Souls Of Sorrow || 𝐸𝑟𝑒𝑛 𝐽𝑎𝑒𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑋 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

Chapter 35 - Eren (nsfw)

-

I wake up in a cold sweat, jolting to sit upright the second my eyes open.

The room is dark, indicating that it's not even morning yet. I'm panting heavily, and I attempt to take deep breaths to calm myself. I'm not exactly sure what prompted the nightmare, but I'm sure it had something to do with the visions that I've been seeing the since I touched Historia all those weeks ago.

I run a hand through my hair and rub my forehead, trying to rid my mind of unwanted thoughts.

Y/n stirs beside me and I remember where I am. I'm fine, everything is fine. I'm next to her, where there's nothing to worry about.

She lets out a tired sound and raises a hand to squeeze my arm. "You okay?" she asks lowly, and I can feel her eyes on me in the dark. I nod, but it doesn't feel convincing. "Just a bad dream," I murmur, feeling childish just saying that.

She shifts to sit up, her arms draping loosely over my shoulders. She presses a kiss to my nape and I feel my eyes close as I relax under her touch. I take a shallow breath. "It was horrible," I murmur.

"It was only a dream," she responds as she gently traces patterns on my bare chest.

I shake my head, feeling my brows furrow. "It felt so real. It felt like memories, from me or my father, or someone else, I don't know." I tilt my head to rest on hers, my mind coming back to me. "You were there. But it was...so strange. It felt real, but it was like I was seeing you through something else, like a lens of some kind."

She hums as she listens, her fingertips still tracing absentmindedly over my skin. "You're probably just thinking about what happened at Shiganshina, maybe it's making you see me in your dreams."

Sure, that sounds plausible. Doesn't explain everything else I've been seeing though.

"Maybe," I mutter, taking her hand in mine. "You were all bloody...and you had all these weird looking chains on you." My brows knit together as I recall the fact, my voice low as I speak.

"Eren," she murmurs, kissing my temple. "I'm okay, it was just a dream. Go back to sleep."

I nod slightly, staying there for a moment before letting myself fall back to lay beside her. I turn over, burying my head into the crook of her neck as my arms wrap around her waist.

Maybe she's right, I just keep thinking about how I thought I lost her back in Shiganshina. I never want to go through that pain again, watching the woman I love die. The memory terrorizes me.

I breathe her in as my eyes fall closed again, my arms holding onto her like she's my only anchor to life. Her hand runs through my hair, lulling me to a more peaceful state of mind.

Love...I keep thinking about that pesky little word, it's presence like a nagging in the back of my head. It's been about two months since the memorial for the fallen soldiers that died in Shiganshina, longer since I told Y/n I loved her. She hasn't said it back, not directly, anyway.

Every time I think she's going to it ends up being nothing but a dead hope.

"Y/n?" I ask after a quiet moment.

She sighs, in exasperation or not, I can’t be sure. "What?"

My lips press together as I open my eyes. I wrap my arms tighter around her almost subconsciously. "...What am I to you?"