I don't Love you anymore by Rithvik singh

Last part

What terrifies me is the possibility of feeling so deeply for someone once again that I'm physically incapable of not talking to them or reaching out to them despite knowing things are over. I don't want to feel the kind of love that ends with me trying to cope with a seemingly endless autumn that I've almost died coping with before.

I hate how now whenever someone tells me that they love me, I tell them that they don't. I've started considering the words I love you as something people say to each other way too often without being certain if they're going to stay with each other.

When there's too much sadness inside you, you try to go back to the source of your sadness because they were once your happiest place. Please don't go back to them. Reaching out to them will only water your sadness; it won't make it wither away. Sometimes the person who used to be your happy place doesn't want you to be happy anymore, and you can't do anything about it other than slowly learning how to be happy alone.

You've kept hundreds of books, movie cassettes, old perfume bottles, and thousands of photographs. There's room for so many things, but no space for me. You're capable of so much love, but you still choose not to love me.

I'd cry in front of you, and you'd hug me, so I'd stop.

If you cared about me enough to hug me,

why didn't you care enough to stop hurting me?

When someone asks me what I am most afraid of, it's not the things that have never happened, but the ones that I'm scared will happen again. Like my father not being nice to us. My relatives telling me all those things I wouldn't say to someone, even if they broke my heart. Being loved and left again. Crying silently-head buried in my pillow, so nobody would figure out I'm in pain. I'm not scared of the unfamiliar, but of the things that have happened too many times to me to ever get over them.

The intimacy of lying in bed together and doing nothing. There's music playing on the laptop, but we couldn't care less. Your head rests in their arms as if it's the only place it was meant to be. You realize you've not felt this safe since you were little. You realize this is all you've ever wanted the comfort of being held by someone who you know won't hurt you.

I love the questions that begin with, 'Remember when'.

Remember when we were too drunk to even walk straight? Remember when I called you at 3 a.m. to ask about how you make your special noodles? Remember when we stayed up all night trying to find a movie but ended up rewatching episodes from our favorite sitcoms all over again?

Such questions are proof that someone remembers us. That the memories we create with some people mean just as much to them as they mean to us. That they also cherish the bond we share.

Girls like you deserve picnic dates and kisses in dusty libraries. Books wrapped in old newspapers with handmade bookmarks inside them. You deserve little flowers in your hair and a lot of hope in your heart. Long walks on silent streets. Dancing in the rain after the world has fallen asleep. 'Good morning messages and random I miss you' texts. Girls like you deserve love that turns you into the sky after rain. Don't settle for anything less.

Boys like you deserve flowers and soft kisses on your cheeks. Handwritten notes and snapshots on your refrigerator. Coffee that's a little too sweet and pancakes with extra maple syrup. You deserve love in its softest form- someone who holds your hand on busy streets, hugs you on nights when you cannot sleep, and tells you you're going to be all right when life gets too overwhelming. Boys like you deserve love that feels like sunshine. Don't settle for anything less.

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I hope you guys enjoyed this book....