Psychopath. (bwwm) ✓

19. emptiness and thanksgiving break.

(Emerson // because people forget what she looks like//; Goner by Twenty One Pilots)

FREQUENT UPDATES ARE KINDA FUN, TBH

| 19. | emptiness and thanksgiving break

I never did talk to Oliver about us engaging in not-so-friendly activities but in my defense, he didn't bring it up either.

It was around a week and a half into November and we'd been getting closer and closer. After a brief suspension he had for punching Ceaser (who begged Oliver to hit him, saying that he felt way too guilty) in the face on school grounds, Oliver and I had been pretty cool.

And by cool, I mean completely confused. We hadn't really kissed since that night and God, his lips were driving me insane.

"I uh- I have to go, Emerson," he'd muttered as we sat in the park one hazy afternoon after school. The same black car from the first time we'd hung out was parked in front of his house. I never asked who it was but I had my suspicion.

My gaze traveled to his eyes from his perfectly shaped lips that I hadn't realized I'd been staring at. He hadn't worn his lip ring since the first time I'd patched him up after a fight. He said the hole closed up and he was too lazy to reopen it but I knew it was because he got in too many fights. He didn't want to be in that much pain because he got punched in the lip ring again, "What? You just got here?"

We were planning to spend the day eating gummy bears and catching up on American Horror Story -which I made a Tate and Oliver comparison because come on, I just had to- but once again that black car had ruined it. I found myself looking over a it's tinted windows as if trying to dissect why he'd been spending so much time leaving me for whoever or whatever was inside.

I was really starting to hate that car.

"I know," he gave me a peck on the cheek, eyes lingering on my lips for a little before he averted his gaze. Clearing his throat, he looked down and then back at me with a hesitant close-lipped smile, "I'm sorry but I have to go."

I rolled my eyes at that as he stood, reaching a hand out and pulling me up, him wrapping the black blanket around my shoulders.

Oliver's hands had stayed on my arms a little longer than expected... Looking up, I caught him staring yet again at my lips, "Drive safe," I couldn't get my voice above a whisper and I internally cursed myself for my weakness.

And before I could kiss him, he released me, stepping back. I'd have thought that I'd misinterpreted but with the way he was looking at me and the obvious way his Adam's apple bobbed when I leaned in had anything to say about it...

I blinked, not used to rejection with Oliver, "Oh."

"Sorry... I didn't- yeah, sorry..." He'd closed his eyes tightly, dropping his hands to his sides and shoving them in their assigned pockets, "I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

And when he opened his eyes, mine were on the ground, a new self-consciousness eating me alive. I wasn't used to being embarrassed and to be so obviously rejected by Oliver Remmer -a guy who had no problem making out a couple weeks ago- fuck, that stung.

I nodded, "yeah, I'll see you then."

And I hadn't lifted my gaze until his footsteps retreated; the sound of a car engine starting up brought me back to reality.

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"Are you coming to the airport with us to get Jan?" I'd asked Jacky a couple days later. The day had finally arrived, I'd be reunited with my best friend and everything would fall into place again... No Phoenix, no Luca, no psycho-boys who only kiss you when it's convenient.