inner core

chapter 3

  Jace pov***

      I was nervous....what was going to happen tonight... Caitlin walked through the door. I nodded to her. 'We need a plan.' I told her.

She nodded. 'OK I know that but I'm stuck there is no way we can shift without them knowing it's us.' She replied. I stare at her in shock. She just gave me an idea.

     It will be the only thing that could work. It's their chance.'when they tell us to change we will say we are self-conscious. They will let us go change and we will meet in the hall. Don't speak while in wolf form.' I tell her.

Of course not every siblings talk to each other in their heads but hey, who said that werewolf family's are normal?.......she nods and walks out.

         I feel great. Well nervous and afraid and happy.....why do I feel happy?

     Oh well. I hope this works.
I grab some clothes and run to the shower. I stand ln the shower and let the warm water wash over me.

Oh god josh.... He so....mmm......no you can't think of him like that. He don't even like you. Hell he didn't know your middle name... He wants your sister....after tonight if the plan doesn't work he will only want your wolf.......my life sucks, I thought to myself.

     I have to take my mind off of him. I try and find something to distract my self.....then I see my sisters razor.....I got out dried out and did everything else. Then I got my phone and looked up cutting. If I was going to do this I wanted to make sure it works.

      I looked up what is cutting yourself. I know what it is I just figured that it would explain how you feel.

"Cutting yourself is something many people would never think of doing, and yet for others, self-injury in the form of cutting may be something they do on a regular basis. Cutting is also known as one type of self-harm, self-injury or self-mutilation."

     Well then. It's basically a escape. Exactly what I need.
I need a escape from my thoughts.

A escape from my town.

A escape from my life.

          I go back to the bathroom. I lock the door. And get a paper towel.

I'm not sure how deep you cut though.fuck it. I grab the stupid razor and make 4 cuts on my wrist.

Ow.

The pain destracts me ......hmmmm I like this.

I make two more. Sweet peace. I had to make them small so when we change,if we do, they won't see them. They won't make us change I know it. That is a violation of our privacy. To strip to change you don't want to have to show your stuff in front of the entire pack.

       I shouldn't gat so worked up about it. We are going to go eat and then we are talking, and leaving. That is all that will happen. We are just going to meet the rest of the pack that's all.

      Then I notice that my blood is going everywhere. I grab the towel and wet it. Then cover my wrist. I hear someone nock on my door. I cover my body up exept my head and yell "come in!" Isaac walked in.

"Oh god you are about to go into heat. I hope that don't happen while we are at the alpha's! His son will jump your bones! I saw the way you guys stared at each other in the car. Anyways so how are you holding up with everything?" He says.

I'm not...well all you need is a razor....I think. But I couldn't tell anyone what I'm doing. They would think I was disgracing the family.

"I don't there is no way of dealing with it. I'm not sure how you guys manage. When I go in public all the guys in the area are carrying a boner  and its.....ya" I tell him he looks shocked.

      "What do you mean?" He asks. I look at him like he's dumb. "Me being the white wolf, it means that every guy wants to mate me...but I don't want a mate. I want to be happy. The only reason that they will want to be my mate is because of my wolf. Not me." I say saddly.

My brother hugs me. "That's not true. And you know it." He says. But I know that he's only saying that because he is my brother.

     I nod anyway. "Boys!we have to go ! We don't want to be late..." My mom shouts. Here we go we are going to the alphas. We're we may or may not be coming back.

      Here goes nothing.....