Snapshots of a life, lived

The Let Down

Mia wanted to stay home.

Traveling was exhausting. Running away was exhausting. Being away from Charlotte for longer than the eight hours she spent at work was heartbreaking. Sleeping alone in a bed, in a hotel room far away from everyone she cared about, was taking its toll on her. She was ready to be home full time, to be the always present partner her girlfriend needed. The full-time sister Autumn needed. The full time-friend if anyone would have her. She wanted her life back.

Christmas came and went. And Mia stayed. She took Char away for New Year's, but it was a short trip, and she went home with her. She started planning ahead.

And then Charlotte went back to work, and Mia was alone in the house. All day.

She tried going out, but that spiked her paranoia into overdrive. Every vaguely dark-haired man was Roger. Not ideal, but she had been home for over a month. She just needed to ease herself back into things. Besides, it was worth it when Charlotte came home and was absolutely delighted to see Mia had done the grocery shopping for the week.

They went away for Charlotte's birthday. Mia came back with her. She had thought the time to reset would do her some good. But Charlotte went back to work, and Mia went right back into a constant fight or flight state. By now it had been almost two months since she came home. Two months. The rest of her life to go. It would be fine.

* * * * *

Mia's dreams the night before had been a hodge-podge of memories and could-have-beens, leaving her unsettled when she woke up. Charlotte had been happy to lie in and cuddle for a bit longer, and it had helped, but now she was gone and Mia was pacing around the house. It was almost noon. Charlotte would be home in a couple hours.

It was quiet enough in the house that she heard the mailbox opening from where she was sat in the living room. She sat up slightly to look out the window to make sure, and saw a flash of dark hair disappearing down the street. Her heartbeat sped up.

Just the postman.

Her skin started crawling.

It was just the postman.

Her breathing quickened, a cold sweat breaking out across her forehead.

Roger didn't even know where Charlotte lived.

But he'd be able to find out so easily, wouldn't he? Her address was on file.

She grabbed her right hand with her left and dug her nails into her skin, trying ground herself.

Roger wouldn't bother with that. He probably never even thought about Mia anymore.

She was another pawn to him. He had thrown her away.

"Breathe," Mia whispered, raising her hand to press it to her chest. "Breathe." She tried to imagine Charlotte's fingers in her hair. "Breathe."

It was just the postman.

Roger probably hadn't spared Mia a thought since she revealed the plot behind prom night.

But he lived in her head forever.

Mia loved Charlotte's living room. It was cozy without being suffocating, and the couch was tucked right under a big picture window with stain glass hummingbirds and butterflies and flowers decorating it. It was nice to sit in it on the rare sunny day and have easy to access to look outside.

Right then, however, she hated it. She hated the giant window that left her completely exposed, hated that there was no cover for it aside from the lacy curtains that wouldn't actually hide anything. There was so much light in Charlotte's house because she hardly ever closed the curtains. Anyone could be watching her through any of those windows. (Roger wasn't there.) Breathe. She had to breathe. Her vision was starting to tunnel. (Roger wasn't there.) Breathe. If she passed out she would be vulnerable.