See You Soon

Butterflies

Shai's POV
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As me and Ansel drive to training facility, I feel a sudden pain and emptiness in my stomach. I think it could be from the accident, but it's been 2 months, and the doctor said I've fully recovered since then. Ansel's hand lays above mine and begins to tighten. " You  okay?", he asks concerned. " What? Oh , yeah. Fine.", I lie, and cover up my frown with a fake and weak smile.
When we arrive, the first person I see waiting for us is Theo. I step out of the car hesitantly and slowly make my way towards Theo. Ansel's hand makes its way to mine but leaves when Veronica calls him over to her, so I walk to Theo alone. He greets me with a strong warm hug and the stomach pains return stronger than before. " Hey Shai.", Theo says leaving a sweet grin on his stubble face. " Hey Theo.", I say with a crack in my voice. "You okay? You don't sound very good.", he says holding my Jaw. "Uh yeah yeah, fine. Thank you for asking.", I say removing his hand off my face and just holding it in a friendly manner. "I don't know why but I feel like it's my job to watch out for you.", he says with his brows furrowed but a small smile. I remember that look. It was the same face he made when we first kissed in Divergent. It wasn't acting. To both of us it felt real, but never bothered to continue that feeling after the movie. "Huh well  at least my guardian Angel is British.", I say nudging his shoulder. He smiles intently, and I feel a hand on my shoulder. Ansel. "Hey Theo!", Ansel says with an excited face. "Hey kid.", he says pulling him into a friendly hug. They begin to conversate, and I feel the pain begin to worsen.

When Ansel and I finally go home and go to bed, we give up at the door and just collapse on the couch in the living room, I lay above Ansel and our stomachs touch, exhaling when I inhale. The perfect pace. As I dream I think of Theo. I think of his words to me today. His embrace. His eyes and how they smile. His warm lips. I dream of us leaning into a kiss in a small winter's meadow. It feels wrong. I step away only to see Theo's body replaced with Ansel's, and he has a hurt face filled with tears. No. No. I wake up with the stomach pain stronger than ever before. Ansel tried to calm me down and gave me warm milk, but none of his efforts helped. Now I know... These pains aren't from the accident, they were the pain of my guilt. I had feelings for Theo, and although not even close enough to how I feel about Ansel, they were still feelings and clearly effected me . It's not healthy.

I massage my stomach and Ansel races over to me with a scared look on his face. "ARE YOU OKAY?!?", he says holding me. "Yeah yeah just butterflies. Just a little nervous for shooting soon. That's it.", I say kissing forehead. His face relaxes, and he holds my face firmly and says " If your stomach pains are just butterflies I get that, I have them too, especially whenever I'm around you, cause I always feel as though I'm never good enough for you, but If these pains are from the accident I need to know so I can help you, okay ?" I begin to cry knowing I've only told him part of the truth. "I really do love you, you know that right?", I say kissing him. "Kinda figured, and just so you know, I still have butterflies every time  I look at y-..", I cut him off and kiss him. We walk to the bedroom and hold each other, and occasionally talk about life in general, but mainly stay quiet and hold one another.