My Mr. Artist

Chapter 33

Kiyah

"Ansh, your mother will not call for police right?" 

This was the first thought that came in my mind, the moment Ansh revealed that he had a massive fight with his mother and left them hanging in the hospital without them knowing he was already out of there and at my place.

"Maybe" He shrugged lazily and kept staring at me.

He didn't even want to answer me properly. He was pissing me off!

"What to you mean by maybe!!" He can't be serious, I really have no interest in dealing with his mother, at least not today, even tomorrow and day after that also.

I stood up, towering over him, I could feel my eyes widen more as I stared down at my ex but new boyfriend.

Ansh just continued to look up at me, I could literally see hearts bubbling in his eyes and that stupid silly smile on his pale face as if he had won over the world was annoying me, yet I felt the corner of my lips raising. He looked like a puppy and I really wanted to pet him but not now, we still had an issue to handle. So I tried to be patient.

"Baby, do you want me to throw you out, because I will if you won't explain to me what the situation is clearly..... wah!! Maybe our fate is aligned to each other, first, I left my job, and now you left your house..." Whoa!

"What happen to your job?"

Shit!

I got too carried away!

And now the roles were reversed. He narrowed his eyes at me, lips forming a straight line, gone that puppy soft look. And I, I just turned around and fidgeted every signal thing which my hands found. Just showing my back view in his direction. I would have laughed if I was not the one in this situation.

The perfectly imperfect pair, who are mess as an individual and become double mess if came together, just compliments each other.

"Kiyah speak." Oh, my! That stern yet sexy tone, the tone I missed unknowingly so much! It had always made me too weak to oppose him, because it was the tone that 'if you don't start speaking, then be ready to get spank'

'Kiyah focus!' I scolded myself and took a deep breath, turned around and there he stood, all serious and defensive, ready to protect me as if whole world wanted me dead.

I discreetly rolled my eyes and started explaining, "I quit my job" He raised his eyebrow, but I continue, My tone turned melancholy,

"It was getting to hectic, and I was somehow losing the strength to face you, to see you look at me as if I am just some irrelevant person disturbing your peace, your happiness. It was starting to affect me deep, not just you but being alone in this strange city and no one who truly care about me, having no home to reach after tired full day. And....... and you know, I always had a dream of opening my own studio, so I thought this would be the best time to break down this chain and start a new, more meaningful life"

It was easier than I thought to open my heart and pour out all the grievances I had stored away in my mind. It made me feel so light and just as I was about to look at him to know his reaction, Ansh hugged me closely on his left side. His warmth made me relax as I lean against his chest and stood there savoring the moment.

"I will not speak any more promises Kiyah, but you will never have no home, even when we were not together, I was never far from you. You just had to look behind my exterior, my facade which made me little incapable in showing my love for you but always remember I was and always will be there for you" His soothing voice really did the magic, so I just hug him tighter, mindful of his injuries.

"Now your turn" I tilted my head upwards to face him and narrowed my eyes a little to tell him that I was death serious.

Ansh chuckled and kissed my forehead, then he moved to a side, pulling away from me and gazing into the distance. Something tell me that the argument must have been awful. So at around nine something at night, two individual stood in the middle to room, one staring at distance while other staring at him. We must look quite funny, so I just sat down on the nearby sofa, letting Ansh be hanging with his thoughts.

Few minutes later, he turned around, his eyes searching for me only to find melazily sprawled across the couch, hugging a pillow. That earned another laughter from him. He also settled down opposite to me and gave a small 'I am okay' smile, and he began his side of tale,

"The elders in my family, especially my mother doesn't believe in divorce or the concept 'not suited for each other'. They think once you are married, he or she is the one for you, and you can't just be separated. And my mother, she is a little bit sensitive with all this another women and cheating stuff....... No! I know we didn't do anything like that and I tried more than a hundred times to explain it to her, about our situation and the truth of my marriage, but she thinks I am lying, well I don't blame her.
Well, Its just that my father, he was not that good to my mom. He is a good son but had never been a good husband or a father. I was quite young at the time and this topic is almost forbidden, but my father had cheated. Maybe I was eight or ten, my mother took all three of us to her maternal house, and we didn't return home for almost half a year, but just like we left in a haste, we return, and after that everything was fine as before as if nothing had happened but still gone was the warmth between all of us, Shivin Bhai, from then on just respected dad as his elder, I was never my dad's favorite from the start, so I never had good relation with him and mom, she just maintained a superficial relationship with dad. But she never thought of separation and even blamed that other woman for their affair. So....."

