Case by Case Love ✔️

Chapter 82: Home Sweet Home

Jay opens the door and steps inside, shutting it behind him. He does not even hear the click before a pair of arms are wrapped around him, with a head against his shoulder. He simply takes a deep breath, wrapping his arms back around her in return. 

"Hey," he simply says before placing a kiss on her lips. "I'm sorry I am so late. I got tied up with paperwork. I did not mean to keep you waiting." It did not matter to her now. Sure, she was worried earlier and would have preferred him to home much sooner than this. However, the feeling of him back in her arms was all she needed to feel. The rest did not matter. No matter what it was, they could deal with that in the morning and the days that followed.

"I am just glad that you are home," she replies, before returning the kiss with one of her own. She could not help but take a slight step back, taking in his full appearance. It was very rare he was dressed in full uniform, but anytime it happened, she always tried to take in the full appearance. There was something to be said about a sharp dressed man, and he was no different than the rest. Why was she so blessed with such a sexy man of her own? "I was beginning to worry that you wouldn't be home tonight. I already told you I could not handle being away from you again. I meant those words, Jay. I just got you back. I spent years away from you. I cannot go through that again." 

"I know..." Jay takes her hand with his own, intertwining their fingers together. "I promised you that I was not going anywhere, remember?" She nods her head, not forgetting one single moment of the conversation. However, the same way she remembered the promise and love expressed, the same she remembered how he'd do anything for Hank. She knew from experience how much trouble that could get you into with the department - just ask her about the time spent in New York away from him as a result. 

"We both said before that we would never leave each other, always be there for each other. But yet cases have forced us apart before. I had to leave town as a result of a case already once, Jay." He did not need a reminder, the pain he felt when she left then coming back to him at the mere mention. He remembered the weeks of heartbreak, feeling lost, wondering what could have been. He remembered how he tried to fill the void with nights with Carmela, somehow believing he could save her, somehow believing he could make it all real and erase what he was feeling. He remembered Hank thinking he was on drugs or drinking excessively due to how he reacted to her leaving then. "Jay..."

"You weren't the only person who dealt with pain from what happened. I was left wondering where you went, why you didn't say goodbye, why you didn't tell me anything. I was left wondering if I meant anything to you at all. What did our love mean if you couldn't damn well say goodbye or tell me anything? Why didn't you try to reach out? Why didn't you try to see me? I dealt with months and months of tearing my heart apart. But oh no, you're the only person who has sympathy in that situation and rubs it in my face every time you can." Her jaw could only drop in response as she had not expected him to lash out in return. She thought they had been over what happened then, and were over it with in the past. Wasn't that why they were back together? Wasn't that why they couldn't now get enough of spending time together? "I also had to leave town because of cases and situations. Please do not just throw yourself on the mighty high horse for sympathy because it's a two way street." 

"I get that, okay? We've talked about that and we understand that on both sides of the street. We both understand that we each dealt with our own pain, and made some bad choices for reasons we believed were the right ones. Why are you throwing it in my face now all of a sudden?" Jay rolled his eyes as he walked to the fridge, and reached in to grab a beer. He had hoped to come home to a welcoming reunion with dinner for two. Instead, they were arguing over stuff that he did not realize bothered him still just as much as before.

"You brought it up to me in saying that you had to leave town, acting as if you were the only person hurt by what happened. Blame yourself." He then leans back against the counter, taking a long sip of his drink. "I just signed a document that stated they could not find me guilty or innocent due to lack of evidence. I just signed a document that could prevent me from being promoted in the future. The same document could also come up to hurt me in a future case, combined with my past, should something arise again. I signed it without a second thought not wanting to take any deal or be further pressed. I signed it because I did not want to be put in a spot where I had to compromise you, Hank or this unit as a whole. And then I come home and practically have my feelings ignored, just like they were when you ran out on us those years ago. And yet you're mad because of my reaction?" 

"Ja-"

"Maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe we should not have gotten back together. Maybe I made the right decision back then to just forget about what we had and move forward. What do you think of that?" Erin shakes her head no immediately as she reaches out to grab his hand. "Don't touch me, please. Just don't. Instead, show me that I am wrong. Prove to me what I am saying is wrong, please..."