My Mr. Artist

Chapter 9

Kiyah

...............And now you're cleaned up with a hair cut, nice tie and shoes
If things were different and I had a choice, which would I choose?  
I got the first kiss and she'll get the last
She's got the future and I got the past
I got the class ring, she got the diamond and wedding band
I got the boy and she got the man 

I got the first kiss and she'll get the last
We each got something, the other will never have
I got the long hair, hot head
She got the cool and steady hand
I got the boy and she got the man
I got the boy and she got the man

It was like this song was meant for me. when you know you are just a forgettable past in his life while the future you once dreamed of with him, will be of someone else.

 i have always love jana kramer's every song but this one really hit hard like always. i still remember playing it on repeat and crying myself to sleep when we broke up or should i say he dumped me. when i first heard this song which was release in my twenties, i simply did not understand the emotion of this song because of my inexperience in love, but still love the lyrics.  i truly felt the depth of pain and heartbreak when i again started to listen this song after ansh broke it of with me, that to over the phone after not having contact with each other for almost four months and also informing me he will be getting married to another girl in the following month. i had always console myself by saying that it was just an excuse he gave me to broke our relationship because there was no news of him getting married or should i say no news at all, so their must be another big complication because my man can never leave me for another girl but i guess it was just a delusion for being so naive. i still get goosebumps as i recall that awful day of my life.

I have been selected to work as an interior architect for which i had given interview few days ago in one of the prominent firm in architect industry. today after filing some paperwork and signing the contract with company, i am sitting on my bed looking at my phone screen. this was one of  the very important event of my life, everyone close to me congratulated on my achievement, my family is going to fly down to my city next week to celebrate. but here i am not feeling anything, i just can't think about anything else other than the fact that i am not able to contact ansh for almost four months when he was going to return to india three months ago.

ansh was having some work outside india which required his attendance and was going to come back within two months time. but after one month of his departure, his phone was unreachable and his social media handle was also not active. when i asked his assistant, he seem hesitant but inform me that ansh has been in his 'do not disturb me mode' as he is completing one of his painting. i believed  him as ansh have habit to detach himself to only focus on his art. but it was never more than a month or so and even if it is he will always find time for me. 

i once again try to call him though i know it will be switched of as usual. i am worried about him now as i don't really know his whereabout that to in some unknown country. as i was going to press red button to cut the call, it got connected and i, without giving him time started

" ANSH, YOU BASTARD, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU EVEN DOING, YOU SCARED ME TO DEATH. YOU SHOULD ATLEAST LEAVE A SINGLE MESSAGE. DO YOU KNOW! HOW WORRIED I WAS NOT KNOWING ANYTHING ABOUT YOU. YOU ARE REALLY MEAN ANSH, YOU CAN'T JUST GHOST ME LIKE I AM NO ONE. YOU ARE BAD, REALLY BAD" at the end of sentence my voice cracked as i got too emotional at that time.

there was silence on the other side of phone

" ansh?"

" hello!, hello?, ansh?"  i call out his name when i don't get any response.