Malicious // h.s. [Editing]

Chapter 21

Brace yourselves.

*Not edited yet*

Darien's POV

I stood there, completely stunned. I was frozen in place with my eyes wide open, my lips parted in shock. I couldn't believe what Harry had just said, and I was almost positive I was only hearing things. I tried my hardest to get the moment to replay, just to make sure this really happened. I couldn't comprehend the moment, I thought that I was just imagining things.

"W-wh.. What?" I finally managed to mutter that one simple words, stud serving and hesitating as I did.

Harry's face held almost just as much shock as mine. His eyes were wide and his hand was in his hair, seemingly surprised in himself for blurting that out. It made me realize that he hadn't meant to admit it.

"I'm uh.." He cleared his throat, blinking his eyes before focusing on me again. "I'm in love with you, Darien. Is that what you wanted to hear?" He raised his voice to match his previous tone.

I still couldn't grasp the fact. My breathing was accelerating as each second past and he still hadn't assured me he was joking. I was expecting him to blurt out into laughter and double over in hysteria, trying to catch his breath as he told me it was all a punk. That scene never happened, though, and as more time went on, I became aware that it wasn't going to.

"I just.. It's just that I-" My words got caught in my throat and I struggled to form a sentence. "I don't understand," I confessed, letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"I don't either." He shook his head with a heavy sigh, running his hands over his face.

"How could- how could you say that you love me?" I voiced my confusion. It didn't make sense that he could love me when he had done everything he had.

"Because I do! I do love you!" He threw his hands up, looking at me with what seemed to be anger on his face.

"But you.. I'm sorry for doubting this, but you have to understand why I would have a hard time believing you, let alone understanding how, or-or why," I said quietly. Harry nodded, looking away from me.

"I don't know how, or why. All that I know is that I do. I didn't want to, I didn't mean to.. it just-it just happened. I wasn't going to tell you. I was going to keep it to myself and push my feelings aside and get over them. I just got so angry with you yelling at me that I spit it out!" He rushed, beginning to pace in front of me.

"How can you love me after everything that has happened? After everything you have done to me and the people that I love, how can you stand there and tell me you love me?" I was still completely stunned, hardly able to move. I needed to grasp the concept of Harry being in love with me, but it seemed next to impossible.

I didn't know why, or how, or even when this all began to happen. It was hard to imagine Harry ever feeling that way about me, especially after all that he had put me through, but somehow I knew I believed him. I could hear it in his words and see it in his actions as he began to crumble in front of me. His voice was laced with fear, anger, and determination. I knew he was being honest, I just couldn't figure out why.

Another thing I was certain about was that I didn't reciprocate his feelings. I knew that I didn't feel them for him in return; I just simply couldn't. I got confused sometimes to the point where I would start telling myself that I was feeling something for him, but I knew that it was only my own way of finding comfort. I didn't love harry, I couldn't have. He was my kidnapper, a murderer, and he had so many problems with himself that they were beginning to rub off on me. I couldn't be in love with him.