Love Can Be Hard

Chapter 4

So Les had talked me or kissed me rather into staying another week with him. I was actually happy about it because a part of me never wanted to leave him again. I know it's not realistic seeing as how I do have a job waiting for me back in upstate New York. A little piece of my heart wished I could stay here with Les forever, but then my brain broke in and reminded me that I had responsibilities back home. Sometimes my brain is a party pooper.

We had spent that day just being together in his house alone for a change. Yes it made me nervous, but also I was content just to be with him. We mainly sat in the living room watching tv and occasionally kissing and making out. I was beginning to love being with him like this. I hadn't been sure when I started my journey here if I would be able to even do the things I was finding myself doing now. My past had been such a big part of me before, hindering me doing a lot of things girls my age did. Most people take for granted all the small things that couples do together, like kissing, holding hands, curling up on a couch together to watch a movie, etc. I noticed each and every one I did with Les because I never thought I would be doing them with anyone at all.

Finally later that evening Les asked me if I had informed Xander of the new plans. Damn! I thought once again, I had completely forgotten about him. I wasn't sure what he was going to think of the whole thing. Then I began to worry because technically I was suppose to be staying at his house. What would people think if they found out I was really spending most of my time, days and nights here alone with Les? I didn't want them to think badly of my boyfriend. For a minute it didn't even cross my mind that they would think bad of me as well.

"Hun? Do you think maybe I should go back to Xander's tonight? I am suppose to be staying there remember?" He looked at me with a frown. I could see that things were processing in his mind now. "I forgot all about that. Well I guess we could tell them you changed your mind and are staying here." Sitting there next to him I started shaking my head. "I don't want them thinking bad of you hun. You know what people are going to think if they find out we are here alone together." He startled me when he said. "PSH! Like I care what they think. You are my girlfriend, it shouldn't matter if you want to stay at my house."  I did agree with that, but reminded myself to just double check with Xander on his feelings about the whole thing.

I finally got up and called the airline to change my flight another week. When that was done I started to relax again. Things were going good so far with me and Les, better than I had hoped. I was glad he had offered me staying another week, I sure didn't wanna look weird for wanting to stay and having to ask him if it was ok would have been ackward.

Once again that night I lay in Les' bed curled up safely in his arms. I realized as I lay there listening to him breathe and feeling his arms wrapped protective and loving around me that  I hadn't had one single nightmare. Then I realized that his own nightmares had been less since I had been staying with him. Maybe I was wrong about it but for once in my life I felt like I belonged somewhere. Like I was needed by someone. I knew that eventually if I stayed long enough the subject of us having sex would come up, but for now I was just content to be with him. I would cross that bridge when we came to it. In fact knowing Les as well as I do we would both be crossing it together slowly and carefully.

 The next morning I decided to text Xander and get his feelings on me staying another week. I also needed to ask him about the whole suppose to be staying at his house thing. {hey dadz hows u? } I sat at the table watching Les once more cook us breakfast. {howdy kiddo. I'm good here. How's you there?} A smile crossed my face as I looked up in time for Les to kiss me as he set a cup of coffee in front of me on the table. {Great. Awesome. Couldn't be better :}~} then another text {Lmao. crazy kid} I laughed out when I read that, yes I was a bit crazy, crazy for the man standing not two feet away from me. {hey dadz well wat do u think of me staying another week here? oh and by here I mean @ Les'} ... then I sat and waited for the reply.

A few moments later we heard the slamming of Les' front door. "Wooo! I smell food!" in walked Xander. I looked up at him to see him look right at me with a frown. Next thing I know he's sitting in the chair beside me and looking right at me. "Rebi, about you staying another week I think it's great. But I'm not so sure about you staying here with Les alone for the entire time. Not that I don't trust my friend and you may as well say brother.....but you know as well as I do what people are going to say." He glanced over to Les who was standing by the stove watching my expression.

I sighed. A part of me had thought of that exact thing. Not sure most people would understand my feelings toward Les. I felt so comfortable with him. It was unlike anything else. Well with one exception, how I had felt around my best friend Brai, who committed suicide a few years ago. I still miss him terribly. Then a seperate part of my brain kept saying who cares what others think, especially those who don't know me. But then again I didn't want people to think badly of Les, like he was making me stay here or something. It wasn't like that at all. I loved him so much that other things just left my mind around him. 

Turning back to the guys in the kitchen I thought hard of what I was going to say next. "Yes Dadz, I know what some people are going to think. But how can I explain it.... staying here just feels right to me. Don't get me wrong your house is great too, your family is so nice and welcoming. Honestly it's almost scary to me how willing they are to share their home with a complete stranger. It's just that I feel more comfortable with Les. Not sure what to do." The guys looked at each other. Les came over and gave me a reassuring hug and a quick kiss on the lips. I saw shock on Xander's face when he saw that.

Xander asked me then if I would mind still breaking up my time so that I wasn't always alone with Les here. I agreed and so did Les after much hesitation. I knew that he was liking me here just as I was, but we had to think of others too. I had come here not really knowing where I would stay, figureing I would work it out after which I did.