"So your mom thinks you did same as your dad and cheated on your wife with me, but most of it, she thinks I made you do this, and therefore she is disappointed in you and hates me" I concluded as it was not hard to imagine how a hurt woman would feel about her son doing the same her husband once did.

But she was wrong in judging her son through her husband mistake and mostly blaming everything on a woman when all it takes two to tangos but still I find myself feeling sorry for her and for Ansh who had such a sorry excuse of father.

Ansh just hum in response.

"Now what?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Nothing, I was kicked once so it doesn't matter to be kicked out the second time. And this time, I do have much more private funds and money than before." He said with teasing smile but rather a helpless look form on his face which made me chuckle but inwardly my heartache for him.

"So you are in my care now, right!"

"Yes, I am all yours to love, care, scold, and even beat" He said while blinking his dog eyes. God! Where did he learn all this antics!

I just burst into laugh so much that my stomach hurt, "From where did you learn this Ansh? I never knew you were so good at selling cuteness."

"Don't even ask, Lakshit do this all the time!" He rolled his eyes while saying this, trying to show how much irritating his nephew could be, but the smile on his face said how much he loves his nephew and then that smile fell down as fast as it had appeared, and I knew he must be thinking how hard it would get from now on to meet him or any other Awasthi.

I just silently went to him, sat at his side and put my hand on his knee, trying to comfort him. He patted my hand which is on top of his and squeeze out a little smile, saying, "I can handle everything as long as you are with me."

And I wanted to say 'I will not leave your side' but my lips remain shut and all I could do was forced a smile.

_

Ever since Ansh had come that day, I found him constantly gazing at him with that silly look on his face as if he looked away, I would run away from him. It made me want to pinch as well as slap his cheek so hard that it would turn like a ripe tomato. But still being a patient person I was, I gave those cheeks just quick peaks and letting him stare as much as he wanted.

It's not like I was hating his adoring eyes and just staring and not talking was quite good as I didn't want to have any deep and serious conversation about our past, present and future with him. It would just lead to another round of argument or raising the level of my anxiety.

So you may ask what could two unemployed, one still injured and both having reconnected their relationship would do alone at home?

Romancing, Light Flirting, Sweet Nonsense, Deep kissing, Sex.......

Right?

WRONG!!

I wanted to, I wanted to do all of that much more than i would like to admit as I knew how much my hormones are begging for it and I could see it in Ansh's lingering gaze as well. But the thought of him still being tied to someone else, even if its forced literally destroys my mood every time. So we never addressed the elephant in the room.

Then what were we doing since past two days? Well we were binge-watching every movie and series from every streaming platform plus three time takeaway meals and late night desert were being delivered in front of my door. So I did nothing but commenting on every show or more like criticizing each show we watched till early morning, ate every junk I suddenly crave without restraining myself and slept [separately] till sun was above my head. Ansh did the same as he made himself comfortable in my bed-cum-couch while I went back to sleep in my room. It was also thanks to holiday break that my phone calls from site manager were as silent that I started to check if it was switched off.

To say, these two days filled with much-needed silence and relaxation made me doubt that it will last long. It felt like a peace before storm and that left me with uneasiness.

And today, since morning I felt like I needed to do something, and so I started cleaning everything and anything and as I started cleaning I felt more enthusiastic and more homesick. Tomorrow is 'Laxmi pujan', my parents house must be filled with joy and chaos with relatives coming and going and smiling faces of every one, and I would not be there with them felt so wrong, but I had already informed my mom when Ansh was in the hospital that I couldn't make it in time for this Diwali. She also suggested that they all could come to visit me and would celebrate here but at that time, it even slipped out of my mind that it would be Diwali in few days, celebrating it was out of question. Just wishing Ansh to recover fast was all I ever wanted. So I declined saying I had too much work, and it would really be no fun for anyone to squeeze into this tiny rented apartment which could be taken away any moment after I submitted my resignation.

So I decided, we would also celebrate it, just the two of us, as I had once dreamed off. I don't know anything, but maybe I could at least organize a small Pooja with genuine desire to worship and welcome Laxmi goddess's blessing on both of us.

_

"Ansh! Its medicine time, take it." I handed him the medicine with a glass of water and left right away. I was quite busy today and intentionally ignored looking at his whined up face as he took the pills.

Ansh brought nothing with him, not even his phone as it was lost in a mess. It was Arnav who dropped him here and later also send a delivery with some essentials stuff and medicine and messaged me the prescription. What a friend!

