Sofia the First: The Rise of Rulers

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Hugo

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Hugo

When reality finds me, I push down the straining feeling in my gut and try to force myself back to sleep. To where the truth of what happened does not exist, but my mind refuses to go back to peacefulness. The painful ache I feel deep in my heart is not something I can escape. I've grieved a parent before, and though in a lot of ways this time is similar, it is also drastically different. My mother had been sick for a while and her death was not a surprise. My father's death was sudden and I wasn't prepared like I was for my mother's. I was unaware that my last words to him were my last. Regret and guilt is heavy on my heart as I think about the last days I had with him. I should have spent more time with him, I should have savored our moments. Pain in shades of blue and black fall over me as I stare at the ceiling.

When a soft breath catches my attention I turn to Sofia, asleep on the other side of the bed. Last night was the worst night of my life. I held her to me and listened to her tell me how scared she was. She told me that she and her mom used to do everything together. She told me about how her and her mom were a team and now she would have to continue alone. She cried. I cried too, for her, for my brother, for my father. In a sick way, I'm almost grateful that we're all going through it together. I'm not alone, none of us are. The world has pushed us into the deep end but it pushed all of us. Though the truth is, I would do anything to take this pain away from Sofia. There is nothing I would not sacrifice to take the heartbreak out of her eyes and wipe the tears from her cheeks.

I get up as silently as possible and make my way to the shower. Wasting no time stripping from my clothes that I hadn't changed out of yesterday. I step into the shower, the hot water scalding my back, I'm disappointed in its inability to burn away the sorrow. I press my head against the shower wall as the water drips from my hair and falls to my nose. I focus on anything other than the grief creeping its way back into my life. I take a deep breath but it fails to calm me as thick droplets from my eyes join the shower floor.

He was my dad. My hero. Heroes aren't defeated by villains. I bang my head against my hands, trying uselessly to rid my head of the depressing thoughts. I watched my big brother cry yesterday. That wrecked me more than I thought it would.

When I managed to wash myself clean of everything but the pain in my heart, I put on my tailored suit. I take my time buttoning up my shirt. I urge my brain to think only of the task at hand. Once I finish and look in the mirror, I meet my own eyes. The eyes that are - or used to be - the spitting image of my dad's and I break. Another sob racks through my body as I press my palms to my eye lids, hoping the pressure will hold back the dam of sorrow building behind my eyes. What is this? I can't even look at my own fucking reflection without bursting into tears like a little bitch? Pathetic. I breathe in deeply and walk back into the bedroom once I'm sure the tears are safely tucked away. I have to be strong for Sofia. Man up Hugo, it's what dad would have wanted.

I walk over to the edge of the bed where my wife still lays, her features free of despair. I don't want to wake her, I don't want to bring her to this place which has become a living hell, but I have to. Our impromptu coronation is in less than an hour. My heart pounds restlessly at the thought of becoming king without my father here to guide me.

"Princess," I whisper, nudging Sofia softly. She stirs but doesn't wake up. I kiss her forehead before nudging her again. Her eyes open and find mine; and the moment reality dawns on her is clear in the way she closes her eyes and whimpers. "I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"I can't do this without them, Hugo," it's a confession as she whispers it.

"You can. You're Sofia, you can do anything - annoyingly well actually." I hope to see a hint of her dazzling smile, even if it's the slightest twitch of happiness, but her face remains somber.