Sofia the First: The Rise of Rulers

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Sofia

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Sofia

Eleven coffins, all identical. Three rows of large, black, wooden boxes that hold the people closest to my heart. All I want to do is hug my mom. To hear her words whispering in my ear that I'll be ok. But I know I never will be again, not like I used to be. I feel her absence in every bone of my body. It's impossible to believe all that's left of her are memories. If I forget even one, a piece of her is gone forever. I feel so alone. No one, not even my sister knows me as well as she did. I feel a pain unlike any other. As I stand beside Hugo in the front row of the Whelshire church, I feel a pain unlike anything I've ever felt. Hot tears roll down my cheeks. I want to go back. I want to return to the time when I was a child, and it was just me and my mother. I've never really been separated from her my entire life until now. Thoughts, I've tried to block from my mind, attack me. My children will never have grandparents. My mother will never get to know me as an adult, or a mother, or a queen. I'll never get another piece of advice from her. I'll never be able to have her guidance, no matter how badly I need it.

Someone is speaking but I don't know who. I don't even hear what he's saying because I can't bring myself to lift my head. In a few hours my mother will be buried six feet under. It's a closed casket funeral, because the bloody corpses that have become my parents are too gory to look at. That's basically what Ambrose told us. The same nauseating feeling I felt when he first told us that washes over me. The more terrible things that happen the more I begin to dislike him. Something unsettling stirs within me when he's around. I saw him glare at Hugo's father one time, a disrespectful action Baileywick never did to my father.

"Please rise in honor of the deceased." We all stand as someone says a prayer. I am now eye level with the portraits of my parents beside their coffins. I hear wails from all over the church. "You may now pay your respects." Says the same voice. Ambrose beckons Hugo and I to start a line that goes to the altar. I am given two roses, he is given one. We walk. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine steps before we turn our separate ways to place the flowers. I have to close my eyes because the pain is unbearable. The agony is enough to make my legs weak and my head spin. It takes all the strength I have to walk back to the front pew. The tears have not stopped rolling down my cheeks, making them itch from the hot dampness. I won't faint again because I won't allow myself to. I need to be here for my parents' last moments above ground. I don't know where they will be taken, but I assume they will be flown back to Enchancia for their final resting place.

I've never been to a funeral before. I was supposed to, when I was younger, but mom thought it would be too sad for my siblings and I and let us stay home. I wonder if going would have prepared me for how hard this is, seeing how others deal with their losses. I suppose I could have my answer by merely looking around but I can't. Bearing my own torture is enough as is, I can't afford to see my remaining loved ones doing the same.

As I sit down, a large hand grazes mine. The touch is feather light and causes my stiff figure to relax ever so slightly. I lift my gaze to meet my husband's eyes, and feel his devastation rack through my body. He takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips. The contact is oh so delicate and brief. No words are exchanged, but as I study his eyes I see a deep sense of anger in them. I wish there is something I could do, but I've known him for long enough to know the only thing that will make him feel better is revenge. Revenge and victory over this war. He hates to lose, and the death of our parents is the greatest loss of all.

The funeral will be over soon, they don't want all of us in the same place at the same time for long. It's a safety precaution I wish they would have taken when all of our parents were together. Maybe then we would have some remaining family, rulers, guides, anything. Ambrose briefed us on the plans just before the funeral. Carriages are arranged in various places around the Whelshire palace to take my friends home. There is no telling when we will all be together again. Meetings will have to be held in groups of three or four, never all six, it makes us to large a target. A guard comes over and bows.

"Are your majesties ready to leave?

"So soon?" Amber says looking worried.

"Mr. Ambrose says he wants you all safe as soon as possible."

"Right, just give us five more minutes please." Says James, putting a hand on Vivian's shoulder.

"Yes sir." The guard replies as he turns on his heels and walks back to wherever he came from. We file out of the pews and into a minor hallway.

"Bye Sof," James says almost immediately.

"You're leaving right now? Didn't you just say five minutes?" I ask

"I asked that for your sake. As much as I would like to have a long goodbye I need to get Viv home. And I sure as hell can't stare at Mom and Dad's corpses any longer."

"James just wait a second! God it's like you don't care about anyone else!" Yells Amber. "When you go home you have Vivian, when I go home I have myself. This could be the last time I see you for months, hell, maybe even ever! Once these five minutes are up I'm completely alone. No husband, no parents, no sister, no twin. Have you even considered the loneliness I'm going to have to endure?"

"Amber, don't be like this. Of course I've considered it, but I have other things to think about. I'm sorry you didn't get married. I'm sorry you're going to be alone. I'm sorry dad died. I am not sorry that I finally have something going for me and want to protect her, no matter what. Before you throw a tantrum and say something bitchy about my wife, think very carefully about how you want us to part for possibly the last time." Damn. That was harsh, but I get where he's coming from. However, I also get where my sister is coming from. I can't pick sides, because one, I would never, and two, that would start another war.

James hooks his arm in Vivian's and attempts to storm out, but she stops him. She whispers something in his ear and I see his features soften ever so slightly. He quickly turns around and says, "I'm sorry, Amber. I really am going to miss you." Before hugging her. "Bye everyone else." His arm hooks in Vivian's once more. They turn back around and start walking as my friend looks over her shoulder, waves at me, and mouths, "You better write." I give her the most genuine smile I can muster and wave back.

I turn towards Hugo, who is shaking hands with his brother, then Hildegard, who is hugging Astrid. I look for Clio, but I guess she already left. Finally, I look at my sister. She is staring at the wall to her left and using every ounce of strength within her not to cry. I can tell she is humiliated, James never lashes out at anyone, ever. I walk up to her and throw my arms around her neck. "I'll miss you, Amber."

"I'll miss you more, Sofia."

"Will you be ok?"

"I have to be."

"Amber,"

"No, James is right."

"He's what?" Amber would never in a million years admit when she's wrong. Why now?

"Right. I need to get a better handle on my emotions."

"I don't think that's what he meant..."

"It's what I need to do."

"It's ok to be human."

"It's not ok to show weakness, especially now that I'm the queen."

"Amber, just take a minute to process things. Our parents just died and now you're going home to an empty castle. It's ok to be upset."

"Sofia, we have to go." Hugo says, reaching for my arm.

"Go? We live here."

"Ambrose wants us out of the main area, at least until the guests clear out."

"Can we just wait a second? I'm in the middle of a very important conversation."

"No you can't. Go and get to safety now. I'll write to you soon." Amber says, backing away.

"Amber, wait!"

"Goodbye Sofia! See you soon!" She says, turning to walk away. She doesn't look back, and the large wooden doors shut behind her.

"We really do need to go," Hugo says, wrapping his arm around my shoulders once more. We leave, and I can't help but feel like this is the last time I will see my friends in one place.