Secrets | Minsung

Special Part 2: It Was You

Minho's:

I never expected that night ended cuddling my crush to sleep. Thanks to Chan hyung who called my phone —note the sarcasm— I had to let go and leave.

The older just told me about a post from soc-med and asked if his brother was safe.

All I said that night to him was, "Fuck you."

I went home first before opening my soc-med account and saw me and Han's picture in the party where he was clinging to my neck. I couldn't help feeling flustered and let myself saved the photo to my phone.

Actually, I could hack it and delete it to avoid more gossips next Monday but I wanted them to know. I want him to know. That I only have eyes for him. Rumor or not, I don't care.

Two days after, Monday came. I found out from Felix, Han wasn't doing okay and isn't going to eat lunch with us so I told our friends that I won't joining them for lunch too.

I looked around for him and found him in the library. I actually planned to just stay with him until the our break time is over but I think we need to go where he'll be more comfortable. That day, I let myself down watching him all flustered.

But as they say life isn't just full of sunshine.

My feelings were mess when I got encounter a hitman of a mob, a fucking enemy. He shoots fucking insane, so smooth, sharp, and fast. For the first time, I was drawn to someone's killing skills and had a urge to see them again.

Later on, one night I found Han crying in the park made my heart sunk. This isn't the view I was hoping for to see. From that moment, I promised myself to protect his smile, protect him whole from the darkest side of the world.

I never expected him to confess but I mostly never expect myself to kiss him. And it felt right even I just confirmed to myself few nights ago that I like the hitman named J.One after occupying my mind for days. I knew it was a jerk move but can't help it. I even ask Han out on Friday.

Before Friday, another job came. Protect Jarred Moon.

That night I never expected to see the hitman again but unlike last time, he haven't wearing mask. I could see him clearly. The man had occupied my mind days ago is the same with the man I liked so long. Han. Han Jisung.

"So... you're J.One." I whispered.

"We met again, Lee Know." He smirked, calling me in my code name.

Instead of feeling shock and disappointed, I feel more relief for my feelings, and the same time worried. How long he was working like this?

"Since two years ago I left home."

I felt bad, really bad. How could we thought that he was just busy in his part time jobs? We thought just like in the day where we see him sometimes, he was working in some store, bar or something in the night. Why did we never thought of that?

But when he pleads not to tell anyone, I still agreed even though all I wanted is to help him and not let him work like that.

Next days were good. Really good. I may feel bad about him working as a hitman and having secret to our friends, I still feel contented. Han and I got more close. He still get flustered here and there —and it's cute— yet he still get comfortable with me which is great actually.

Then again, rains started pouring again.

We lost him. Our friends lost him. I lost him. I even haven't tell him my feelings yet.

We tried to find him. We pull connection here and there but we couldn't find him. It's like someone is behind, protecting him.

Chan came to my home with dozen of drinks.

"It's been awhile." I said. I couldn't remember when was the last time we saw each other. Is it last three weeks? Last four months? I don't know anymore.

He just nodded and set the drinks in my living room. We start drinking until he broke the silence between us.

"I argued with my dad," he started. "I had assumption he had to do with my little brother's disappearance."

"How could you say that?" I asked.

"He always blame him for what happened to mom. We know how dangerous he is if he wanted to." He said.

"Are you telling me that he may kill Jisung?"

He sighed, "I don't know."

He knows but he just doesn't want to believe. Well, me too. Han can't just be gone just like that.

After that night, I started finding him again but this time not just finding Han Jisung but J.One in the underworld too. Few more patience...

I found him.

I found out what his whereabouts. He's a newly member of Red Mafia or mostly known as RM. I knew better that it wasn't coincidence that wealthy men got murdered in several cities he went to.

He's on the mission.

I have too much questions but I know it's only Han could answer so instead of coming to him, I waited. I stayed in the shadow. When he came to Seoul again, I still followed him through satellite— as always. He went back to uni and I'm certain he'll stay at the uni so I pulled some strings to get close to him that is to be his roommate.

It wasn't easy. It felt like he's so close yet so far. He always has blank eyes not like before that has a lot of emotions. And it hurts.

We talked and I broke down one night. I left him alone and I knew if I stayed I'll be greedy and force him to not leave me again.

But I wish I never left.

He left our dorm and never came back for so many hours. Of course, I waited— as always.

He came back with so much bruises and shot on his stomach. Bloods all over body. Looks like he got into fight. I carried him into bridal style and laid him to his bed before cleaning him and aid his bruises and wounds.

Looking at him. He looked so strong but I knew, inside he's still fragile and easy to break. Stubborn, reckless, and clumsy too like the Han Jisung I know. My Hannie.