My Mr. Artist

Chapter 34

He knew something was amiss with Kiyah.

She would laugh and tease him one minute and would stare at distance with a distinct look at the next. She would remember his every medicine schedule but would forget to eat her meal on time. Furthermore, she would gaze at him with longing, but then within a few seconds she would avoid his eyes as if guilty about something.

He thought he understood her confusion and the overwhelming feelings because he himself was uncertain and bewildered every day when he woke up and took few minutes to distinguish if it was a dream or reality to have his love with him. He wanted to give her time, he wanted to understand his new Kiyah who looks and behaves so much differently from his once young girlfriend. Likewise, he also couldn't assume how she would react to certain things and couldn't make a decision for her because she had changed, just like him. Not only that, but he wanted to give time for both of them to adjust with each other, discover the new, more maturing, adult version of themselves.

But maybe for Kiyah, it was not just some changes or adulting or readjusting. It seemed like she was having troubles accepting herself or him or this new changes, she might have shown some signs of being unwell and uncomfortable but Saransh blame himself for not noticing it. He blame himself because this last two days he was in his own joy that he unintentionally didn't notice Kiyah's panic and insecurities. When he was planning for their future, she was struggling with her past and present. He hated himself even more that it was him who made her like this. He sometimes thought that it must have been nice for her if she never met him, or if she had truly given up on him. Likewise, he also thought to let her live her life in peace without having him and his burden in it.

And first time he thought that maybe coming together was never a good idea when the real scary shit happened, Kiyah fainting in the middle of street and he was helpless. For Saransh, it was his first time seeing her like this, so broken and confused and then how she went limped in his clumsy left arm. It was the first time he experienced the feeling of getting scared to death as he shouted at everyone to help and call the ambulance. He was really horrified when he turned back and found that Kiyah was crying and was about to faint. He approached her with a broken arm and still managed to save her from the fall. With the help of other, he immediately addressed to the nearby hospital and got her admitted.

Saransh still recalled that upsetting scene as he sat in a hospital room beside the bed where Kiyah was currently lying and resting. He blamed himself throughout the time till they reached here, for all he couldn't read Kiyah's mind, couldn't figure out that the problem was much more serious. He felt it's his fault for not talking it out. They both knew they need to sought out their things, confess their personal difficulties, but they decided to keep quiet and go with the flow.

She woke up within half an hour of settling down in hospital. The check-up with doctor, one-hour long session with a psychiatrist and some medicine made her slumber to sleep again.

Now looking down at his peacefully sleeping little kitten, he felt utterly defeated because it was his fault for whatever she had gone through these years, for making her self-doubt everything and for not giving her the happy life she had once narrated to him which she wanted to live with him. He still remembered what doctor had said to him.

"From the reports from our psychiatrist, she shows the signs of mild depression, it can be controlled without any medication and I also prefer against it. But the mental pressure and overthinking need to slow down. Her panic attack must be because of over-exercising her mind and constant anxiety about maybe work or over some issue and judging from how she fainted and from past reports of her health, it had happened once or twice during a span of couple of months before, but it was nothing major and never happened after that until today. So it is a rare occurrence. I would recommend some psychological therapy only if she is ready. But other than that, don't give her any kind of stress, Ask her about her troubles, if she is good with sharing worries, give her time and listen it out, maybe change of atmosphere or some kind of relaxing therapy can also calm down the chaos in her mind."

Saransh knew that she was never under panic attack or anxiety when they were together or even before that, did this meant that it was after their break-up, maybe due to break up?

His guilt meter raised to maximum degree, but it has no medicine to undo it. So now he would do twice his best to bring back his Kiyah. But he had to make sure she wanted him, or was he the reason to all her suffering and looking at him intensify it?

When Kiyah opened her eyes and saw the solemn looking Ansh, she felt sad for all those upsetting thoughts and parting ways ideas that came into her mind before passing away. It was way too much for her brain but now when she thought about it after calming down, after briefing her problems to the psychiatrist, she knew for sure that she didn't want to lose Ansh, she didn't want that kind of pain, not again. Because she knew for sure that in this life she can love no one as much as she loves Ansh. She just needed to trust him, and more so that she needed to trust herself.

