Impossible - May's variant

2nd Chapter : May

After my mom finally got ready were just on our way to my school. I don't think I ever were that excited! I could hear my mom's voice speaking, but her words doesn't made any sense to me. All I could hear were senseless words and again my heart beating faster and faster.

Suddenly the car stopped and I could feel a warm hand on my knee. "It will be okay, don't worry." "What if-", "No if's, but's and or's now. I bet you will walk in and throw they all away with a big cargo of pure self confiedence.", my mom said. I know she just tried to give me courage. But no word is more unknown for me than courage and self confidence. I'm such a loser in this things.

I looked out of the car window, at all these people. 'Jenna! now, calm yourself, get your shit together and go in this fucking school!', I thought to myself and tried to believe that I could go through this day without being awkward, 'it can't be that hard, huh? It won't be better if you sit here and don't dare to come out! Move your legs and get out before someone notice' I can't even tell how hard it was to me to get out, but of course, I had to. It wouldn't get better if I sit thre for another 10 minutes.

Before I could look at my mom a last time, she already drove away as fastly as she could from my point of view. But I can understand, it could happen that I could just ran back, sit in the car and scream "BACK HOME MOTHER I'M SICK!" As I sometimes did at my last school, but no bad thoughts about it. I couldn't wait til I get into this school, into my class.

But wait, what do I have first? History? Oh my, please no! I ever hated history. It was really so boring like seriously. 'Ugh, what a good start!', I thought while I was going down the hallway. Suddenly, I could feel a very skinny hand on my shoulder.

 

"Hello, my name is May and I'm new on this school. Could you tell me how to get to the history class?", she said with a wide smile on her face and little sparks in her deep blue eyes. She was really skinny. You could think she's anorexic, but let's don't judge. Apart of this, she seemed really nice and a lot more self confident  than I ever was and probably ever will be. Also, she was very beautiful. As already mentioned, deep blue eyes, long wavy blond hair and all in all just a very pretty face. She wore some pastel pink toms, a cute skirt and a top with little flowers on it. All over, she was very girly and pretty and seemed very nice at the same time. "Hello?"

"Oh sorry, uhm so yeah... I don't know either. I'm new too and searching the history cla-" - "so that means we could go searching for it together right?", what a charisma, "uh right"

"So you don't talk a lot hm?", she asked me. Am I a glasshouse or why she already knew this? Oh yes, the 2 minutes conversation...

"No not really. I rather think because sometimes I'm really afraid to hurt people with my thoughts. If I'd say everything I think some people would cry and hate themselfes...", and I know this damn feel.

"haha really? That sounds kinda weird, mind me talking? I talk a lot! I'm sometimes afraid that people will just be like 'ugh go away'. Already happened... But oh well, why are you here? You have a british accent, not from here right?"

"Right I'm from Manchester. My mom and I moved here before the holidays started, like 2 months ago."

"And why did you if you don't mind asking?" Fuck. I can't tell her, I don't even know her last name. Well, what about 'I do mind. Please don't ask this oky?''

"Well, there are a lot of reason I don't really want to talk about sorry.. Sorry, sometimes I'm weird."

"It's okay, I like weird people. I'm too, but maybe in a other way than you huh?"

"Yeah, I think we should ask someone where's our class" - "Maybe, but who? Most here are new on this school too. The new year started what do you expect?" Well, when I think about it, yes. No one really seems to know anyone. Well, that's good. So there probably won't be some groups to judge the "newbies".

"Uhm well I don't know... Maybe a teacher?" - "Instresting. Very intelligent to think about looking for someone in a crowd like this", this question was a way too stupid. In this hallway are a felt million people! It's impossible to find someone important. Hopefully, it isn't everyday like this. I don't think I'd survive lunch. I'll probably will be like May's little sister for the next 2 weeks anyway. She's the only one I know, and maybe the only one who'd ever talk to me.

"I never said I am intelligent okay? You have any better ideas?", she seemed a bit annoyed from that question... Like a lot of people called her stupid before.

"No, not really good ones. Sorry", I said while looking at the floor and some pretty and not pretty shoes. "Bad ones are better than no ones, and why sorry you hadn't done anything wrong don't worry."

"Yeah, I just feel like annoy a lot of people all the time, a thing about me I hate. And my only idea were sitting on the floor hopingvthe teachers will forget us to be honest."

"Sadly it wouldn't work out... These cunts have list. Doesn't that suck? Without them they definitly would forget us. Do you think they'll even remember our name?" - "I don't know, how I should? My last school was really small..."

 "Oh well, by the way what's your name? I didn't asked yet sorry..." - "It's okay, my name is Jenna"

"Jenna? Cool now I already know 2 Jenna's! On elemantary school my best friends name was Jenna.", oh please. Please don't. I hate to be be compared. It feels like I'm just a copy and easy to replace. In short, like I already excist.