Souls Of Sorrow || 𝐸𝑟𝑒𝑛 𝐽𝑎𝑒𝑔𝑒𝑟 𝑋 𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟

Chapter 42 - You

-

I thought readjusting to my old life would be easy. Turns out things changed more than I thought they would. Or I did.

I spent yesterday and most of today trying to sleep, but I never get more than an hour without being plagued by nightmares. I feel the pain of invisible wounds whenever I close my eyes for too long, and my head keeps ringing at random.

My focus doesn't stay on one thing for too long, and sometimes I blank when I try to remember certain things.

I'm only going through the motions. Walking, breathing, speaking. But I'm not sure if I'm really there. No one else seems to notice, so maybe it's just me.

A splash of cold water brings me back to attention as I wake myself up in the attached bathroom of my room, standing over the sink. I wipe off the dripping water, raising my gaze to meet my own in the mirror.

I know that technically I haven't aged a day, but I don't recognize the person staring back at me. It was a shock at first, seeing myself again after so long. I don't remember what I used to see when I looked in the mirror, but now it's only dark circles and dead, angry eyes.

Two years, that's how long my father said I was gone for. The squad searched Marley as much as they could, but didn't find anything. My lips press together in a thin line, as I still have trouble processing how long I was really experimented on and tortured for.

It felt like a few months, a year at most, but I suppose the days just bled together so easily. The lighting never changed, the cycles of people coming in and out of my cell never changed, there was no indication of a new day.

My gaze shifts as I raise a hand, studying it intently. Since I have to use injury as a trigger for my powers like any other injected with the titan serum, I needed to have a weapon always on me. Using my teeth, that's just not my style.

So last night, when I couldn't sleep, I sharpened my nails into points and edges like razor blades. They had grown out after Doctor Connor stopped having them pulled out to torture me, when she got more creative.

Now one quick knick will let me use my power easily.

I tilt my head slightly as I straighten two fingers, recalling how good it felt to put them through her eyes. That bitch deserved worse than what I did to her, but my revenge on her people will have to suffice.

Even if my own people will hate me for it.

I push away from the sink, walking back into the main part of my bedroom, grabbing the clothes I had laid out this morning. My hands work mindlessly as I get dressed, my unfocused gaze on nothing in particular.

Yet my thoughts run rampant, my mind alert and vigilant. My thoughts are always sharp, even when my focus isn't.

Nothing told to me as of recent is fading, for now. I know that Pixis detained the volunteers, a strong armed tactic, but necessary. And I remember my father left early this morning to take Zeke somewhere secluded.

I wasn't given the location as to where, some bullshit about me 'focusing on myself.' I told him a hundred times I was fine, but he didn't believe me. He probably would have watched over me every possible second if he could.