DREAM OF DEATH

DREAM OF DEATH [ STEP FORWARD]

I'm waking up with headache and wonder if I'm still in the dream cause of feeling heaviness on my body. Only after something soft tickles my neck, realize I am literally crushed between wangji's arms, he holds me too tightly it's surprising I didn't suffocated already wangji? Get off I call but he clutches my body like his life depends on me and I realise how true this sounds, even he won't admit, still it's too visible how much I mean for him and how much heat treasures me, if I was different person...... it should be too easy to use this against him but..... I can't, instead of this I get closer and closer to him. The way he sleeps, so cutely like baby makes me feel weird and uneasy. I keep floundering under him with all my strength and finally manage to free myself from wangji's grip.

Hosh are you some koala? I mumble and he frowns with still closed eyes.

You are exactly the same, so don't complain he mumbles with sleepy voice and I look down at his morning face. His nose red and little swollen, a few stands of his hair proudly stands up and his lips from little pouts of annoyance. Trying to make himself awake after sudden shock he is stretches out and in the process his cheeks blows, again....... he looks like totally different person and without realising I bring my fingers at his face and poke his cheek, wangji literally jump on the bed and looks at me with already widened and eyes what the..... although having skilled tongue still I can explain my sudden act and leave the bed in hurry without saying anything, almost breaking my neck on the way.

Maid, who is cooking for us turn to me and coughs, just realizing I forgot to put proper clothes on and I'm dressed quite revealingly move back but she smiles and shakes head it's okay dear, I'm old enough to be your mom. Do you need something?

Her words strongly hits my heart and I shake head with sad smiles no aunt, I am just thirsty I take water from fridge and peek in the pot look and smell so delicious.

You have good appetite no?

Hm, I'm thin but it too much I laugh and she pets my hair, feeling her touc realize how much I was missing this kind of warmth and lower my head, trying to hide my pain.

Such a adorable boy you're, caring too sweet aura. Your mom must be proud.

Maybe she was once but...... not anymore I whisper and look at her aunt, don't you find it disgusting? I mean the fact, that I'm living with wangji ? Think you can guess what kind of relationship.....

It's your life and your choice, who am I to meddle in? And relationship is never disgusting if it's built on true feelings, what it was to do with gender?

But aunt...... as being mom yourself is it possible to just throw your child away cause of this? She didn't even listen, didn't let me to explain, I needed someone to heal me..... it isn't like I'm the sinner, what did I even do wrong? I sit down and hide my face in my palms, I can't help myself but feel very upset, cause of being abandoned by her, I know how much she went through but... how could she give up on me this easily.

I'm sure she regrets, no mom can hate her children. But sometimes pride becomes our worst enemy, maybe your mom can't bring herself to apologize.

It's you who thinks so aunt, I'm calling almost everyday, I am trying to reach her but guess..... I am not worth son. I hope one day I would get chance to talk with her like this, maybe it's going to remain as dream forever she encouragingly smiles at me and and I change the talking subject aunt how long it's since you started working here?

As I remember Young Master was 17 years old then, so it's about 6

Wasn't it hard for you?

Hard why? Wangji is nice and polite boy kind a shy too