Disclosure

Stick to the Status Quo

October 12
10 pm
Onika Maraj POV

My emotions were pulling me in every possible direction as I cried in my car for 20 minutes while sitting out in front of the home I shared with Xavier. I couldn't believe that I was in the situation I was in and that I was even about to have this conversation with a man i've known all my life. I also couldn't believe that Beyoncé felt that just because I loved her and just because we were in this situation, that I could recklessly throw everything away. I hadn't thought this far... hadn't considered the seriousness of the repercussions as much as I thought I would. I wasn't as prepared as I thought I would be. I warned her but still allowed this to happen.

As my head rest on my steering wheel, I fought off my emotions as much as I could. Still, after sitting in the large parking lot, I could not get my body to get out. After so long, I actually contemplated turning around and heading in the same direction I had just left from but the reality of what I was going back to was enough for me to not do it. I knew I had to get out of this car. I had to do what I needed to do for my unborn child. The child I had waited years and years for. Beyoncé was definitely not in a position stable enough to depend on.

So I got out of the car in one swift motion, extremely fast so I couldn't think myself out of it. I didn't even bother getting any bags out of my car. This talk with Xavier might go left and I would be right back in the car headed to God knows where.

I didn't hesitate to open the front door either, knew if I did I might take as long as I did in the car. Didn't know what I would feel stepping back into this home. But the feeling that came over me wasn't a complete surprise to me. The last time I was here, I was holding my pregnant stomach, bleeding, crying, and begging Xavier to stop hitting me. I didn't feel like this was a home at all. But it was the only suitable and reasonable option.

I felt scared.. but I need to see this through. There was too much to lose.

"Sweetheart?" Xavier's deep voice rung out in echos immediately. I didn't have to guess where it was coming from because he soon was jogging down the long hallway towards me. He had an expression of sorrow and worry on his face as he pulled me into a tight hug before I could decline. My body stiffened up at the feel of his cold touch. Polar opposite of Beyonce's.

"I've been calling. I've been worried sick. Are you okay? Where have you been?" He placed his palms on both my shoulders and looked me in my eyes. I couldn't hold eye contact with him and couldn't fight the disgust I felt.

"Is the baby okay?" He asked in a quieter tone after I declined to answer any of his questions.

"The baby is fine."

"Okay. Baby listen.. I-"

"I don't need an apology." I cut him off.

"I should've never assumed you would do something like that. I know the woman I married. It just seemed really intimate.. I mean the painting and-" He told me anyway.

"I don't need an apology Xavier." I told him again. My voice cracked as I tried to keep my composure.

"What do you need?" He was desperate to be in my good graces.

"I need to focus on the baby. They come first." I said truthfully.

"And us? Where do we go from here sweetheart?"

"We focus on the baby. I focus on my mental and physical health. I don't feel comfortable around you anymore. I don't feel safe and I need you to respect that. As far I'm concerned we're separated Xavier." I told him cautiously but made sure to sound stern. It was manipulative to treat him this way when I knew that he was correct in what he assumed but it was hard to feel too bad because there was no excuse to harm me and a child he thinks is his so viciously.

"Do you really feel that's necessary Onika?" He brows furrowed with worry.

"I do." I responded as he looked away and sighed.

"Is there anything at all you want to tell me?" He asked me as if he already knew something but was giving me a chance to come clean. I definitely would not. He would need cold blooded proof of Beyoncé and I's affair to get anything out of me.

"No." I told him as I stared at him unwaveringly.

He nodded his head slowly.

"I saw the study. Why didn't you tell me you were planning on starting up your practice again?"

I sighed in disbelief. After what he did, he really shouldn't be focusing on my practice right now. But, since he brought it up, I needed to capitalize and milk him for everything I could. After all, that is why I came back to begin with.

"Because I didn't trust you. But you asked what I needed right? Well I need you to support me. Don't give me shit on this right now Xavier because it's not fair. This is how you apologize. This is how you show up for me and the baby."

"And you want to do this now while you're pregnant? You know running a practice is too stressful. How about we get it up and running a year or two after you give birth?" He tried to sale me like he always did. A year or two would turn into three, then four, then five. I didn't have a year or two. I had months to get out of this marriage with what I needed.

"Fuck it." I decided to call his bluff. I pretended to walk off before he called my name, making me stop and turn back around.

"We can get started in the morning." He reluctantly gave in.

"My study is just that. A study. I want to complete administrative work from home but I want a building Xavier. I don't want to half do this. I want to bring on other employees I want to be my own woman. I want to use my degree. I've put up with a lot. I deserve this." I told him confidently.

"Okay Onika. I'll make some calls." He clenched his jaw slightly in defeat.

Author's Notes 🗒️:

Onika using Xavier to get her business up and running? How will Onika depending on Xavier make Bey feel?

What is Bey going to do after this?

What if Xavier finds out the child isn't his?

Can this act really last until Onika gives birth?

Onika thinks of Bey as a child but will Onika need Bey later on?

Onika still doesn't know about bey's check, will bey's come up change everything?

Predictions?