Disclaimer: All things Twilight belongs to SM; I don’t own, I just wish that I do. Thanks for reading and reviewing. J
BPOV
I literally felt the blood being drained from my face as soon as the words left Edward’s mouth. I considered pretending that I haven’t heard him; but I knew it’s a lost cause. I knew that we need to have this talk sooner or later. It just turned out that it would be sooner.
I glanced at Edward, and I grimaced at the determined look on his face. He was staring at me intently, and if the situation would’ve been different, I would’ve blushed. I hesitantly took a seat on the couch were he was also seated, and waited for the storm to begin.
He cleared his throat, forcing me to stop playing with the hem of my shirt and look up at him.
“Bella…about what happened this morning…” He began. There was this look on his face that I couldn’t understand and I immediately felt my heart sink. Of course, he regrets it. Why wouldn’t he? After all, I’m just his friend, a bandage of some sort who happened to be there to cover up his scar. It was stupid of me to think that he likes me even just a tiny bit. So what if he asked me to be his pretend girlfriend? So what if I spent Thanksgiving with him and his family? So what if he let me sleep on his bed? After all, all of those were just part of our charade.
And it was stupid of me to believe, for even just one second, that this – whatever this is - could be real.
Suddenly, Edward’s finger was on my chin, coaxing me to meet his gaze that I refused to meet.
“Hey.” He whispered, his green orbs searching mine, “was it that bad?”
“What?”
“The er, kiss. Was it that bad? You look… disappointed.” Edward said sheepishly; and I might have prevented my eyeballs from dislodging from my sockets. Seriously, this boy was giving me a whiplash.
“N-no.” I stuttered. Where was this conversation headed?
He smirked at me then, and I have to stop the girlish giggle that was about to erupt from me. And then, as soon as the smirk grazed his face, it was gone just as quick. His smirk was now replaced by the look of determination.
“Bella, I…” He started, and then tried again. “I… about the…” He seemed to want to say something, but it was as if he was having a hard time saying it. He cleared his throat again, and I would be a liar if I said he wasn’t cute when he’s all worked up. He ran his fingers through his hair, and then, he moved closer to me.
“Edward, about that.. I’m sorry…I didn’t mean-- ” But I was unable to finish what I was about to say because suddenly, his lips were on mine. If I had thought that our brief kiss this morning was heavenly, this kiss was a whole lot better. His lips were soft against mine; the kiss sweet yet passionate at the same time. He cupped my face in his hand, pulling me closer to him, and I immediately molded against him. It was like we were two puzzle pieces. I threw my hands on his neck, tugging at his hair in an attempt to get him closer to me. I didn’t know how long we stayed like that, locked in each other’s embrace. It would’ve been an hour or just mere seconds and I wouldn’t know the difference.
Suddenly, oxygen was a necessity, and as much as I hated to end our kiss, I don’t want to die from lack of oxygen, too. Even though my lips had left his, his lips never left my skin. He continued kissing my cheeks, my jaw, my temple… sweetly and adoringly. Once he was sure I got my much-needed oxygen, he captured my lips with his again.
When we finally pulled away, he still held me close to his body. I admit, I was on cloud nine; who wouldn’t be? The kiss made me forget that nagging feeling I felt, but once it ended, it was back again. The insecurity, the guilt, the fear, all of them making their presence known to me once again. There was an internal battle deep inside me – between the part of the me, the selfish part of me that who wanted to be with Edward and never wanted for this to end, and the part of me, the rational part of me that begged to be heard – raging, consuming, bringing me to the edge.
