From Darkness Comes - Book 2 in the Ash and Ember Series

Deja Vu

I don't bother to return to my dwelling. Aero tells me that he doesn't think it's safe and there's nothing that I want there anyway. It never truly felt like home.

At the dock I'm surprised to see many familiar faces, all of whom will be returnring with me. Rona is there, but noticably missing is the guard who helpd us escape. I never got to thank him. I don't even know his name.

I smile when I see Constantine and give her a big hug. Coven waits near the entrance talking with the soldier who helped me escape from Earth. The one Aveline arranged to aid us in our escape. The one who was Captain Ryden's right-hand-man. I search my brain for his name. Sutter. My thoughts immediately go to the images of that day, when Kelly kissed me and pushed me onto the ship.

"You again?" I say, as I make my way towards Sutter and Coven.

"We gotta stop meeting like this," Sutter jests.

I smile, until I notice Captain Ryden approaching.

"Well, Ever. Here we are again. I have to say, you pleasantly surprised me."

"Don't use that word. I hate that word."

"Well, none-the-less you did. That doesn't happen often."

"That you're pleasant or that you're surprised?"

She smirks.

"Yes, well," she says ignorng my comment. "I saved a seat for you on the bridge should you want to join us. I figured your...expertise couldn't hurt," she says sarcastically, referring to our eventful landing just four months ago.

I almost feel happy for a moment, until I see Kelly ambling towards the ship. He smiles and waves but his body is rigid and tense. I know what he's come to do. The rest of the group senses our need for privacy and disperses.

Here we stand. Again. Kelly putting me on a spaceship and saying goodbye. Only this time it's on our own terms. And this time, it's for good.

"This is goodbye, isn't it?" I say once he's standing in front of me.

He sighs.

"Feels like deja vu," he replies.

I nod.

"Only I won't be there when you arrive this time."

"I know."

"Aero has asked me to stay. He thinks I can help the cause, and I do too. I think it's best if I don't go back to..." he pauses. "I think it's the right decision to stay. I see things clearly now."

I think back to that night when he almost died and I gave into the feelings that were consuming and confusing me. It was different with Kelly than Wyler, and I think he felt it too. But it was what we both needed in that moment and I'll never regret it. I know he doesn't either.

I want to inquire as to what Aero has asked him to do. I overheard Aero speaking about sending a mission to another planet, to look for a better place to live. But it doesn't matter where Kelly will be. It won't change the fact that I'll never see him again.

"As long as I'm around you I'll always be hoping that there's a chance that we can be together, the way we used to be. I'd rather never see you again then spend a lifetime watching you be with someone else. I know that probably sounds selfish but..." he trails off.

"It doesn't sound selfish." I think back to those torturous years where I had to watch Wyler with Lex, how much easier it would have been if I just hadn't been around them. "It makes total sense actually."

Silence fills the space. He holds his hand up to my face, and places it on my cheek. I lean into his palm and close my eyes momentarily, trying to hold back tears. Kelly and I have different paths in this life. They seem to always run parallel but never fully intersect. It's not that he wasn't enough. Sometimes you can't find everything you want in one person. Sometimes you just have to decide who has the most of what you need. And sometimes the brain can't reason with what the heart wants.