Saransh also noticed her waking up and leaned forward towards her, gently placing his forehead on hers, he whispered, "you scared me, love."

"Sorry" She uttered a single word with a hoarse voice.

"You want some time to accept me, I can move out. I... I am sorry Kiyah, did you feel pressure, you don't have to take it out on yourself, I know, maybe we once had our time and I fucked up and now there is no turning back...." He was having difficulty pointing out this but still for Kiyah's good health, for her future, even if he had to move away from her life, he would do that.

"Shhh..." Kiyah didn't have enough strength left to comfort him, so she lifted her hand and carefully patted him on the head.

"It's not you Ansh, I just need time, but I can't do it alone. Will you accompany me, help me?" She still spoke, somewhat pausing in between.

"You don't have to ask, I am ready to do anything, I will make you fit and fine and as energetic as a little monkey jumping from here to there."

She chuckled lowly and inwardly determined that whatever troubles would come there were, she would face it with Ansh, she would not let the universe break them away again.

She would become strong not for anyone but for herself, she would try to believe in herself the most.

But first, she wanted to go home, she wanted to go home with Ansh. She was really missing her mother and her 'I am always right' advices. She wanted to blurt out all the difficulties she had faced this past few years and then just tightly hug her mother, crying all the pain and sadness away. Not only that, but she even wanted her father and brother to punish Ansh, well only a little bit, but right now she didn't want to stay in this city even for one second. And so she looked at Ansh with bright eyes, and blurted out before she could hesitate the next second.

"Ansh I want to go home, will you accompany me?" She could feel her heart racing as she stared at him in the eyes.

"Yes, I will." He replied without delay, there was no doubt and no pause. He said fast, but she could see the seriousness in his eyes.

"Even if they beat the cramp out of you?" Kiyah half teased, but she knew that this could be the possibility. Not only Ansh, she had no doubt that her parents may even beat her.

"If they beat me, then I must deserve it. And it will be nothing if I can get their permission to stay with you for life long, to see these beautiful eyes shine brightly and to have this smile on your face to never fade." He said as he touched the corner of my mouth and I could feel my face heating up as if I was that little girl who was touch by a boy for the first time.

_

On one side, Kiyah and Saransh were ready to break down their hesitation and gave a chance to revive their relationship, to start from the scratch and through right way. With Kiyah willing to be true to her loved once and wanting to relieve her burden in front of her parents to confess all her problems and grievances, with Saransh willing to company her and assuring her and her parents that he truly meant what he had promised her, to make right from wrong and ready for any punishment just to be with her.

But on other side,

The atmosphere in Awasthi family was more dreadful, No joy of upcoming wedding and no happiness and serenity of Diwali. The house was filled with gloomy cloud. Anyone were rarely seen looming outside their room.

On the second floor, in one of the room, Saira was crying as she leaned in her fiancé's arms. Ishaan consoling her to no avail as she muttered coherent words in between her sob.

"Will Ansh Bhai leave us all again?"

"Did Kiyah and Ansh Bhai really had an affair and cheated on Daksha bhabhi?"

"What should I do? I don't believe they would do that? I know my Ansh Bhai and I know Kiyah they are not bad, Kiyah is not a vixen mother believes she is!"

"Then believe yourself, don't judge them before knowing what is going on." Ishaan repeated again and again as he patted her back to calm her down.

"But why did Ansh didn't return with us, did he really go to live with Kiyah, then what will to them, what will happen to Daksha, Will Bhai never return again!" As she spoke more confusion and worry clouded her mind, nearly making her crazy.

"It's their problem to worry, they are all adults and will handle it the right way. We will take you to meet them after our wedding but right now you just need to focus on one thing understand."

"What thing?"

"Me."

And it did quite a magic as Saira blushed and smile shyly when Ishaan leaned down to kiss her worries away, redirecting her attention towards him and him only.

