Love Buzz - Kurt Cobain Fanfic

Chapter Thirty Six

"Jade, wake up!!" I heard a voice say. I was so deep in sleep that it took a minute to realize Shelli was standing above the bed. "The hospital called, Kurt opened his eyes." That was all it took for me to jump out of bed. I quickly grabbed my things and ran out the door with Frances in my arms. "Should I bring her or?" I quickly asked Shelli for guidance. "Bring her, i'll watch her or bring her back if you need me to. Kurt would probably wanna see her." She slightly smiled. I nodded and took off down the hall, Shelli following behind. I couldn't get to Kurt fast enough. I needed to see those blue eyes that I never thought I'd see open again. The car ride there was the longest car ride of my life, and I couldn't sit still. We finally pulled into the hospital parking lot and I quickly grabbed Frances out of the backseat with shaking hands. We ran through the doors and without even thinking about where to go, we were standing on the outside of room 208. A nurse was standing in front of the door. "Listen, there are a few things you need to know before you go in. Kurt is alert now, but he is very irritable. So, please be careful with your words and aware that he is still very sick. We need to keep him here a few more days to get his stength back up and keep an eye on him. And one at a time please still. Let me know if you need anything, I'll be back to check on him shortly." The nurse smiled before walking away. "Thank you." I mumbled before forcing a smile. I took a deep breath, and was pretty sure I was about to have a panic attack. "Shelli, can you hold her while I go in to see him? I'm not really sure what's gonna happen yet, so I wanna wait before I bring her in there." I sighed. "Of course." She replied as she grabbed Frances from me. 'What do I say to him? How do I do this?' A million things werw running through my head. But, I knew that I wanted to see my Kurt. And that I couldn't be near him fast enough, so I opened the door with shaking, nervous hands. An exhausted, pale Kurt was propped up in the hospital bed. The dark circles underneath his eyes were still there, but not as bad. His blue eyes had never looked so blue because his eyes were so bloodshot. "Kurt.." My voice cracked and trailed off as I collapsed on the bed beside him. "Jade, I'm so sorry." His voice was huskier and quiter than usual. "I don't wanna hear it, Kurt. You died. You fucking died, Kurt. Do you realize that? What if the doctors wouldn't have been able to bring you back? Then what? Would you be sorry then? Frances needs you. All she's been saying is 'dada' the whole time you've been out. Kurt, why?! Why did you fucking do this?!" My words exploded out of my mouth before I had time to think about them. I knew I shouldn't have said it as soon as I realized what all I had said. "I'm a piece of shit Jade. If you don't realize that, then I'm sorry." He said as his eyes filled with tears. "I don't fucking know what to say to you Jade, so you might as well leave." He said angrily. "Leave? You want me to fucking leave? Who else do you fucking have Kurt? Huh? No one! I'll leave then. And I'll take your little girl with me since she seems to mean nothing to you." I said, grabbing the door handle as tears poured down my face. "Wait, Jade. No. Frances is here?" Kurt said, looking paler. I nodded as I wiped the tears away. "Can I see her? Please?" He begged, tears rolling down his face. I couldn't do it anymore. I ran to the bed and fell next to him, wrapping his arm around me. I sobbed into his chest as he hugged me and i felt him kiss the top of my head. We held eachother and cried together for at least a good ten minutes "Shhh, Jade. Calm down. Please." He whipsered as he sniffed his nose, trying to stop crying. Kurt was being stronger than I was and I felt ridiculous. But, I thought I lost him and if that had really happened, I would be completley lost. "We'll talk about this when I get outta here, I swear. But please just know I'm right here now and I'm not gonna dissappear, Jade. I swear. Its alright." He whispered as he rubbed my back. "I think we need our baby in here. Can I please see her now?" Kurt slightly smiled. "Yeah, I'm sorry." I wiped away my tears and stood up. "Don't you say that. There's nothing to be sorry for." He said as I opened the door to get Frances. Shelli looked at me with apologetic eyes as she bounced Frances on her lap. "I heard." She mumbled. " The door must not be too thick, cause I could hear everything. You guys are breaking my heart. But, its gonna be alright. He's alive and that's all that matters." She slightly smiled and handed Frances to me. I took a deep breath and put on my best happy face. "Frances are you ready to see daddy? He's sick, but he's gonna be okay. Just make sure you give him lots of love okay?" I smiled at her and she clapped her hands as if she knew what I was talking about. I opened up the door and saw Kurt's face immidiatly light up. "Hi my perfect little munchkin." Kurt cooed as I sat her on his lap. He lifted her up and kissed her little face and she grinned from ear to ear. My heart was breaking and melting all at once and more tears filled my eyes. "Has mommy been teaching you lots of cuss words?" Kurt joked as Frances played with his nose and his stubble on his chin. I laughed and shook my head. I sat on the bed next to the two loves of my life. It felt great to laugh and smile again and to have my family back. But, in reality, Kurt needed major help and I knew my little family could be no more in an instant. I was scared shitless.