(Short Chapter and FINAL CHAPTER).
"Lord, remove the pain, that I do not have the strength to remove myself."
—
I grabbed a rubber band that sat upon our woodened dresser, surfacing it around the bun that I had prepared to sit at the top of my head. My body was covered in a solid black, fitted dress, that was appropriate for where I was headed.
Mama came out of the bathroom, holding a set of pearl earrings and a necklace that matched.
I had been checking in on her ever since I found her sitting upon the bench in the lobby, expressing emotions like I had never seen her express. Emotions that seemed real, and not emotions that seemed to be a sign of her use of drugs.
"Please don't be late." I begged, as she placed the jewlrey on me.
"I promise I won't be late, Jay." She should know, by now, just how much I cared for Mr. Swisher. "If seeing Mr. Swisher in that casket becomes too much fa' you, I will be there. You hear me?"
Lately, Mama had been acting in weird ways, but I had to admit, I kinda believed her this time.
An intermittent horn beeped continuously, as I stationed my caramel toned feet into my black flats. I grabbed my blazer from our closet, and just before I opened the front door, I reminded Mama. "Ma, forreal. Please try and make it there on time. The funeral starts at 11am. We have to be at the cemetery by 1:30pm."
"Okay, I will be there," She placed a kiss upon my forehead. "Kim is waiting on you, girl."
I passed through the lobby and walked outside, then enter Kim's car. Her naturally curly hair was hanging down her back, resting on her shoulders. Just like me, she had been wearing a black fitted dress but with black pumps instead, a collection of Coco Chanel's.
She greeted me as I placed my rear end on the seat and greeted her in return.
We started to discuss how hard it might be for the both of us to let someone so near and dear to our hearts go.
"So, will your Mama be there?" I asked. I felt it was an appropriate thing to consider. After all, she was his wife. Infact, it was never mentioned that they got a divorce, so maybe they were still married. Maybe just not together.
"They hadn't seen each other in years." Kim responded. "She told me she'd be here for me, but I doubt she'll show up to the church."
"Why not?" I was curious
Kim looked as if she searched for a response. "You know. She---"
But, I stopped her from finishing her sentence. "Never let go, huh?"
Kim didn't even answer, instead she sighed. She knew I was right. I guessed I'd have to walk in her mother's shoes to understand why she probably wouldn't have been apart of Mr. Swisher's funeral, but the least she could do was show some respect. Somewhere along the line, they were madly in love and had a family together.
We arrived at our destination, but before we entered through the double, glass doors, Kim stopped me and asked, "Ready?"
Reluctanct at first, I shook my head up and down, replying yes.
..............
Watching Mr. Swisher die a few nights ago was the hardest thing I had ever done. And, sitting there in that church, being apart of his homegoing celebration was just as hard. But, Kim said something that touched me, a bit. She said that sometimes we hold onto to things that God is just trying to pull us apart from.
