[p.js] x [oc] x [z.cl]
'You're toxic, I'm slipping under'
A random hookup with bass player Park Jisung sends Liang Xia into a downward spiral of toxic behaviors and salacious addictions.
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Tags:
love triangle
arranged marriage
affair
smut
best frien...
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Jisung's mouth hung open in shock at a complete loss for words.
She doesn't regret it? She doesn't regret it. She doesn't regret it! She wants me!
He tried to hold in all the hectic thoughts in his mind. It wasn't best to jump to any conclusions, so he just let his heart do the jumping instead.
Feeling the implications of her words Xia scrambled to give him further clarity on the situation from her perspective.
She shifted in her spot before speaking, uncomfortable with his hopeful gaze.
She knew that she needed to be careful with her words. Hope and insecurity can sometimes lead to dark places if not handled correctly.
"That night, I was in a really bad... headspace and I put myself in a very vulnerable position."
Jisung pursed his lips, nodding along to show that he was paying attention.
"I know that much worse things could've happened to me but they didn't, and I think it's because I met you."
The woman took deep breaths between each sentence. It felt like she was exposing this dark secret that could destroy her whole life.
Which wasn't so far from what she was taught: image is directly correlated with respect. You wield both with cautious words and a cautious mind.
These weren't things to admit to as a betrothed woman, she knew that.
But what choice did she have when the one getting hurt was the man that had helped her when she was down?
It was the least she could do.
"When I was hurting you treated me with kindness. You didn't even know me, but it didn't matter to you. I don't think I will ever be able to express what that meant to me."
Jisung didn't dare to respond, fearful he would misspeak and ruin the moment. The shift in the conversation was unexpected.
For the first time it felt like he was able to see into the girl's mind. After months of wondering, he finally could understand her side of the story.
A story that had been left open-ended.
"I don't regret that night," she reiterated, "but... that's all it can ever be: one night. You know that, right?"
Xia watched as his face fell. That hopeful expression long gone.
She felt for him, she truly did. In some roundabout way maybe her actions had led him to believe that something more could've come from that night.
