Marvel: Reader Inserts

Holding It Together ~ Logan Howlett x Reader

 Everything had slowly piled on. From every direction. Work. Family life. Your insecurities. The political climate. Your health problems.

On the outside, you forced yourself to seem put together, positive, and okay. But on the inside, you were breaking faster than you could put yourself together. You didn't want anyone to know how bad it was getting, but someone was slowly seeing the cracks you didn't know were coming through your facade.

Logan first noticed when you laughed at one of Scott's lame jokes one breakfast. It wasn't as loud as it usually was, more hollow. The next time, he found you zoned out in the library. He watched you curiously for a moment. And before he could go to you, Ororo pulled you out of your daze and dragged you a long to come help her.

Logan noticed that you were being pulled in too many directions. Everyone wanted your help all the time. To collaborate on lessons. To ask questions. To hang out. Or to run trainings and missions. Then there were the family events you were constantly going to when you had time. He couldn't remember the last time you took a day off or insisted on staying in your room for the night. Logan was growing concerned that you weren't going to be able to handle all of this much longer.

One night, on his way to bed, Logan saw you in the hall. You clearly didn't notice him as a few tears slipped down your cheeks and you seemed to head to your room on autopilot.

"Y/N?" He called your name.

You froze and quickly wiped away your tears. "Hey, Logan," you forced out a smile.

"Y/N," he repeated, his tone full of concern as he stepped closer to you. "Are you okay?"

You bit your lip and nodded. "I'm fine."

His brow quirked. "You sure?"

"Positive."

He didn't believe you one bit. "I've noticed that you been non-stop lately."

"It's just life," you shrugged.

Logan shook his head. "No, it's not, sweetheart. This is much more than that."

You sighed. "I'm okay, Logan."

"Y/N—"

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight." Then you disappeared into your room.

~~~

Logan kept his distance the next day but also made sure that you were in his line of sight most of the day. You were holding yourself like the weight of the world was on your shoulders and Logan hated to see you that way. He just wanted you to be happy and relax.

As they day went on, Logan watched you continually put others before yourself in unhealthy ways. You really had no boundaries. When Kitty asked for your help with prepping dinner, Logan stepped in. He had had enough.

"No, Y/N's going to go rest," Logan said, placing himself between you and Kitty.

"What?" You questioned. "Logan, I'm fine."

He turned around to face you. "No, you're not. Let's go." He gently turned you around and began guiding you to your room.

"Logan—"

"Not hearing it, sweetheart."

"Logan, please." Tears collected in your eyes.

"I'm done watching you run on fumes. You're going to rest and I'll bring you whatever you need."

"No." You pulled yourself from Logan's grip and spun around to face him. "I can't, Logan. I need to keep going."

"You're going to get sick if you continue on like this."

"I have to keep going. If I don't... Just, please, Logan. I'm fine."

He shook his head. "No. I'm not dropping this. You're running yourself to the ground and I can't stand by and watch it anymore."

"There's just so much," you admitted quietly, allowing the tears to fall. "If I help everyone else, I don't have to think about it."

"Sweetheart..." He stepped closer and carefully cupped your face in his large, rough hands. "Ignoring the problems are just going to make it worse. Trust me, I'm the king of doing that."

"I'm sorry. It's just all too much, Logan... It's all too much." You broke down into sobs and Logan quickly pulled you into him, holding you close.

"I got you, sweetheart. I've got you."

Gently, Logan picked you up and carried you the rest of the way to your room. He tried to set you down on your bed but you gripped him tightly. He toed his boots off as he held you before moving to lay on the bed.

"You can't keep going like this, sweetheart," he told you as you cried against him. "You're wearing yourself down and it's hurtin' me to see."

"I'm sorry," you cried.

He shushed your apology. "Don't do that."

"Everything's just so overwhelming... I'm so alone and I don't know how to handle any of it."

"I'm not goin' to let you handle it alone anymore. I'm right here for you, sweetheart."

You pushed yourself up to try to get off of Logan and shook your head. "No, I can't put my burdens on you, Lo—"

"Stop that." He pulled you back against him. "You can't keep your burdens to yourself any longer. I'm here and willing."

"Why?"

Logan looked at you and hesitated. How could he possibly tell you that he had a major crush on you when you were at such a low? He would have to wait and be okay with just being a friend for now.

"Because, sweetheart, I care about you," he responded. "And I'm your friend. Let me help."

You nodded. "And it all... won't scare you away?"

"Never, darlin'. Nothing you could say would ever scare me away from you."

Your breath caught at his words and the look in his eyes. You could see that he was serious and that there was something else behind it. You didn't push though, not in the right mindset.

"I need you to stop holding it all in, sweetheart," Logan continued. "I need you to be straight with me and allow me to help you."

"I don't know where to even start, Logan... Just the thought of any of it... I get emotional and I—"

"Calm down, darlin'. Breathe. We don't have to talk about anything right now. Whenever you're ready." He kissed your head. "Right now, let me just hold you. Okay?"

You let yourself sink into him further, tears still slipping from your eyes. "What if I fall asleep?"

"Then I'll hold you until you wake. I'm not goin' anywhere."