Ice Cream | NoMin

Chapter 26

Jeno rubbed his throat, suddenly aware of how dry it felt. The nerves from earlier had kept him from even drinking water, and now thirst hit him like a wave.

His feet moved on their own, taking him down the hallway toward the nearest vending machine by the cafeteria. He reached for a can of soda, popping it open with a faint click. The cold fizz against his lips was refreshing, but it didn't do much to ease the heaviness in his chest.

"Congratulations, Na Jaemin. You are getting the scholarship."

The dean's words echoed in his mind, playing on a loop.

Jeno meant it when he told himself he was happy for Jaemin. He truly was. If anyone deserved this, it was Jaemin. This university was Jaemin's dream, and Jeno had seen firsthand how hard Jaemin worked for it. Studying while doing his council duties, staying all night at the library, he saw it all. There wasn't a single bone in his body that would wish for Jaemin's downfall.

But still...

He couldn't help the sting of disappointment settling deep in his stomach. This scholarship wasn't just about him. It was the last thing his mother had asked of him. The one thing she had wanted him to achieve. And yet, here he was, on his way to letting her down. Again.

And for the last time, he failed to prove himself good enough.

Jeno leaned against the vending machine, gripping the cold can of soda as if it could steady the turmoil inside him. His mind kept replaying the what-ifs.

What if he had gotten the scholarship?

Would his mother have smiled at him, proud for once? Would it have been a moment they both remembered-one where she finally saw him as capable, as worthy? The thought twisted in his chest, making it hard to breathe.

Where did he go wrong? Which question had he messed up? He must have been too tense, too distracted, losing focus at just the wrong moment. And that mistake, however small, had cost him everything.

Still, beneath all the frustration, Jeno meant it when he said he was happy for Jaemin. Jaemin deserved this. He had worked for it, dreamed of it. And Jeno? Jeno had only wanted it to gain something else-his mother's approval, his freedom.

"Now, I won't be able to marry him in the future. I won't even get the chance to properly introduce him to my family. And whatever precious thing we have right now, we have to stop it." He pouted. "We haven't even started anything, and now it's already slipping away."

The words left Jeno in a whisper, barely audible even to himself. He exhaled deeply, running a hand through his hair, overwhelmed.

"Why is this happening to me? All I want is to live simply, to do what I love with the person I love. Is that really too much to ask?"

For as long as he could remember, Jeno had spent his life trying-trying to be good enough, trying to meet expectations, trying to prove himself. And yet, it was never enough. It had never been enough.

Jeno lifted his soda can, ready to take a sip, when he suddenly felt something wet land on his hand. Frowning, he lowered his drink and glanced down-only for his eyes to widen in surprise. A deep red drop stained his skin. Blood.

His brows furrowed as confusion settled in. Where did it come from? Instinctively, he reached up and touched his nose, only to let out a tired sigh when he felt the familiar warm trickle.

"Again? Seriously?" he muttered in frustration.

Sighing, he slipped a hand into his pocket, searching for his handkerchief, but came up empty. Before he could even think of another solution, a neatly folded handkerchief appeared in front of him.