At the opposite corner of Saira's was Shivin's room, Today was a rare holiday, and Shivin was sitting beside his son who was drawing a house with lights and decorations on a paper. His wife, Ramya sat on a couch nearby, getting ready for evening Pujan. She couldn't help but glance at him, trying to speak something, but unable to open her mouth.

"Dad! When Ansh Chachu will come, I want to show him all my drawings I drew since last week, He must be well now right? You said you will go pick him up day before yesterday!" Looking at his son who looked more like his brother than himself, staring at the same innocent eyes and same cute pout, Shivin felt a wave of sadness surfacing again. His brother was forced to lose his childhood and innocence, was kicked out of his own house and he, Shivin, couldn't do anything but just watch from the sideline. What right do this people calling themselves Ansh's family had to judge him for his own decision when they were the first to leave him alone on his own.

It might be of no use but Shivin had decided that he would support his brother and would try his best to bring him back with everything he loves, whether it would be his passion to be an artist or to be with a woman he had fallen in love with. He would make sure everyone knew that Saransh Awasthi was and would always be an irreplaceable part of their life, and he couldn't be just thrown out, not again.

"He will come soon, I promise, and then he will teach you how to draw a portrait and if you enjoy doing this and wish to become an amazing artist like your Chachu, you can, no one will force you otherwise." Lakshit smiled sweetly hearing this, not knowing the deep commitment his father had given him, not knowing the guilt his father felt while saying these words.

But Ramya understood every emotion her husband was feeling right now. She knew that Saransh was a soft spot for him. And he would make sure to support his brother in anything if that makes him never leave their side, never leave his side again.

Both siblings stood against their own mother, refusing to support her while positioning themselves to defend their brother, which brought many arguments and stalements in the last couple of days.

Because of this Paawni, their mother was continuously boiling in rage, disregarding any attempt to listen to anyone but Daksha. She was behaving like everyone who wanted to talk in peace or ever so lean towards Ansh was her enemy. Right now also, she was sitting in her room, giving silent glares at her disinterested husband while preparing the gold and money to offer at Puja. She was also occasionally grumbling to her husband, who may or may not have listened to any.

"I should have gone to that girl's house and bring my son back. It was because of Shivin, otherwise I would have never let my son to even spent a second at that girl's house, how does it look good! He has a wife at home, and he shh..." She made a disgusted face and stay silent for few minutes before continuing again,

"How can you stay silent, you should call on him to come home right away."

"How can Dad also stay tolerant to all of this, or because of old age, he lost his ability to judge right from wrong, Mom also is not saying anything, they are not even coming out of their room."

"Can't you all see how Daksha must be suffering, enough now I can't stand you looking like some dead ghost, I will go and check on her." After finishing everything, she packed up her things and left the room.

Vahin turned his head and finally looked at his wife departing back, he signed heavily as he shook his head in defeat. He could see the picture clearly, just as his father also understood the situation. Saransh had no regards towards his family, and no amount of pressure could bring him back against his will. Right now, the company more or less depends on him, and it was them who needed him and not the other way out. Shivin had joined the company, but he had been advised not to overwork himself and he, himself seemed to be not interested in retaking his position. Whereas Ansh knew the best about current affairs of the company and proved to be the best leader who had expanded their company on new heights. He had really outsmarted everyone's expectation and most of the main projects were under him now. Awasthi Group couldn't afford to lose him. So the situation was more delicate than it seems to be.

And the thing his wife said, how can he demand anything from his son when he never treated him like one, Vahin thought, closing his eyes in pain and regret.

_

As she got a discharge and left the hospital, she felt serene within herself. Maybe after that mental breakdown, she genuinely felt like she was reborn once again and everything made her happy.

Walking back hand in hand with Ansh from hospital made her happy. Then booking a taxi, they went to Lakshimi temple and Ansh, who always stayed on sideline showing his disinterest clearly on his face about all this, stood beside her and prayed with her for first time, even asking 'Prasad' for her from Pandit. This little changes made her smile never fell the entire night.

They even watched fire crackers show there, sitting together enjoying their unique type of Diwali.

