-Jack's POV-
Becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning to control your fear. And how to be free from it.
I set "Divergent" down on my bed in front of me. The quote has been stuck in my mind for the past twenty or so minutes. I guess I just don't get it. How can you be free from your fear if your not fearless. I jut don't understand. I decide I need fresh air.
As I'm walking around outside I see Miley sitting on a chair near the pool. Do I go sit by her or leave her alone? Well... At least I know what would be in my fear landscape. Talking to pretty girls. I shudder from the thought and walk back to my hotel room. This morning I called Wyatt. He was my best friend before I moved to Idaho. We talked about my predicament: Miley is pretty, and she seems to like talking to me but...I guess I'm worried for when she leaves. I don't want to start liking her only for her to leave. I told him about my crush on Tara David. She was in a couple of my classes and we talked sometimes. Wyatt told me to go for Tara. But I don't know what's right. It's not like I know either of them really well. I can't even talk to girls...
"DINNER!!!" My mom yells loud enough for all of Amsterdam to hear. We all sit up while my mom passed us chicken sandwiches.
"Hey Jennifer" I decide to ask her what she thinks about Tara.
"Hmm" She replies, obviously all of her attention is on her food.
"Do you remember Tara?" I ask.
That got her attention. It also got Miley's attention I notice. Weird.
"Um" she clears her throat. "Yeah. Yeah I do. Why?"
"I was just thinking. I'm seventeen and I've never really dated anyone. I was thinking when we get back to Idaho I should ask her out."
Jennifer almost chokes on her food. She stares at me white her mouth wide open.
"What!? Why are you looking at me like I stole your food?"
"I just-I don't know. I mean, are you sure? You barely know Tara."
"Yeah-but this will give me a chance to get to know he better. Right?" Maybe bringing this up wasn't such a great idea.
Jennifer and Miley exchange looks. They both look confused. Though I have absolutely no idea why.
"Sure...yeah...I guess you could do that." She mumbles.
"Okay...well thanks for your...um, help."
I'm in my room trying to read when I hear singing. I creep down the hallway towards the singing. It's coming from Miley's room. I push the door open just a crack. I see Miley sitting on her bed writing in what seems to be a journal. She's singing to "Out of the Woods" by Taylor Swift. I knock on the door. Wait what!?! Why did I do that!?
She opens the door. At first she seems surprised but then she smiles and says, "Hey Jack."
I smile back. But I'm at a loss for words. I don't know what to say. "How are you doing?" I ask. Okay...doing okay so far.
"I'm doing better. I think I'm coming back to reality. You know, jumpy realizing that I can't change what has happened." She stops talking to think. "I'll admit, I was scared. Wait no, I'm still scared. I guess it dawned on me that I'm not fearless."
Fearless.
There it is again. That word. That word that I still don't understand the meaning of.
"I'm glad your doing better, I was worried."
She grins. "Thanks Jack." Her grin turns into a frown.
"What-what's wrong?"
"So...you and this girl, Tara. Are you two good friends?" Her expression is guarded.
Miley's couldn't be jealous, could she?
"We've talked a little bit over time. I just feel like i should date. Being seventeen and all. Have you ever been in a relationship? I ask, suddenly regretting it. Of course she has! Look at her, she's gorgeous.
She scrunches eyebrows together. After a minute she replies. "No. Not an actual relationship. I've never had a boyfriend."
"Oh." Is all I can say. "I'm sorry for bothering you. I just wanted to make sure your okay."
She smiles at me before saying goodnight. I return her smile and walk back to my room.
When I opened the door to my room, I see Jennifer sitting on my bed.
"Jennifer what are you doi-" I start.
"What's your deal?" She interrupts.
"Uh...What?"
"Your such an idiot sometimes! Are you trying to make Miley jealous or are you just being rude?" Jennifer demands. And now I am more confused than ever. Making Miley Jealous? Why would I ever do that?
"What are you TALKING ABOUT?" I start yelling because she's not being very specific about what I did wrong and it's making me very mad.
"TARA! Why did you bring her up at dinner? Do you seriously want to ask her out or were you just making Miley jealous?"
I calm down a little. "I was not trying to cause problems. I just want to go out with somebody and I guess I like Miley but she's gonna leave. I don't want to have to stop liking her when she's gone."
"Oh." Jennifer looks down, embarrassed.
"I shouldn't have brought up Tara. But...does Miley...um have a crush on me?"
Jennifer looks up and smiles. "Maybe you should ask her." Then she leaves.
I lay down on my bed. I start thinking about what it means to be fearless.
Fearless is not the absence of fear.
Jennifer really likes that quote.
Being fearless isn't the point-because that's impossible.
Hmmm okay....
I walk out of my room to go find Miley.
YOU ARE READING
Rough Shores (heaven on Earth sequel)
Non-FictionMiley's mom is dead and Miley is going to find out who did it. It was no accident and she knows it. She thinks she has a lead but is it a dead end? The little piece of evidence she has is a symbol of the U.S. Government. But why would someone from h...