"Come, change into these clothe but first, look here." I went back and bought the spare pair of clothing, keeping it on his side. Then grabbed his face and wipes it with a warm damp towel, proceeding to wipe his upper body and then threw the towel onto him, asking him to continue the rest.

"After wiping, call me to put on clothes on you."

"My hand hurt!" He stuck out his left hand holding the towel and silently telling to do the rest as well. His lips curved into a side smirked. He was trying to tease me again, but today I have no patience for his tricks.

"Then don't come." I left him hanging there and went inside my room. I started getting ready as fast as I could. We were going for shopping, and we were already quite late. After all, every household was already shimmering in lights and warmth and brother even send pics of our house shining brightly in lightings, and we were late even for a late start.

"Baby! Help!" Ansh called out from other side.

I laughed at his sweet tone. As if his could undo everything with this tone of his. I shook my head and decided to give in.

"Coming Baby!" I tried to mimic his tone and cringed badly at myself. Maybe we were not so monotonous after all, as I recalled all little details and every memory had that almost non-existent sexual tension. Be it eye contacts, not so innocent back-talks, cringy nicknames and overly sweet tones, and flirty touches.

I shook my head and mentally scolded myself for being distracted yet again. After changing my clothes, tying my hair up and applying some lip balm, I went to living area to help Ansh change. This had also become one of the self-controlling task. I never knew I was craving a man's touch this much, maybe not any man but Ansh.

_

"Ansh I think we should just visit the Goddess temple tomorrow, what say?"

After looking around I thought it was best to go visit the goddess instead of bringing her home.

The preparation for Pooja would be too much for someone who had no idea were to even start from. So maybe lighting the house and wearing some traditional clothes and then visiting the temple to pray would be a good idea than just doing everything wrong at home with no elder's guidance.

"Whatever you say will do" He didn't care about this at all, well what can I expect from an atheist like him. He was satisfied in holding my hand with his left one and leisurely walking beside me as we stroll down the busy streets of old market.

I had never come here before, but it felt remote and crowded and gave the nostalgia of childhood, With carts and stalls of different goods, cheerful calling of vendors, and bargaining of customers. I had gone to such markets with my mom, grandma and aunts when I was little but growing up I used to hate going there and preferred to go shopping in a mall with my friends.

This realization suddenly made the happy clouds around me gloomy. I had never spend enough time with my family after leaving for college and after my break-up I was so depressed and self-absorbed as if the no one needs me but in-fact there were people who love me just as much or even more than Ansh had but what did I do to them, push everyone away from me as if they don't mean anything to me. My parents, My brother, My best friends who were always there with me from bringing me back from not eating and drinking stage to finally giving up on me after I push them to hard. Even those relatives who I found annoying were just concern of my whereabouts.

Maybe that's why I was mostly worried instead of being happy after coming together with Ansh. I never thought deeply, but maybe this break up had really changed me for worse and so different from my original happy and carefree self from four years ago. She was never the gloomy, cold and lonely Kiyah who blamed everything on Ansh for how her life hit the bottom rock. Maybe that's why Ansh would always look at me in concern when I would be absentminded which was quite a lot throughout the day, and it was normal for me, but not for him who had loved the optimistic and friendly Kiyah who took control of her own life and happiness in her own hands and would not let love change herself.

Had I lost myself already?

Why I felt lonely in the middle of this busy street as if I belonged to nowhere, as if there was no place for me left.

Maybe getting back together was a mistake!

Because I am a mess right now, and I couldn't let Ansh be part of this bullshit. He had already suffered a lot and I couldn't let him get pulled with me in my hell of the life where I still couldn't see the future for us.

I am not confident and what if we didn't end up together, what will happen to me in future! Would my turn to worst?

Maybe that's why despite being together, it didn't felt right. I always felt under pressure as if this time together would be snatched away from me as it did four years ago.

I was having hard time breathing as if the fog which had blinded me suddenly cleared, and I could think clearly everything but why every next thought made me feel worse and worst? It also made the tears ran down my face and I felt even more confused as in what was all this feeling and what was happening around me.

But the next second, I felt Ansh embracing me and all I could hear was my own break-down.

There was really storm waiting on the door, but it was the door of my inner-self turbulence which was going to destroy everything I ever yearned in my life.

_

Sometimes we need to have few break-downs in life to start everything again with newer, brighter and stronger sunlight breaking through gloomy clouds.

_

This chapter may leave you in confusion and frustration, but I decide to trust my instinct, and hopefully we will have the best ever ending.
_

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