Dear Daddy// Luke Hemmings

Part 51- suicide note

Dear family/ friends/anyone else,

When I was younger I heard about suicide, and I didn't get it. Why would someone kill themselves?
Does life get that bad that they decide to end it? The idea always used to baffle me, until a couple of years ago.

I have contemplated for so long on whether to die. I've been acting so happy, so free, but on the inside I was a broken mess.

To Ashton and Michael. You were the main reason why I didn't want to do it.

We have been best friends since we were young and I can honestly say it's been a pleasure to know such lovely people.

There's so many memories I treasure with you guys.

-When we were younger and Michael and I dared Ashton to eat the sand from the sand pit at school.

-When Ash asked that girl and she had a boyfriend. That story was especially funny when the boyfriend punched him in the face.

-Michael falling flat on his face during athletics, me and Ash laugged so much that we were sent to the headmaster.

-When we were 15 and we collected lots of skittles, then poured it down calums trousers.

Guys I love you so much. Please don't miss me too much okay? And Ash, I'm sure you and Hailey will be fine, please make sure you live your life to the fullest.

My wife. I love you so much but you have betrayed me and I can never forgive you. How do I know you won't do it again? we were the 'it' couple. The media adored us. So why didn't you?

Calum, I honestly feel so depressed that you have hurt me this badly. You were my first ever friend and forever we have been so close- but as it seems that meant nothing to you.

I caught you two after a husband-wife argument when I was going to have Calum comfort me. It seems as though she got there first.

I understand that once I'm gone you both will be together and I have accepted that. Calum, I hope you take care of her- better than I did.

Now to my new born baby boy Scott. Due to recent circumstances you moght not be mine, but you have my eyes.

You were the hardest reason to fight against suicide. Even if you aren't mine I would have loved and cherished you. I am sorry that I won't be there with you when you grow up but remember I will always be in your heart. I could not be prouder of my little boy, even if you are only little.

The only reason I have done this was myself. Yes I must admit the cheating thing has a part in this but I wasn't happy. Who wishes to live in a world of which they hate?

As Hercules once said in the Disney movie (I can't believe I'm using Hercules in my suicide note lmao I am so unpredictable)
"I will find my way, I can go the distance. I'll be there someday-
if I can be strong. I know every mile, will be worth my while;
I would go most anywhere, to feel like I belong."

And that is what I'm doing. I'm going to be strong and I will go where I feel as though I belong.

I love you all soo soo much.
I'm sorry.
Love,
Lucas Robert Hemmings

A//N: whooo *pats self on the shoulder* that wasn't too sad or too unrealistic. . . hopefully ? No ? Okay....
Epilogue next it will be bittersweet definately ;) (love a good winky face ;) ♥)
Okay goodbye people!
~Sophie~