Anonymous writings

Emotional rage- I mean range.

Sometimes I just need to shut up.
Not speak or share
Because I often say things that aren't really there.
Forgetting that talking to some does nothing but blow up.

The things I say only come out wrong;
And saying nothing seems to mean I have no care.
If it had to describe it I'd say I feel like a radio station playing the same sad song,
Knowing not from where, how or why, just that sadness is in the air.

Wishing to express, I only make a mess
Ending up ashamed as if I've failed some kind of test.
Feeling even more afraid to puff out my chest and continue on my quest.

-That of realizing deep down It's not the present event but old trapped ones trying to make me mad.
Although bubbly once faded a tad
I can acknowledge it wasn't me but a younger one who was sad.

Sad because they held onto the illusion that no matter how much good tries, there's always going to be an event someplace where someone or something goes bad.
Not knowing that was some fake publicity ad.
Shoved in my head by a bunch of people who had rocky relationships with mom or dad.

Shutting up and sitting with myself is better than crashing out and being mean.
Most times after I've spit nonsense I see I'm not mad about the situation just sad that we're still here;
In the same place, as that same kid afraid to be seen.
Sometimes I need to slow down and see that my anger and sadness is simply a mask trying to protect me from feeling and facing fear.