Snapshots of a life, lived

I Forgive Me

TW: Disordered Eating, parents using food to punish kids

Autumn didn't work with the kids.

It wasn't what she was hired for, and for the longest time no one had known if she actually liked kids. She certainly didn't like their parents most of the time. Then again, most of the staff didn't.

"Autumn?"

The woman looked up from her computer to see Charlotte in the office door. She was alone today; Marjorie was covering at the sister nursery because Reece was "sick" — Autumn had heard him groaning pathetically in the background of Marjorie's call, and assumed it was just a mild cold he was blowing out of proportion.

"Yes, Charlotte?"

"We're doing lunch right now, and one of the kids said something that has me worried." The worst way to start a conversation. Autumn sighed inwardly.

"What is it?"

"So Melissa had a bit of a rough morning. She yelled at another classmate for hogging the swing, and I took her aside to talk about using her gentle voice while Carly gave the classmate a quick talk about sharing. But Melissa was really sad for the rest of outside time, and when we came in for lunch she said naughty girls don't get food."

Charlotte saw something flash in Autumn's eyes. That had touched a nerve. "Did you ask any follow up questions?"

"I asked her why she thought that, and she said because Mummy told me so."

Autumn took a deep breath, held it for a minute, then blew it out. "Very well. When Mum gets here, tell her to come to the office. But that doesn't solve the more immediate problem of getting Melissa to eat now."

"No," Charlotte agreed. "I'm not sure what to do."

Autumn thought for a moment, tilting her head slightly. "Let me talk to her," she said finally, standing and walking around her desk to follow Charlotte back to the pre-school room. Charlotte blinked a few times, surprised.

"You're going to... talk to Melissa?"

"I'm going to try."

Charlotte wasn't sure how to ask if Autumn really thought that was a good idea. So instead she just led Autumn back to the room.

Two Weeks Later...

"Marjorie?"

Marjorie looked up from her computer, smiling when she saw Melissa's father poking his head in from the hall. "Hello! What can I do for you?"

"Melissa wants to know if Autumn's in."

Not what Marjorie had been expecting. "I'm afraid she's off for the day." Autumn had gotten a lot better about asking for mental health days since the miscarriage. Marjorie was proud of her. "Is there something I can do for you?"

"Nah, she just wanted to say hi and give this to Autumn." He handed a paper heart to Marjorie. "I'm going to drop Bug off. Mind leaving it on her desk?"

"Oh yeah, of course."

Melissa and her father left. The little girl had a bounce in her step that had been missing before; Social Services had stepped in when it became clear that her mother's "no food for naughty children" thing went much deeper than anyone realized, and temporary full custody had been given to her father. Clearly it was good for her.

Marjorie looked down at the heart, and saw that it had a picture drawn in it. A little stick figure with black hair — Melissa, presumably — and a taller stick figure with red hair and glasses were holding hands and smiling. Written above them in big, shaky letters were the words I forgive me.