........"
Josh is standing there holding my blood covered razor. I remember leaving it on the counter on a accedent.

Shit. Busted. Ok a good lie.....um......

"That is the razor I got my chin with." I lie.

He raised his eyebrow.
"Oh really then why is it covered in blood?" He asked.

"I accedently cut harder than I thought." I say.

"Show me your wrists." Be says and my heart stops........I need a good excuse why not to do that.

"No. I don't have to. I don't like for people to ask to see my feet or wrists" I say.

He points at my feet. "I can see them."

"Well stop looking."

"Now."

"No."

"Did you just say 'No' to your alpha?"

"Did you just say 'Now' to your Luna?"

He sighed and walked up to me. "I didnt want to do this but I guess I have to." He said, walking to me. I back up and put my wrists behind me."do what?" I ask him. A little scared. He picked me up and ran up stairs.

He puts me up against a wall and leans in and says, "I'm going to have to.....tie you up..." He said.

(Semi-smut WARNING)

"I'm going to have to..... tie you up..." He said. Leaning next to my ear were his hand traveled down to my little friend.

I shoved my hands behind my back.

He looked me directly in the eye. "We cannot have sex yet but I can still tease you." He said and pressed his lips to mine. I melted against that kiss. His hand came back up and cupped my face.

His tounge grazed my lip but I defied. So his hand went around me and sqezzed my ass. Holding it up. I gasped. And he took advantage and swirled his tounge around mine.

(A/n: I am just going to let you know these smutt scenes are hard to write because I have friends who read my books, and I am over here a blushing mess trying to type the word dick so give me some credit. I am only writing a smutt scene because I had someone 'you know who you are' ask me to.)

His hands lifted me up and pined me to the wall. He wrapped my legs around him and started grinding on me. My already hard on was getting longer.

We moaned into each others mouth. He turned and put me on the bed.

Then crawled on top of me. He looked me into the eyes.

"Let the torture begin." He whispered making me shiver. He smirked and started to kiss me. Down the jaw to the neck kiss, nip, suck over and over. He found my sweet spot and I moaned. He smiled into my neck.

Then started killing me. Not litteraly but its what it felt like. He started to suck and nibble that spot. I moaned. I picked my hip up to his and we moaned.

He lifted up my shirt a little. He started to kiss down my chest. He had free range to my chest. He licked my abbs.
Then went lower and started to nuzzle my boner. I moaned.

He pulled back and kissed me again. He kissed me and pulled up my sleeves. When he saw the bandage he pulled frowned.

I instantly pulled my arm away. He looked at me.

I need more time. Just a little and the cuts may be healed.I have to distract him.

I leaned up and kissed him. At least 5 more minutes.

I look him deep in the eyes. He tried to grab my arms but I jumped off the bed and ran out of the room.

I hid in the living room under the couch. I see joshes feet come into the room. He walks around and comes to the couch his feet disappear.

I look around. Then I am being dragged out from under the couch. He pulls me up.

"Enough Games Show Me Your Wrist....NOW!!!" He yells.

I wimper. That is the first time he yelled at me. He has never yelled at me.

I cower away from him as he grabs my arms and jerks the bandage off. My wrists are clear as can be. No marks. They healed.

"I AM TAKING ALL OF YOUR RAZORS YOU ARE NOT TO CUT AGAIN!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!?!?!?!?!?" He screamed in my face.

I nodded and he let go of me and went to my bedroom.
A tear escapes my eye. He yelled at me. My mate yells at me. He screamed in my face. I was terrified. He scared me. He was supposed to love me yet he screamed at me.

He hates me. He hates me. He hates me. I am worthless. I am a selfharmer. I don't deserve him. he deserves better. I should kill myself. Then he can move on and find someone better. Yes that is what I will do.

I quickly run out of the house while he is in the bathroom taking my razors. I run and run. finally I see the waterfall. I walk over to it. Goodbye my love. I will always love you.

I turn around and jump off backwards.

Water surrounds me. I fall deeper and deeper. Time ticks away. My lungs burn. They feel like they are caving in. My last thought is......I love you josh. You will find better.

Then the darkness envelopes me.

-----------------
OMG SO SAD!!!! HE TRIED TO KILL HIMSELF.....WHY JACE WHY?!?!?! Alas all characters come to a end.
Love all of you who are reading this far. Also I love you for voting and commenting. Whoever did I virtually pat you on the back!!!!
Love all of you.