Healing Sophie (18+) - RH//DDLG

47 - Fruit Loops & Calculus

Finn stared blankly at the ceiling, wishing a giant black hole would absorb him. He couldn't place the feeling coursing through him. Perhaps it was the lack of feeling. When Chase and him had lost the competition, he was disappointed, but he felt confident that he could get his mojo back. It had been a week though, and he wasn't quite sure what to do with himself. Chase at least had school still. Finn just felt directionless. It felt like every door he tried to enter was bolted shut. Did anyone else feel this way?

He sighed and got up, not interested in spending all day moping on the couch. It was easy to throw a whole day away, thinking about his future or his dad. Grieving for his father came in waves and felt very odd to him. He didn't know him all that well, but he would sometimes encounter things throughout his day that sparked a memory, like meals they shared together or seeing a dad shopping with his son.

Everyone was either at school or work for the day, which Finn didn't entirely mind. He didn't want any of them seeing him in the state he was in. He had always been abl to rely on his confidence to get by, but it felt like it had abandoned him completely. Being home alone at least gave him time to sort through his thoughts before everyone came home.

He poured himself a bowl of cereal and plopped down at the dining table. He had always hated sweets, but Sophie rubbed off on him quite a bit over the years. He admittedly loved sugary, unnaturally-colored cereal.

"Hey."

Finn jumped and turned to see Victor coming down the stairs. "You scared the shit out of me."

Victor chuckled, adjusting the sleeves on his shirt. "Sorry." He glanced down at Finn's cereal and smirked.

"What?," Finn snapped, scowling at the man before him.

"Just funny seeing a gothic, tattooed man eating a bowl of fruit loops."

Finn rolled his eyes. "I prefer the term spooky, as Sophie puts it."

Victor chuckled and poured his own bowl, sitting at the table. The two of them were silent for a moment, as Finn continued to absentmindedly poke at his cereal with his spoon.

"I'm sorry about your contest with Chase."

Finn tensed and cleared his throat. "It's fine. Life goes on."

Victor's hazel eyes bored into Finn and he nearly squirmed at the intensity. "You're a damn liar." Before Finn could argue, he continued. "I was a depressed, angry bartender for years. I know the signs of a self-loathing person."

"I'm not self-loathing," Finn muttered, swirling the fruit loops around. "Just lost."

He immediately regretted the vulnerability of the words as they came out and was about to backtrack when Victor replied. "I understand." He paused, considering his words. He was careful and calculated, much like Finn himself. "I think you and I are quite similar. I think we both tend to try to control the things around us, because when we feel like we can't control anything, it feels like we're spiraling."

Finn could do nothing but blink and nod as Victor peered into the core of his very existence. "I think you're a bit better than I." Victor stared at him. "You never stop fighting. I don't know if I have it in me to fight as hard as you do."

"You fought for Sophie." That he did. He would do it again a thousand times. Victor stood and placed his bowl in the sink. "You're wrong, you know."

Finn raised a brow. "How?"

Victor's eyes dimmed. "I almost did stop fighting."

"Why didn't you?"

"Someone needed my help." Victor eyed Finn, watching his every move. "Now I've realized a lot of people may need my help. I have a higher purpose than being an alcoholic bartender and underground boxer. I can actually make a difference."