Meeting that helpful and kind neighbor while returning home, who asked if Ansh was that friend that day then concerning over him to care of him and asking him to not scare his 'friend', this made Kiyah giddy inside.

Next day, Ansh doing all the work in the house with one hand and coming to check on her every few minutes even if she was sitting in front of him was cute

Ansh booking the ticket of early morning flight for early morning flight the next day and then going shopping for almost whole day, buying best clothes, expensive gifts and watching 'how to impress your parents-in-law' videos on repeat. It was so cute and funny, and it made her super excited that she couldn't sleep the entire night.

Right now, the early morning coldness also felt refreshing and made Kiyah smiled with red nose and cheeks. Sitting in a car, on their way to airport, looking at her boyfriend who was busy adjusting the strap of his arm with a frown on his face also made her smile like some crazy person.

'Such silly thing, But it took me a beautiful first relationship, a horrified break-up, three years of separation, messy reunion, one accident and a meltdown on a busy street to understand that your happiness depends just on yourself.
Maybe this was just temporary thinking and another bigger breakdown would be waiting in the future, but I still have certain trust on myself that I can overcome it And I would be ready for it.'

"You okay?" She heard Ansh asked her the same question he was asking since she was admitted in the hospital.

"Ansh you have asked me this for more than a hundred times, now stop!" She whined, which made Ansh pinched her cheek, but also smile in relief seeing her being little cottequish.

The car stopped and Kiyah was more than ready to go to her hometown after being here for almost a year. First when she blurted out that she wanted to go home and proposed Ansh to join her, she said it on whim, but then she started to overthink about it again. Her parents knew about Ansh, She had introduced him as a friend at the start of their dating, a little dinner date and that's it, they didn't meet after that. But they could hear about 'this friend' in between few sentences from Kiyah's mouth sporadically and then it stopped all of a sudden. It was a month after she confessed that she had someone she wanted to marry but the next month she swore never to marry in her life, then there were no more talks about him. They were her parents and no matter however she tried to hide, they must have known some things were wrong. 

Lastly the most important thing for her to worry about was that, Ansh was still legally married to his wife.

She almost backed off after thinking about it for few hours but when she started feeling like she was over stressing everything again, she decided to just go for it, she decided to bring him along to this ride to hell. She decided to be honest with her parents. Not only that, but she would also break down everything, maybe adding Ansh's sad childhood as background story would help her parents to go little easy on him. Maybe her parents would take it lightly, or...... she looked at Ansh, maybe she would also have a strap of plaster on her hand in her return trip.

They were crossing the entrance gate when Kiyah paused and grabbed Ansh's hand tightly. She stood there while holding his hand, her eyes conveying thousands of emotions, but her mouth couldn't utter a single word.

Saransh also moved forward and embraced her, showing full PDA to other passengers who were glancing their way and moving forward. He knew Kiyah was reminiscing their last met before break up. They had kissed their last goodbye at city M's airport. He, himself, felt upset remembering that time.

"You okay?" Saransh wanted to comfort her but he subconsciously uttered those same words he had been repeating throughout these couple of days. He mentally cursed himself.

But it made the gloomy thought disappeared from Kiyah's mind, and she burst out laughing and then pulled him inside the airport with her as she muttered, 

"My Silly Mr. Artist" Saransh widen his eyes hearing his most favorite name from Kiyah's mouth, It made him blushed like a freaking teenager but his eyes reflected the happiness beyond this world. He missed this word and he missed his Kiyah uttering it. 

Kiyah just glanced at him who was staring stupidly at her and moved ahead.

Her deep dimples flashing as her smile widen with each step, it was as if with every step she took forward, she finally chose to leave that painful past behind, embracing the future ahead of her.

 "I am okay, I think." 

She ought to be alright, for her sake, his sake and for their happy future ahead. 

And giving her parents an unexpected visit, especially with an unexpected guest would be quite normal for their happy future right?

Kiyah mentally giggled as she imagined how her parents and brother's reaction might be when they would knock on their door within few hours.

Well, she doubt it would be happy but still she was looking forward to it.

_

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